CRAZZZY TIMES!!

epiphany at 2.30 am!!

2011-08-17T02:55:00.000+05:30

2.30 am on a wednesday middle-of-the-night..suddenly i hear the sound of some very loud very amateur (emphasis on the very) drumming coming from a neighbouring flat..n pretty soon it is joined by a very loud very weird broken-ish voice trying to "sing"..only it sounds more like a cat getting done from behind by a very large horse..

drawn by some morbid curiosity to put a face(s) to the "unchained melody" sprouting forth, i open the window facing the source of such abomination n what do i see?? one of the neighbourhood kids is vigorously headbanging over his drum kit while waving his hands around n randomly hitting various parts of the said drum kit..and some other older kid is headbanging dangerously close to this first kid's head n i guess it is from his mouth that the horrible painful sound is coming from..

pretty soon it became apparent that i was not the only unwilling audience of this impromptu rendition of god knows what..barnali kakima (the drum kid's mom) suddenly burst into the room and all hell broke loose!! the poor kids got the bashing of their lives..n such caustic vitriol spewed from the mouth of barnali kakima that would put to shame even the makers of delhi belly :P

so..at the end of all this, the moral of the story is ---> i should take care to play my yaoi n hentai vids at a lower volume..never realized that sounds carried so clearly this late at night :P

psychopathy

2011-06-15T01:14:00.000+05:30

most people call it a mental illness..i call it the story of my life..hello to me..ur friendly neighbourhood psychopath :)

i have always been a bit weird (ok "bit" was a major understatement)..but most people like me inspite of the weird fruitcake that i am..n some like me "because" of the weird fruitcake that i am..none really understand me and that, apparently, contributes to my "charm"..hehe..

so there i am..abnormal..weird..a certifiable lunatic (according to societal norms, at least)..i am no hypochondriac but i dare anyone to open up a psychology journal n not find at least 15 different mental illnesses that i seem to be afflicted with..but then again, most psychology journals are written by dumb americans who think every tiny thing can be written off as a mental illness..no wonder i found something to blame my laziness in college.."delayed sleep phase syndrome"..quite a mouthful, ain't it??..and the beauty of it was that i didn't even have to make it up..thank u google n wikipedia for letting me go through college without having to attend classes..lol..

anyway, i digress..as usual..so where was i?? ahh..yeah..psychopathy..again wikipedia comes to my aid in defining it as "a term which, until the 1980s, formally referred to a personality disorder characterized by the inability to form human attachment and an abnormal lack of empathy, masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal"..it fits, don't u think?? inability to form human attachment - check, lack of empathy - check, ability to appear outwardly normal - check!!

i had never really thought of going about naming what might be wrong with me (not that i agree that anything is wrong at all)..but when one day in college i hit upon that charming little wiki article on psychopathy during one of my many travails through the timepass heaven that is internet, i still remember saying inside my head: "ding ding ding..bingo!"..stuff fell into place..

dunno if there is an earlier post of mine about this..anyway..i have always liked things..material objects..just.."stuff"..i have never been the coochi-cooing with people type..i interact with people only as far as i need to..i get more cut up about my computer crashing than a person dying..and people i have always viewed as replaceable..they come and go..that kid u played with in kindergarten and who was ur best friend then may not be ur best friend now..u may have a different best friend who has taken the place of ur old best friend..so the post of "best friend" is constant but the person occupying it keeps changing..even i have seemed to be great friends with a lot of people over the years but i can say with conviction that less than a dozen are (or were ever) really considered as "friends" by me..the rest are just random people i am not averse to talking to when i am very bored and none of my friends are available..people are anyway not among my favourites.."people are boring..they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs"..i never did have much regard for human life..too harsh?? ahh well..if that article is really to be believed, its weird that i consider anyone a friend at all..stuff makes me happy..i like stuff more..i could live out my life if i had all the stuff i wanted..simple..hehe..so really it didn't feel like a bolt of lightning hitting me when i read that article..it was more like - oooh really?? cool name of new thingy i seem to have..

i remember telling a friend sometime back that he was timepass..i still don't understand why he seemed so offended and hurt to hear that..life itself is timepass for me..everything i do, everyone i speak to, it is all in order to pass time so that i am not bored..it makes perfect sense to me that a person would live his/her life trying to achieve his/her goals..and my goal just happens to be my own happiness (and i really think most normal people would agree that it makes for a very understandably "normal" goal)..and being bored does not make me happy..is it so inconceivable that i would want to surround myself with those things and people and only with those things and people which are able to give me that?? incidentally, that friend went on to become one of my best friends but still harbours the belief that i do not think of him as important enough..which is weird considering that he is still on timepassing terms with me..maybe i should have explained to him that most people i talk to (but do not think of as friends) are not timepass material and what i had said back then was kind of a compliment..hmmm..

n why m i blabbing all this suddenly out of the blue?? well, as it happens, one of my best friends who had previously claimed never to develop feelings for anyone else, went the utterly predictable route n fell for a girl who was already taken by someone else..needless to say, heartache followed..n so did a nice medium-timed telephone conversation..which got me to thinking (ahh thinking..*sigh*..it's a thing i have to get used to now that i have oh so much idle time to while away)..well it's not like i really didn't expect him to fall for someone..in fact, i was the one who had been telling him for a long time now that he would fall - n fall big - for some girl..it's just that..now i am officially the only one (that i know of) who actually is incapable of feeling such kind of emotions for a person..aaaaaaand if the wiki article on "dissociative identity disorder" is to be believed, then one of me (at least) is a psychopath..there! isn't that a lovely thought?? :)

ps: aah..a nice long rant at last..some vintage moi..sashiburi sashiburi..i thought i had gotten too lazy to blogify random rants like this any more..glad to be proven wrong :P

mesmerizing..

2011-05-19T22:26:00.000+05:30

those eyes that caught my attention
that sadistic gleam which was there but a minute
that one glance which told me everything yet nothing
you imprisoned me with just a glare

those eyes which seemed to have a mind of their own
that smile so thin it could cut you
the malice behind it but barely veiled
just who had made you so??

ahem ahem

2011-02-10T19:34:00.000+05:30

i loved you, till u killed me
i was there, till u threw me away
but even as i breathed my last
i did not blame you
perhaps i loved you too much
or maybe i just didn't care..

posting from archived old random posts..this was actually part of a long emo piece.. from another time n place..its rather embarrassing reading through it all now..but this part was still quite more poetic than the rest..

so this was my 1st post of the year..after a nice loooooong siesta..lets see if i can get regular in blogging again..

oh! calcutta..

2010-07-17T13:12:00.001+05:30

guess its high time i dropped a few words on my favourite city..the city i was born in..partially grew up in..the city that i call home now..got a lot of memories attached to it..childhood memories which are all sort of a blur coz i didn't know one end of cal from the other and the entire city was sort of a maze for me..i still remember that i was struggling to recall the way from howrah station to dida's place at jodhpur park the first time i seriously contemplated running away from home (i was 5 or 6 years old at that time i think..of course i didn't do it..dad caught up with me halfway down to the main road n coaxed me back home..hehe)..so there r those memories of going all around cal with parents..every part of the city seemingly new every time i came over..and new memories a few years later when the city started to change..em bypass became all awesome..salt lake became habitable..flyovers came up..forum opened its doors (the first mall since sriram arcade!..which isn't really a mall but then we didn't know any better before..n the tube elevators were sooo cool..hehe)..puja pandals became "international"..fancy stores cropped up..ccds n baristas opened up at every corner..multiplexes n malls came up all over the place..

but even when it's changed, a few things still remain constant..n those r what i love the best..like watching the mountains of white clouds on a clear sunny day..like the grey sky of a monsoon afternoon behind the white marble of victoria memorial, partially hidden behind green trees..bandhs..those mandatory holidays that even evil bosses cannot take away..the traffic jams which make for a ready-made excuse, even if i was the one who left 15 minutes late..hehe..how the bustling gariahat more at 9.30 pm is almost completely deserted by 10.00 pm..the deathtrap that is the "auto"..sitting in front, hanging on for dear life as it rivals a rollercoaster's trail..how the cheapest of food joints serve the tastiest of dishes..how gariahat shoes last way longer than "branded stuff"..allllll the awesome awesome food..hehe..phuchka n chats..chop n singara..biryani n chinese..ilish n pomfret n watnot..and the people..love how lazy everyone is..love how still kids come out to play cricket in the streets in the evenings..how the lake is still the same..full of couples u just itch to go n disturb..durga puja and all the hustle bustle that comes with it..the old fashioned melas at every fair ground..those games which are still the same as when i was 10..

(to be contd.)

chocolates!!!

2010-05-22T19:22:00.000+05:30

i want a box of chocolates..i wanna finish a nice biiiig box of chocolates..assorted ones..some with rum in them..some with nuts..some just chocolate..some sweet..some sticky..some bitter..some crunchy..nice round ones u unwrap n plop into ur mouth..n heaven.. *sigh*

me..chocolates..want!! *stomp stomp*

kaleidoscope of emotions..or..what u will..

2010-04-25T02:10:00.000+05:30

as i sat down to draft a petition
my mind automatically drifted away
as i started typing words which had no meaning
i frantically tried to keep sleep at bay

but my mind being my mind
had a mind of its own
and much as i tried to reign it in
at last i had to let it go

out flowed words i never imagined i could write
poetry so hauntingly beautiful, it actually gave me a fright!

for the usual me possesses no poetry
my soul resembles a barren land
but finally as my torrent burst forth
emotions tugged at me i could barely understand

a veritable kaleidoscope it was
wild and free
yet too much too fast
i never knew what possessed me

i thought i would be able to translate it all on paper
and finally publish a piece worthy of me
but words ran dry as soon as i dipped my pen in ink
alas! poignant poetry is still not my cup of tea

hence i shall leave it at this
a mere attempt at a great feat
maybe some day i shall emerge triumphant
but tonight i am beat

best time of the day

2010-04-25T00:06:00.000+05:30

this was always her favourite time of the day..walking home from work..late enough that the streets were deserted and quiet..but early enough that there was no real danger involved in roaming the empty streets..a light cool breeze blowing..a few of her favourite old melodies playing on the radio..the area free of the usual cacophony of life as she quietly hummed a few notes under her breath..yes this was definitely her time..

she slowly made her way to the intersection..walking lazily along..much different from her usual "march of doom" as a few people so eloquently put it..she forgot about her day..finally for a few minutes at the very least she could be free of the constant reminders of pending this n drafting that..coz once she set foot inside her flat, reality would come sneaking back in with the slam of the door..so for these lazy few minutes she let the wind ruffle her hair gently..let it calm her down..looked up at the moon and the drifting clouds..smiled faintly at some obscure memory of after dinner walks with friends..and made her way slowly towards where her life lay in wait..

blah blah blabbity blah

2010-04-24T14:57:00.002+05:30

Nobody loves me..

Nobody cares..

I'm going to the garden..

To eat some worms..

Big fat squiggly worms..
Small thin wriggly worms..
I'm going to the garden..
To eat some worms..

funny how we remember stuff like this from way back in primary school but forget what we studied last night..

have been feeling very nostalgic for the past few days..n then i just had to go and have a 3 hour conversation with an old school friend..come to think of it, we've known each other for about 8 years now!!..how time flies..even more nostalgic now..feel reaaaaaally old all of a sudden..wanna meet friends n talk about nothing..random gossip..of who's doing what..of link ups n break ups..sum gud ol' fashioned leg pulling..play dumb charades or truth or dare..make obscure jokes only we would laugh about..reread slam books for the umpteenth time..and then update them..again..meet a long forgotten old crush n still feel a blush coming on at his sight..go back in time..explore all the "what ifs"..find out things about friends i never knew or bothered about before..talk of the books n movies we used to watch and the memories attached to them..browse old pictures n marvel on how different we used to look..prank call guys to make "popat"..talk about absentee friends..about friends who got married right after school and dropped off the face of the earth..do a gazillion things one can do only with people you've known practically all your life..

if there's one thing i hate about my life, it's that i never have enough time or energy to go meet up with friends who live like a stone's throw away from me..and it's only gonna get worse..and some day in the future, there will be no more worms to eat in the garden.. *sigh*

congregation!!

2010-04-11T00:36:00.001+05:30

a bit late in writing this..considering i've been meaning to do it ever since i actually got on the flight back n started missing my friends..and a week later, m still missing them..

so here goes..my ode to a magical weekend..dedicated to ghosty, hosty n toasty..from your very own roasty!!

easter weekend of 2010..will go down at least in my history as one of my most memorable weekends..its true that friends are the family you choose..and i chose the best ones of the lot..n the craziest too thankfully or they'd never be able to stand me longterm..hehe..impromptu trips across the country are now part of the deal..people were shocked to hear that the normally terribly stingy me was shelling out big bucks to fly to mumbai to meet friends for apparently no reason whatsoever..which is what made it all the more exciting..wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if there were a reason..like a wedding or sumthing..coz then the bride would be too busy being, well, the bride..and we'd be one member short..as it was now, it was absolutely perfect..

while i was rushing to dum dum from court (actually as it turns out, i didn't need to rush..figures that there would never be any traffic when i start out early enough to account for it), it all still seemed pretty unreal..there i was..flying to a city i had never been to before..made plans with people i had never met before..absolutely unsure of where i would be when..na this all sounds scary..it wasn't..just that it was pretty crazy planning everything last minute..and an extremely boring flight later, i was in the desi version of the big apple..and there was a familiar face greeting me at the airport..and suddenly it was like it all became clear..like when ur ears pop open after the flight evens out and suddenly u can hear everything properly..and that's how one of my most amazing weekends started..

chronicling everything here would be a tedious job..and one that the lazy me is not inclined to engage in..suffice to say that i met everyone i wanted to and more..best friends..brother..one of the verrrry few people i knew only through internet and actually liked..bf..random guy i had interned with years back n bumped into again now..friends of friends..n apparently even bagged a future client!..shopped..ate..drank..roamed around the city in the middle of the night..had a few sessions of our crazy photoshoots..spent all night chitchatting about everything under the sun..n a few topics over it..drooled over hot guys in movies..watched a crappy movie n made fun of it..slept all smushed together like sardines in a can..woke up later than we planned..had a lazy drowsy afternoon talking about everything and nothing at all..shared memories of times spent together..and apart..and so much much more..

heres to hoping that this starts a trend..of meeting up randomly..congregating just because..and heres to hoping that the next destination is kol..coz, man, am i broke!

cheerio~

a moment of pure happiness ^_^

2010-03-27T19:15:00.000+05:30

one second..n it seems everything's going well with my life..
1. going to mumbai this weekend..gonna meet all my best friends from college after almost a year..
2. getting paid tomorrow..
3. a client i had been waiting for since january finally landed up..if they had not come today, i would have had to cancel next weekend's plans..
4. joyda praised me..
5. it is raining in kol..finally!!

ps: one day i get called aunty and the next day i need to show an age proof for watching LSD..i have given up wondering how old i look really.. *sigh*

to be noted

2010-03-18T18:30:00.002+05:30

watching mushy romantic movies while ur bf is out of town for 3 months is injurious to health..it makes one down 1/2 a bottle of vodka after a dinner of chocolate chip ice-cream..

aunty!!

2010-03-13T19:26:00.002+05:30

remember that old hair dye ad where some not-so-old woman gets grey hair and is called aunty by the neighbour's kid?? i can still clearly hear the "aunty..aunty..aunty.." fading into the background as she makes a face like her entire life just fell apart..

well..some kids just came by for chanda..n for the first time ever, i got called aunty!!!!!! lol..it was really funny..m normally called didi at best..but wow..aunty!!..hehe..felt like i was all grown up n all..how i wish this had happened in front of my colleagues back in kolkata who think i am nearer 4 than 24..or other friends who still apparently think of me as a scraggly school girl or something..its sad that the only person here to appreciate my "aunty moment" was my 93 year old granddad who's deaf and hence didn't hear a thing.. :P

ahh..the ironies of life.. *sigh*

......

2010-02-13T11:18:00.000+05:30

those eyes which seemed to have a mind of their own
that smile so thin it could cut you
the malice behind it barely veiled
just who had made you so?

thoughts at 2.28 am..

2010-02-11T03:15:00.002+05:30

i just read your letter again..the one u wrote me the first night after we broke up..did u know??..it was my first ever love letter, if it can even be called that..can't i guess..but still, a letter given to me by someone who loved me..loves me still, or so you claim..the first time i read it that evening, i was furious at quite a few parts..n there were a hundred different answers i wanted to throw at u..i ended up not doing anything at all i think..i guess i needed some time to pass before i read it again calmly..and know what??..this time i felt terribly terribly sad..not angry..not sorry..not guilty..just incredibly sad..i know we will never be friends..you wouldn't be able to be that..and i don't want u to act, at least not when it's just the two of us..and you'll revert back to the guy who loved me if u stop acting as friends..and i'll start feeling guilty again and become all depressed n morose..

its funny u know..i love my friends much much more than any random guy m dating..i'd ditch the guy in a heartbeat if any of my friends needed me and it came down to a choice..that's actually what we've fought over quite a few times..my giving importance to apparently insignificant things in a friend's life as opposed to him..but that's the thing..they aren't insignificant to me..every conversation i have with them, whether it's talking about something terribly important or nothing at all, is important to me..and i find it unfair to put this one guy above all of them merely because i am dating him n m in love with him n stuff..of course, if it were a clear choice between two people in bad situations, i'd choose the person who needed me the most, regardless of whether he is a friend, a boyfriend or some random person i just met..and that's what's funny..i can't truly care about u as a friend till i know that u think of me as a friend too..which is weird coz i normally don't care what people think of me and am a friend anyway..but i guess this time it's a bit different..since u r not just any person..and if i do show that i care, you might take it the wrong way..and i do think that u need to get over me and i wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardise that any further than i already have by complicating things more..you probably think m really weird..constantly harping on u to be friends with me..like some pushy kindergarten kid..it's just that..i really do like u a lot..and i can't show it if i can't label it with a tag like "friend"..my best friend among guys is an ex (though he's blanked it out of his mind that we ever went out..lol)..that's how it always is..i either become amazing friends with guys i used to go out with or my amazing friends fall for me..hehe..

i always did think we could be good friends..of course, i had also thought that i'd fall for you, and we both know how that turned out..anyway..do u remember??..i always used to tell u that i was a heartless bitch and that it was ur job to make this heartless bitch care??..remember how i always told u to make me fall for u??..i wouldn't have said that if i didn't believe that u could do it..i guess that in time you would have..i have always known that i have trust issues..major ones..and i can't just go ahead n fall for someone..however much i wanted to..my better self would prevail and would prevent me from ever going completely overboard..i would always have a part which would doubt everything..and if ever anything went wrong, that doubting part of me coupled with a more than healthy dosage of pride would come to the forefront and keep me from breaking down..that's the secret to moving on in an instant i guess..lol..

u wouldn't ever understand why i can't trust anyone..and i don't think i could properly explain it to you either..n no i don't trust him either, in case u were thinking that i do..but in time, i've learnt to believe that he means no harm at the very least..did u know??..i started going out with him coz i was bored and coz i was curious..we used to have all these conversations about sadism..n how it would be an amazing challenge to break another sadist..i actually told him to his face that i thought he asked me out only to try and break me..imagine hearing that from the girl u are completely in love with..hearing that not only does she not have any feelings for you, but she believes u actually mean to harm her instead..imagine what he must have gone through and what he must have had to do to make that girl believe in him and even love him..she kept on throwing test after test at him, trying to make him slip up..but he stuck to his guns..if he had run away even once, that would have been the end of it..like it was with u..with someone like me, u should never leave a door open..i am known to always expect the worst..

i have never broken anyone quite as much as i've broken u i think..and i feel guilty as hell every time i think about it..the only other time that i've ever come close to feeling this is when one of my really good friends fell for me and refused to believe that i did not have any romantic feelings for him..i was merely being normal and friendly towards him, which he took to mean something more..it was then that i decided that it sends out entirely wrong signals if u r "nice" to a guy..i have not been "nice" since..rarely have i ever initiated conversations..sent that first sms..told anyone i missed them or called them up "just like that"..n the times that i have done so, i can count on the fingers of one hand..

you know what??..when he asked me out, i didn't even feel 1/100th of what i felt when u asked me out that morning..isn't it ironic??..with u, i actually thought i'd fall for u..with him, i was merely bored n curious n to some extent wanted to show that i had moved on too, i guess..silly..i genuinely never believed that i'd fall for him..i had hoped of course, like i did every time i agreed to go out with anyone..but by that time, i was more like "bleh..i don't care either way"..and i mistrusted him a lot more than i mistrusted u..or maybe because of u..dunno..

do u know the moment i stopped waiting for you??..the moment i knew it was "over"??..that rainy evening i messaged saying some random guy tried to pick me up on the street..we hadn't spoken in a few days and i was beginning to think that it was over..and i should move on..and i looked for an excuse to message..coz u know i always need to have a "reason" to message..just to see how you'd reply..n you asked me why i hadn't gone with him..i detest caveman-like jealousy or possessiveness..i do..and by all standards, i should have been delighted by your reply..dunno why i wasn't though..and..that was it..i could hear it you know..*clank*..something closed up..and i was out..

lol..1 hour and i am still rambling on randomly..pretty much disjointed thoughts..things i've always wanted to say but never could..things which i felt you would never understand..things u wouldn't wanna hear anyway..things u wouldn't believe even if u did hear them..n of course this ain't all..anyway..back to the point..i read your letter again..i cried..probably coz of the gurren lagann ost playing in the background..

ps: i am in two minds about whether to publish this..few people will know what it's all about anyway..n the ones who will, i am afraid wouldn't like me very much for airing their laundry, dirty or otherwise, in public, so to speak..

~edit~
pps: well looks like i did publish it after all..lol.. :P

hometown weddings..

2009-12-12T16:04:00.003+05:30

the best weddings are the ones which u return home to attend..of old school friends n neighbours n all..n the worst weddings are the ones which u return home to attend..which has moms of said old school friends n neighbours n all in attendance..not that i dnt like them or anythg..they are perfectly nice ppl..just that..they seem to luv wanting to parade me around like m sum sorta new piece at a museum..n of course with it comes the inevitable "do u recognize meeeee??" frm everyone in terribly pseudo baby tones..like m still 2 yrs old inside n hence have to b addressed as such..then theres the "omg uv grown sooo much"..thats not really surprising is it now??..i mean, if after 5 years, i didnt grow up..then that wud b something to exclaim over!..but worst thing ever??..getting called by ur most embarrassing pet name which u have been trying really hard to make ppl forget about..not just called, more like screeched at from different corners of the room..*shudder*

its actually quite cute in small doses..nice to meet ppl u used to know almost a lifetime ago..nice to reminiscence..nice to listen to funny tidbits about a forgotten childhood..but when i see a veritable drove of aunties descending on me..thats when i get an urge to turn tail and run..

ps: to all the old school frnds who r reading this n thinking m writing about their moms..m kidding..its actually not that bad..n quite fun..

love is..

2009-12-06T10:51:00.002+05:30

i remember how i used to read this comic strip which used to come in statesman (wow that was a loooong time ago!) of this cute chubby naked married couple called "love is"..with cutesy one liners about what love is..last night i kinda had a moment like that..

love is..when he tells you "i feel for you like you feel for ham".. >_<

ps: btw this was my 100th post..i agonised for days thinking how i should write an "appropriate" post to commemorate the occasion..lol..n look how it ended up..hehe..

return of the boredom..

2009-11-25T17:42:00.000+05:30

yes i am bored..again..i know..story of my life..giant seas of boredom interspaced with tiny land masses of fun..well i am seasick..

got to reading my own blog..yes i am *that* bored..was kinda unsettling to note that most of my posts either start off or end on or at least mention in passing that i am bored..its like its official..on the record..that at least since 2006, i have been bored more or less all the time..but my life kinda rocks as compared to a few others i know..it must suck to be bored AND have a crappy life..at least i don't have that on my plate..still bored tho..

dammit i want a congregation in kol asap!! i know that at least ananya reads this fairly regularly..so plz..set the ball rolling..

ps: do ppl who write pompous blogs actually think in such complicated language or just use such words in their blogs to make them seem more "meaningful"??

blog tweet

2009-11-25T00:38:00.000+05:30

so this is wat has been bugging me tonight..well at least a considerable portion of it..

"he's everything you want, he's everything you need
he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
he says all the right things at exactly the right time
but he means nothing to you and you don't know why.."

fn: vertical horizon - "everything you want"..

ok scratch the 1st two lines..its the last two which r down pat on the point..

ps: yes..i have issues..

pps: i wish ghosty were reading this..she'd understand the real meaning behind it..i guess..

ppps: i love barney (the one from himym n NOT the purple dino!)

pppps: i wanna play the slap bet board game too!!..n wow that was some mental ad..

suddenly sad..

2009-11-24T18:30:00.002+05:30

a few hours back..heck like just 15 mins back, i remember being bored..immeasurably bored..trying to find something to occupy my mind..n suddenly now m sad..not depressed..not lonely..not nostalgic..just very very sad about something..weird coz i don't have anything to be sad about really..hmm..

timeline of wake up sid's release..well..not entirely..

2009-11-19T20:11:00.004+05:30

at work..bored outta my mind..went blog hunting..greatbong had some amazing stuff as usual..but when my demented laughter started turning a few heads, had to change tracks..landed up on a "mush blog"..that is to say, a typical mushy-wushy poem/prose blog stating in increasingly gory details blow-by-blow accounts of all her relationships starting from when she was a baby!!..but again when my demented laughter rang out after reading a few posts, had to remove myself to more serious pursuits..didnt happen..few more random n boring blogs later chanced upon the following post: "timeline of wake up sids release" ..needless to say my demented laughter made yet another appearance..

i gave up and gave in..no work and all play makes me bored and laugh..dementedly..apparently.. :P

boy boy then..

ps: need tips to commercialise my blog..turning out to be more "dear diary" type than i intended..and i need to be a famous movie star to pull that off commercially..hmm..well whatever..

a girl in the rain..

2009-11-18T00:53:00.003+05:30

a chilly night..a little after 11 pm..drizzling quietly..a lone girl is walking down a deserted gariahat getting wetter by the second..the few passersby who are there look on curiously as she continues walking, occasionally smiling to herself or nodding her head to some unknown beat..suddenly a shiny black car stops beside the girl and rolls down the window..inside is a appropriately confused looking young chap..he asks (in very proper cultured english mind you) for directions to salt lake through park circus and the girl duly obliges..as the girl starts walking away, the guy requests to drop her if its on the way..the girl politely refuses n moves forward..the guy (who she notices is actually quite cute) follows n asks again..n again..n just when the girl thinks it's getting annoying, he says something that makes her almost laugh out loud.."don't worry, i'm not gonna kidnap you"..the girl almost turns around to make a sarcastic remark but decides not to humour the guy n walks away..she reaches her bus stop..within a few minutes guess what passes by? the shiny black car! (moving in an entirely different direction to the one she gave the driver to arrive at his destination :P)..a bit more window rolling, polite "no thanks" n "i really *am* safe..trust me" ensues..a few more people start gathering n the guy finally takes the hint n drives away..the girl finally gets on a bus, sits down n bursts out laughing..

is it too sad that one has to be so untrusting that one doesn't recognise genuine "good samaritanism"?? or is it better to always be on your guard??

my moment with lelouch

2009-11-15T10:34:00.001+05:30

sitting bored at work
staring into empty space
i looked out the window
and straight into a piercing purple gaze

eyes like burning tourmaline
set in a face pearly white
a striking profile if i ever saw one
made something inside me clench tight

for seconds, minutes or even hours
i stared unblinkingly
till suddenly the ping of my messenger
made me glance away unwittingly

as i looked out again
the man was gone
and in its place i found
the neighbour's dog all alone

suddenly it struck me
why the stranger seemed so familiar
but he couldn't be the real deal
i must be hallucinating, oh dear

for in that split second
or eon i know not which
i had glimpsed lelouch vi britannia
i lie not or throw me in a ditch

a moment with lelouch
is what had made my dreams thrive
but looking at the scene outside my window
at only one conclusion could i arrive

you may laugh in disbelief
or look at me with disdain
but i will never forget the lazy afternoon
my moment with a cosplayer in a calcutta bylane

yes yes i know..horrible..posted on a dare so there! ha ha!

of age and lists..

2009-11-14T00:51:00.000+05:30

seems that lately all my friends have suddenly realised that they are ageing!..n since most of my frnds r chronologically younger than me, this situation dusnt exactly make me feel the best..i hav like 21 yr olds talkin abt hitting mid-life crisis fr gods sake!! n here i am, a year from attaining "silver" status, made to feel like a 2 yr old at work..in fact my boss actually likens me to his not-even-2-yr-old-daughter!!! go figure..anyway that probably has something to do with the fact that i behave like a looney at work what with being too bored during the court strike n well - actually being a loony inside..hehe..n coz my brain probably holds lesser legal knowledge than my boss' daughter..well anyhoo..a "heated discussion" about ageing and de-ageing ensued..n how one dusnt grow old really unless one starts "feeling" old mentally..anyway whatever..blah blah..

basically what it all culminated in was the bringing up of our old original "to do before so n so age" lists..my "so and so age" was 25 yrs old incidentally, a point which had kinda slipped my mind..reading through what a relatively naive 18 yr old carefree college kid had thought would be accomplished by the ripe old age of 25 yrs was a revelation..i laughed n laughed at a few of my weird choices..cant blv that even then i had somehow thought that after getting the law degree i would be nearer to becoming a spy (my one true lifelong dream which ruled my imagination till i woke up one morning n realised that i dont live in america, the cold war is over, and that no indian intelligence service comes round for college placements)..n since this was my pre "jap crazy" phase, it contained a few really nostalgic names of guys who had later been overshadowed by the likes of yamapi n oguri shun..then again, a few dreams remain constant to this day..anyway going through them made me go all mushy n nostalgic inside, which was of course made a 100 times worse coz i had no court the next day n was bored mindless and hence had the time and energy left to wallow fully..saved somewhat by sreeni's msgs..nothing like discussing sadism to get outta the dumps eh??..at least distracted me a bit..but then a painfully cheerful 1/2 hour of conversation with et made me feel even worse..its at times like these that i miss having net 24/7..what i wudnt have given for an all-nighter chat with sumone..

hmm..this entry is getting too depressing..which wasnt my initial intention at all..anyway it all got me to thinking that maybe i should pen down my current list so as to let a future me have a laugh one boring day..so here it is..

renewed list of things to do before i turn "old" (in no particular order):

1. earn shitloads of money!!!
2. buy my dream car
3. go to japan and have a crazy affair with a hot japanese guy
4. go to japan and buy a real katana
5. go to japan and visit "ni chome"
6. basically just go to japan and go nuts
7. buy shoes i can only drool over now
8. fall in love (the real deal)
9. watch n read everything in my pending list (impossible i know)
10. buy the island (hehehe)
11. stay in a 7 star hotel for the weekend just because
12. become a successful criminal lawyer
13. defend a badly framed but innocent client and win
14. have annual holidays with ananya, mads n ghosty
15. adopt a daughter
16. attend a real anime convention and behave like a total fangirl (tho too old already i guess)
17. meet up with a few online friends who have become better friends than ppl i see everyday
18. pay back my parents
19. get back to reading books
20. learn how to speak japanese properly

just 20 for now..mostly do-able..lets see how long it takes me to fulfill these..
toodle dee doo!

for want of a title..let not the blog be lost :P

2009-10-15T23:15:00.002+05:30

ok so m on a roll here..no i mean literally..egg chicken roll to be precise..only thing is i'm the chicken here..just a weird dream i had last night..or was it a nightmare?? i just remember that i woke up laughing like a hyena coz i didn't go beyond that..not eaten by someone or anything scary..n yeah i was also terribly hungry when i woke up..with a craving for..guess what???.. hmm??.. hmm??.. chinese!! gotcha didn't ya?? u thought i'd say "egg chicken roll" right?? lol..anyhoo..so i've actually downloaded too much n dunno where to start watching..n even tho sum ppl r like "omg m sooo jealous..u have no right to complain"..n yea i guess i dont..but still..i hav sooo many animes to watch now..not to mention all those normal movies n series as well..at least once i get back to kol, i won't be able to say m bored anymore..lol..

n oh! oh! i read this awsum yaoi manga this morning..totally made me go "ahhhhhh"..which was kinda weird coz the maid was cleaning n i had to constantly be aware so that the lappy window was turned away from her view coz of the err..u knw..rampant abundant hot smexing going on :P..anyway this just was a 5 chapter manga but soo made my palms tingle (for ppl who dnt knw..my "palms tingling" means that i absolutely love the whatever it is that set them tingling..its like the epitome of "love" for me)..n then there was "kimi ni todoke", a new airing anime whose 2nd ep just came out yesterday..my palms were kinda sore last night coz of all the tingling that went on what with that anime n all the gintama doujins i read plus hana-kimi (which even tho m re-reading, still gives me the tingles)..

well then i guess thats the story of my life right now..soo much to watch n soo little time..n m scheduled to receive even more in the next few weeks..waahhh!! when will i finish them all!!!!

toodly doo then!!

ps: is it just me or was the jiraiya fight actually this long n complicated in the manga (the part before he enters sennin mode i mean)??..i need to go back n read these chapters n the itachi's death ones too..completely forgot..n again is it just me or did the art n animation get like awsumly better this week too?? O_O

a month of firsts..

2009-09-27T12:01:00.000+05:30

september of 2009..an unforgettable month..there was just soo much crammed into these 30 days..has to be the most eventful n most memorable month this year, if not ever..

this was the month i became "deboleena mitra, advocate" instead of just plain "deboleena mitra"..this was the month i started wearing the gown n band n going to court not just as another intern..this was the month when i accepted my first vakalatnama..filing my first case..winning my first case..first time praying for time before a judge n almost choking at the first try coz of nerves..first time getting over the nerves n learning that i have an actual "voice" as opposed to the "squeak" i had made earlier..first time arguing before a judge without a safety net (ergo joy sir) and winning (n my legs were literally shaking the entire time!!)..first time getting squished into 2D in court 5 during the last min puja rush..first time coming back home at night feeling like my legs would fall off but waking up in the morning n going at it again..n the first time getting my actual "khoon paseene ki kamai" :P

also the first time i came to kgp after such a long time n didnt go out to meet a single person..made a few frnds quite mad in the process i guess..the first time in years that we celebrated moms bday with a homemade cake n all..again a first that i m in bengal n havnt gone out to see pujas properly yet..but even so its the first puja that has been so totally n completely fruitful (really properly leeched off the iit lan..n god its more awsum than before!!!!!..lol)

n even tho there r a few days left still (among which will be the first time id meet up with ghosty n not go to hatari!!) which may or may not make it a more memorable month, all in all it was by far the best month of the year!..i just hope it gets better n better frm now on..touchwood.. :P

anyhoo..gotta get back to watching all that iv leeched till now lest i end up with shortage of space XD
toodlio fr now..

girl or woman??

2009-09-22T21:37:00.001+05:30

remember that poem we had in one of our english papers in school about whether the poet is a girl or a woman??..not a girl not yet a woman or sumthg like that..the poem goes into all sorts of details abt the behaviour of the poet n her family..her feelings n wat not..very complicated apparently..anyway i was suddenly reminded of this girl-woman dilemma in a bus the other day when while getting off the conductor said sumthg like "bedhe dao..ladies nambe"..n i suddenly realised that i've finally outgrown being referred to as "bachcha"!!! so i guess for me the turning point would be..when a bus conductor for the first time referred to me as "ladeej" instead of "bachcha"..n sadly enuf i dnt even remember the first time that happened..tch tch..

ps: this is wat happens if m sitting bored at work!!!

i want a roomie like hugh jackman..

2009-09-14T01:20:00.000+05:30

no seriously one shud really see "sumone like u" for all the awsum hotness of this gorgeous gorgeous hunk of a guy being paraded around in all his half-naked glory..a lottttt!!! (yummmmmmyyyyyyy)..godddddd..its like my ovaries went "doki doki" in there :P..anyhoo..crap movie..or mayb i jst wasnt in the mood..but his presence made up for a lot of it..i soo wish i were in ashley judd's shoes..err..apartment!!

hmmm..cow theories n crap..sumhow now i feel like having sum beef..actually some ham wud do..its been soooo long since i had pork n now that m earning, i gotta save up for stuff like that so its gonna b at least till dec or so that id b able to splurge that much n go "mehhh" abt it..hehe..

oh n ya..i hav this sudden inexplicable urge to make out with sum hot guy at a sidewalk some rainy night or afternoon..weird huh??..so if ur a hot guy walking down the street in cal sumtime tomm n it starts raining n u see this girl walking/driving past u licking her lips n salivating slightly..she's probably me..behaving like the true blue mb hero that i am inside.. :P

toodlie doo!!

happiness..

2009-09-08T16:59:00.001+05:30

it was a gorgeous rainy afternoon, if you go for those kinda days..had been pouring all day..really cold..i normally do not like excessively rainy days..just makes me feel all "romantic" (read moody n depressed..hehe)..mostly id feel like staying in, ordering some food and watching fluffy yaoi stuff all day cosy in bed to shake off the bad feeling..but today that was not to be..

on the way back from court, as we were driving past victoria memorial (which btw luks awwwwsummm wen its all wet..especially against the backdrop of a dark grey sky), it suddenly struck me..i was happy..like actually truly happy..lessee..i can now introduce myself as a "practising criminal lawyer of the calcutta high court"..i have just started earning for real..finally started wearing the gown n band in court..can actually be useful..have gotten cases of my own..u knw, like with my name in the vakalatnama..its an amazing feeling..and then there was a really nice song playing on the radio..normally id feel all blue that i was alone n stuff..but not today..maybe it was the impromptu biryani lunch we had (yummmm!!!)..or maybe it was that it just got through to me that things were going right in my life..that the huge gamble i had taken in college was really paying off..a feeling that this is what i was made for..a sense of belonging..

im probably rambling too much..but it was like i had this one moment when it suddenly became dazzlingly clear that this is what my life is gonna be like..as in, all those times when id be thinking n imagining as to what kinda life id have n sumhow it wud feel like my life was always gonna start sumtime in future..i guess it hit me now..this is my life..this is it!..i am a lawyer and i am practising..of course i hav a huuuuge way to go before i actually become any good..but i've started..my life has started..n it was very clear to me right then that i had actually pretty much gotten everything i wanted..im staying alone (which is to say that i go for work in the morning n cum bak at abt 11-11.30 at night, sumhow eat sumthg, finish any pending work n then crash..life is truly too busy to be "alone" really..the only time i even feel like i hav time to miss frnds n all is like a few hours snatched during the weekends if m lucky..i actually truly dunno how ppl manage to hav bfs or get married n stuff while maintaining a life like this..where on earth do u get the time????)..n i hav this amaaaaazziinngg job that i luuuurrrvvv..its an added bonus that my boss n colleagues r totally pally..complete sweethearts with mile long funny bones..hehe..then..i just luv kolkata..i have like the best lappy evah!..plus everyones a foodie in chamber which makes it that much easier for me to hog in front of them..its like i cudnt ask for anything more..except maybe a trip to japan..n thats covered as well if this guy keeps this promise he made a few days back!!

i guess even tho sumtimes i feel a bit sad that my frnds r not in the same city, all the gr8 things that r attached to kolkata would not have happened if id followed the crowd n gone to delhi or mumbai..joyda asked me sumtime back whether i liked college better or work better n was appalled wen i said i preferred work..i guess it is hard to comprehend since i pretty much had a 5-yr vacation back in univ n had probably broken all records for laziness..it would be hard to imagine that i actually wud wanna "work" at all..but then the first day u step inside the court room..its like u can hear a "ding! ding! ding!" going on inside your head telling u that this is the right answer..n thats it..

anyhoo..that was just a bit of a random ramble..spur of the moment thing..as i was thinking it all, i just knew that this wud have to be written..as incomprehensible as it is..

toodles for now..

of media trials and too much scrubs..

2009-08-29T20:33:00.000+05:30

it's weird how every time i have some serious work to do, i always feel sleepy and/or bloggy..and it is even more weird that i am sounding just like jd inside my head instead of like me..i can even see "me" as jd inside my head!!!! too much scrubs..too much scrubs!!!!

anyhoo..to get back on point..me and my work..aksar don't do much baatein..sadly enough, that has ended..and i am to write a speech on "trial by media" for a seminar..which is perfectly coolio n all that..really nice topic and i actually know what it means (unlike a certain numbnut in chamber who looked so blankly at me when i said it that it was physically painful not to go and bang his head against some wall..oh the day i get to see his blood and excessive white matter go splat on the walls..ahhh that will be the day)..ahem ahem..getting back again..cool topic except that it has to be original..and that is mighty hard given that i am a trained robot who can ccp and footnote perfectly but chokes when it comes to writing from the heart..tho even that wouldn't be so much of a problem if it had not been for the person who i am writing it for..he's a bloody genius and i am literally shaking in my boots to write something that will actually not make him a laughing stock..so now here i am..researching like i had never researched in college before (and that includes the "research paper" last sem that i researched the hell outta..uhh..not really..but came quite close tho..uhh..not really..never mind..and now i am sounding like a bored cox inside my head..oh puhleeze i need to stop watching scrubs marathons every time i feel the urge to watch something english)..and he actually sits and listens intelligently while i stammer n stutter and tell him about this point and that (ok no..i am actually quite eloquent about it..but inside i am a quiverring mass of jelly!)..and then we sit and intelligently discuss the topic..bounce around some ideas..aaaaaannnndddd i am left with no clue as to how to put it all on paper..it's like he knows everything already..why on earth does he need me to write it all down and give him actual proof that my researching skills equal that of a 12-year old on internet-crack?? (well so ok maybe i'm not thaaaaat bad..but in front of him, 12-year old is actually a compliment!!)

well then, that about sums up my mood..i have like a tonne of really awsome manga i just downloaded..but m stuck with a bit fat book in my hands and a study-induced coma coming along..

toodles.. TT_TT

ps: i get the idea that i put way too much stuff in b/w these () than in the actual topic..and drift off way too much..did that always happen or is it scrubs-induced..hmmm..i wonder..

edit: it's past 1 am now..pepperoni and jap stuff always hit the spot..so do calls from old friends..you just made my night :)

harry potter and the sheer awesomeness of the utter crap that the 6th movie was..

2009-08-01T11:09:00.000+05:30

i didnt ever particularly like any of the other potter movies, but my god this just reached new levels of crap!!..even watching the 5th one in hindi was better than this!! (n lemme tell u, that one was sooooo bad i actually cried a lil inside)..considering that the 6th book was pretty damn good and had quite a bit of story in it, the movie on the other hand had absolutely nothing..its actually quite rare to butcher a book this badly..probably even bollywood would have made a better adaptation of it..even when i watched it without any expectations whatsoever, it still managed to disappoint..

disjointed bits and pieces of plot from the book..tied up with random bits of snogging all over the place..n sum fancy effects..n thats about it..no character..no real plot..not dark or sinister like the book kinda hinted at..not even funny..just basically nothing..i actually had to read the book just to get the bad taste out of my mouth..what a complete waste of time..i shudder to think what will be done with the 7th book!!

untitled..??

2009-07-19T13:51:00.001+05:30

i love my life!!

ps: honeymoon phase sooooo rules :P

pps: i really need to get back to this..but everytime i think i'll write sumthg, i feel like i dunno where to start..soo much has happened and soo much has changed that i really dunno how i could cram it all in sumhow..or mayb i just shudnt bothr n start afresh..guess that suits the lazy me to a "t".. :P

pps: i miss butchering crappy movies with my frnds..these days its too frustrating to watch good movies sumhow..lol..plus i miss the unique "twist" we wud give to every story (mads n ananya if ur reading this..i really really miss the way we "interpreted" rock on n lagann n all :P)..waaahhhhh!! i miss being lalala with u guys..y oh y rnt v havin our convo in august!!!!!!!!!

pppps: toodles then.. ^__^

holy cow!

2009-04-22T03:35:00.002+05:30

"India to launch cow urine as soft drink"

i mean seriously..

O_O

|
|
V

clicky clicky!!

tatoeba no hanashi

2009-02-20T04:54:00.000+05:30

"friends..we were..best friends..even before i knew that i had one..or even wanted one..more like..he was my only friend..i didnt even feel the need to make any more frnds..stupid??..i went to school all day..went out to play in the evenings..there were always ppl there..classmates..neighbours..we laughed..talked..had fun..but not one did i consider as a "friend"..they were just ppl who were there..like props wich come with the set of a play..they werent the actors..and anyway the play hadnt even started yet..it was still at the stage of the dress rehearsal..

the day he was gone..i thot he was late..thats all.."late"..simple..i didnt worry..i never once thot that anything was wrong..or could go wrong..and then suddenly it did go wrong..horribly terribly "wrong"..it wasnt that my worst fears were realised..coz i never even had such a fear in the first place..it was weird..so weird..but..it was fine..i didnt think it really mattered that much..just one person was gone..shudnt make so much of a difference..i think it was then that i realised the mistake of never making "friends"..it was hard starting over again..i didnt want to..i was just too lazy..it was supposed to all happen somehow..naturally..like with him..but it didnt..i didnt look at other ppl n feel the same..i cudnt..i didnt think he had so much in him..i found bits n pieces in other ppl..but never a "whole"..

how do you get over someone??..i never really thought about it..i wudnt need to..n i wudnt want to..n anyway how dus one get over sumone wen theres nthg really to get over..aftr all wat m i supposed to "get over"??..n u cant get over someone who is ur life..who has been with u so much that u didnt even realise that he was a separate being..wen sumone is just there..and then suddenly not there..thats just it..he's not there..thats all..how do u get over that missing piece of ur life??..wen u notice that that sumone is missing..that mad scramble to find him..find anything who would "fit" there..and then finally wen uv made ur peace with it, something reminds u that theres something wich ur forgetting..and ur back again trying to plug in that hole..

i've never "loved" a person..but that was probably the closest i ever got to it..having a world where only one other person is allowed in..something that special..must surely be something like that elusive feeling..and the feeling of being utterly alone when that person is gone..that must be true despair i thought..everything went on as before.."friends" came n went..like pens u use and throw and then buy new ones..just that..he was like a pen which suddenly went out of stock..and no other pen would write as well as that did..u dnt get over someone like that..u mayb find a pen wich writes well..but its never the same pen..and once uv used such a pen, u can never forget wat it felt like..ur forced to use other pens coz well life must go on..n u need pens in ur life..but that one pen wud always b special..n ud never realise how much u depended on it till it gets stolen the day of ur exam.."

"Some people say that you don't know what you have until you lose it, but it's not always like that. You always know what you have. You just never thought you would lose it.."

it's true..

musings..ramblings..whatever..

2009-01-28T23:15:00.001+05:30

ahh been sooo long since i last did this (n i say this every time i blog..lol)..wish i had some really awesome pearls of wisdom to share or a gr8 opinion on some topic of hot debate of recent times..demo yappari atashi nanka muri..zettai dekinai..which reminds me, its also been sooo long since i had random awkward jap chats with fellow jap-crazed ppl..left almost all the forums i used to frequent..only keep in touch thru MAL n that too only when i update the list of whatever i watch these days..which also will continue only till a few months more at max..and then would be sayonara to my alter-ego on these sites..ahhh makes me feel really sad to be parting with my love of so many years..dunno how i'll survive without my daily yaoi fixes (i almost die every vacation..its a real sight to see me tearing into them once m back from hols..lol)..and i can't even rant about it to ppl i know coz most would not know what it was about n the ones who have even remotely heard of it would probably never look at me the same way if they found out about my weird cravings..even now i guess its only rava-san who really understands what i feel when i go all @_@ about sasunaru even tho he probably wishes i never bring it up again :P

i read this one liner this morning which totally cracked me up..

"friends share your passions..real friends share your perversions.."

mads, ananya n me had a hearty laugh over it at breakfast this morning..about how we all are such huge perverts..but then it got me to thinking..about how only a small fraction of my "real friends" even know about all my perversions, let alone share them..i guess i am most free amongst the ones here at univ and yes they do understand and share most of my pet pervs..but there are these other few ppl online who know this total other jap-crazed side of me and understand it so much better than anyone here ever could..and them i don't even consider as "real" friends since they don't even know my real name and only know me as some crazy chick (n some might nt even know i'm a girl!) behind a weird profile name..but yes they know way more about certain perversions than anyone i have ever met..so is it weird that my so-called real friends don't know everything about me?..i probably unconsciously n instinctively follow a need-to-know rule among friends..if you brought every one of my friends together n asked them all about me, you'd still end up around 20% short..is that weird??..is everyone else like that too or am i the only one who thinks so much and compartmentalises everyone so that not one person knows me fully??..does that mean i don't trust anyone and hence, i have not really truly accepted anyone as my friend??..or can you even call someone a true friend or, for that matter, a "best friend" (i never could figure out the progression from being a normal/random friend to a good friend to a best friend anyway..but that's another discussion) if that person doesn't even know you fully??

tho i do think i am right in my own way..coz different ppl would react differently..and its not fair to just dump "myself" on certain people who i know would never get me..for example, i know for sure that there are some of my friends who would be scandalised sh*tless if they came to know even 10% about me..then there would be those who would still remain friends, but would probably always wonder if i am secretly an axe murderer or something (n m sure they would be the ones who would not get this joke either!)..and then of course would be the real gr8 ones who would gradually get "converted" by me (a huuge guilt trip for me every time i think of that) and hence come to share at least a few of my perversions..so are they the only "real" friends i have??..hmm..i wonder.....
...
.....
.......
.........
...........
.............
...........
.........
.......
.....
...
ummm..so no i don't actually wonder..but..i needed something to fill this blog so i wrote it anyway..hehe..or actually it just kinda wrote itself..so maybe this means i do wonder..or at least that i wondered for the duration of time it took me to write this..lol..wow i must b really jobless to b wondering about whether i wondered!! :D

well im quite satisfied with how this post turned out..nice n mental..hehe..so toodles for now..n lets hope i get enough material to satisfy enough of my "urges" n "hungers" before i leave the univ for my dreary empty adult life.. ^_^

Life is good..

2009-01-17T00:27:00.002+05:30

..but death is AWESOME!!!!

Code Geass R2..The end of an era..All Hail Lelouch!!!!

2008-09-30T00:35:00.006+05:30

thats it..the end of a masterpiece..even if i had been having doubts post lulu turned into a rabid emperor-wannabe mid-series (painful reminders of death note mid to end T_T), this last episode made everything better and sooo way way more..exceeded my wildest imaginations to turn out the most beautiful anime ending in history (well maybe except for fma..but now thats getting a 2nd season, so dusnt really count!)..truly a most magnificent ending to a magnificent series..i was half fearing another cliffy a la season 1 and a 3rd season or ovas after this..never expected everything to be wrapped up so well in just one episode..or actually in the last 10 mins or so, where it went beyond awesomeness to like the realm of total divine godliness (that probably made no sense :P)

i truly have never cried so much for an anime character than i did for lulu (not even close to my almost non-existent tears for light..like him as i did, for me he died along with L..and not even as much as for kamina in ttgl..and he was like total gar!..plus it came as a complete shock..most unexpected death evah!)..and im not even a lulu fangirl to begin with..plus i was always continually disgusted with either (or all) suzaku, kallen, nunnally, rolo, shirley, villetta..not to mention euphie..and how on earth could i forget nina..she tops my hate-list in both seasons..thats like reallll hate!!..first season shes a useless git who does certain things off certain ppl's pictures (no matter that "certain ppl" r also on my hate list) and second season she makes something a million times worse than the atom bomb, hands it to the enemy and expects it not to be used and actually has the cheek to be shocked that it wiped out an entire city..i mean wow woman, were u dreaming when u made this thing????..plus weird no-memories-cc..she was a pain in a lottt of places..and all this not even counting all the minor characters!!..and that too only for being totally and completely useless/spineless/wimpy/sucky characters who indulged in pointless screaming matches when they should really be trying to fly those huge mechas and kill the enemy rather than chattering away to glory!..charles and schneizel (and later..marriane) for being terribly poor anti-anti-heroes if nothing else..also ones gotta admit that dear orange-kun was there only to serve as the comic content..till the very end in fact (cant blv they actually made orange-kun pick oranges!!!..hehe..lol..lol..really..lol)..so the only people i was left with any respect for by the end of it were cornelia (and that knight of hers), actual-original-pizza-hogging-with-code-and-totally-tsundere cc and the gr8 mass of awesomeness known as lelouch lamperouge..and well after the last episode, to a certain extent, suzaku..not as zero tho coz lulu will always rule as that (yes..even after death..or coded..or however he is now)..

so anyway my point is that even tho i totally hated the characters, was frustrated with how the story was going mid-series and was seriously expecting something worse than light's fate in death note, that last episode just went and killed me..so i am now reborn as a total lulu fangirl who has actually gone and downloaded and read every lulusuza doujin scanlated (sadly not that many tho) and is happily reading every new fanfic gracing ff.net post ep 25 (some of them are really beautifully written)..and all in the space of the scant few hours since watching the last ep and with my awesomely sucky net speed..and did i mention that i've got the ost on repeat..and can't stop tearing up a little every time i hear "continued story" (now more so after iv heard it during the epilogue thingy)..kinda like how i reacted to "innocent days" and "stories" after the 1st season..just that then i was really sad about lulu guilting himself over our dear massacre princess..and now im just sad..period..

but i am so so soooo glad that the ending turned out like it did..if only death note had ended that way, with light's death not so pathetic and actually planned out by him..coz he does leave the world a better place, tho that kinda takes 2nd place while hes shown to b oh so happy being a megalomaniac to the end..while lulu is just awesome how he sacrifices himself for the greater gud..those last few scenes couldn't have been any better any way i think of it..leaving the way he did.."zero requiem"..was just perfect..i just hope that whats goin around on the geass forums is correct and that hes actually in cc's world..inherited the code from charles and became immortal after suzaku "killed" him..or else that ending scene and the whole point behind the lyrics of the song and cc's words is just not there..but even if lulu really died then at suzaku's hand..its still no less perfect..i guess that was the only time that i actually felt bad for suzaku (n thats saying something coz i was most coldhearted during the euphie death scene..hehe)..having to kill your best friend, especially after uv finally gotten over all ur issues of him killing ur girl n deceiving the world into thinkin shes a mass murderer, etc etc blah blah..and to carry on being zero..has to fill some really huuuge shoes there poor kid..

anyway..no point me ranting here like this..considering the ppl who read this blog (if any!), do not watch animes..and have certainly not watched this and will understand not even a single word of it..unless of course i can get ananya to watch it and then go all "wheeee lets discuss the awsum ending"..which will take a lotta time..hehe..but this was just sooo epic that i just had to write about it..lets hope one day i can read it myself and laugh at how weird n lulu-luvin i was..hehe..

sore ja!
mata ne!!

ps: like sumone said..im gonna miss geass monday mornings :P..ahh well i just hope vampire knight guilty is gud n junjou romantica even half as gr8 as the manga..plus hueco mundos almost back!!

i have no idea why i am even hitting the publish button for this crap!

2008-09-02T22:21:00.002+05:30

so here i am..dead tired n sleepy..just back from a movie and dinner outing ("rock on" was ok.."crossroads" was passable)..waiting for a manga to get downloaded so i can go die on my bed for the night (yes i did mean to type "die"..not "lie"..it's not a typo!)..and well so i was just cleaning out my bookmarks and chanced upon all my friends blogs..reminded me that even i used to write sumthg sumtime..habit's totally gone now tho..ever since i actually grasped the reality of my impending graduation - which in my book reads as "sayonara jap stuff" - i have been finishing off stuff at an alarming rate..anime..manga..doujins..movies..u name it, im doin it!..the same i - who detested downloading stuff coz it cluttered up my comp..and who is famous for beating even kumbhkarna when it cums to sleeping - am actually waking up at 5 am to download stuff!! (in case ppl r getting ideas here, its just coz our dear darling internet connection cums on then..im pretty sure i wudnt hav bothered had v nt had net restrictions)..it's just hit me that i don't even have a whole year in which to watch stuff..and that i wudnt b able to follow anime n manga as they cum out in japan from the next spring season..ergo bye-bye fma 2 T_T

my life as i know it is gonna b over..and i am not quite sure that the life i will be acquiring will be anythg to my taste, let alone be as awesome as im used to..and now that people are gettin placed right n left, n my only (and quite lonely) refrain is "litigation", "oh shit!" (and certain variations thereof) has become quite a regular in my vocab..

anyway, so 70% of the download is dun..sumthg wich wud hav normally taken 5-10 mins is now dragging on for years coz of our awesum net wich just has to try n surprise us every time with its amaaaazing lows..however, i find myself unable to drag my fingers over the keyboard any more, and very strongly think that i shud desist before i start spouting embarrassing nonsense (as opposed to my regular nonsense)..

so..cheerios!

ps: i like to criticise..which is to say i like bitching abt stuff but think its way cooler n awesum to call it sumthg more fancy and formal! (and i hav no idea why i included it here)

thought for the day: "of talk..or the lack of it.."

2008-05-08T04:06:00.002+05:30

what do i talk about..nothing really..anytime anyone asks me "hi..wassup??", my one standard answer would always be "nothing"..or variations thereof..or if there's a lull in the conversation and the dreaded "wat else" comes to be asked..again the same answer is provided..however its more often than not found that i remain chatting with people for hours on end..talking about this very same "nothing"..right now too jst got off the phone..spent more than 200 bucks calling up sum guy (who'll kill me if he reads this n sees himself addressed as merely "sum guy"..lol)..and i really can't point out what amazing conversation we conducted for the past 2.5-3 odd hours..but i wasn't bored for a second of it..tho i cant say that it was stuff of legends either..it was just..something..guess its the same with chats..i chat all night with people on conversations wich start out as both of us having nthg to convey..and end up as god knows what..my record being more than 10 hours at a stretch talking to this guy who till that time id never spoken to in my life and had just added coz he was an ex-classmate..i hav no idea how the time passed but pass it did..and it was amazing how i could actually talk of completely inconsequential things for what amounted to half a day straight!!

its weird coz i know exactly how much i can actually contribute to an active conversation..before long the "aar ki" phenomenon comes along..every single time..and i am very conscious of the fact that i actually have nothing i wanna say..but somewhere down the line i realise its hours later and im still speaking to the person..and its not like he/she is the only one speaking and im just keeping mum and nodding along..i realise im speaking too, tho god knows how and on what!!

its truly mystifying..

just a lil sumthing..

2008-03-31T02:59:00.001+05:30

was jst browsing thru the lil bits n pieces of creativity i am apt to pen down n forget all about..the following is one such *thing*..dunno what to call it..a poem it is not..nor is it prose..just a few lines..frankly don't even remember writing it..truthfully most of my most weird poems n ficlets get written when m half asleep..ones which i look at the next day n go "ehhh..where did that come from??"..hehe..anyway so this piece is obviously incomplete..more so since i removed a few really dumb n mb-ish lines :P..jst a few haphazard thoughts..dunno why i even wrote it..gets weirder every time i read it..but i dnt think il actually ever get to finishing it or adding anythg of substance..n i kinda like how weird n abrupt it sounds..hehe..and its not as short as a few of the others..so here goes..crappy as it is..suggestions for a title most welcome..

you were the puzzle i couldn't solve..
the question i had no answer for..

you were the drug i craved..
the smoke swirling in my lungs..

you were the words of my poems..
the melody to my songs..

you were a dream i chased after..
forever the prince charming of my fairytale..

my happiness..sadness..pain..joy..
everything was you..

you were the love of my life..
my heart..soul..reason for being..
always..

james marsden is THE bomb

2008-03-16T01:21:00.003+05:30

dunno why i never noticed it before..not like i didn't like him b4..he was an amazing cyclops..n the few other movies i saw him in, he looked pretty nice too..in a very nice eye-candy way too..but tonight he like blew me away..been a looong time since that happened..n that too with a non-jap guy..reminded me of my "hugh jackman almost-obsession" phase..lol..but wow..james marsden is just sooooooo hotttt..n his smile..aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh *insert fu-chan dream drool phase*..the movie was inconsequential.."27 dresses"..sweet sappy mb story..nthg to write home about..but goddd the guy is sooo hottttt!!

so yeah suffice to say that m back in my girly phase fr now at least..drooling n gushing on abt a hot guy..soo understand mads state at dinner tonite..hehe..well..since right now the only thing thats occupying my mind is this hot hot hottt guy n nthg bloggable is likely to take shape..guess shud b signing off fr now..

sheeya!!
toodle dee do!! *_*

"lullaby for lawyers"

2008-03-13T18:21:00.000+05:30

so well i jst heard this song.."lullaby for lawyers"..have no idea why its called that tho..no lawyer would wanna sleep with that on..lol..anyway so once ghosty so kindly serenaded for me in class today, i just had to give it a shot..n wow..laughed sooo hard almost fell off the chair..its got like the most amaaaaazzziiiinnggg lyrics..no really..mind blowing lyrics..one can actually *feel* what the lyricist felt towards lawyers..hehe..such depth of emotion..left me speechless..literally.. :P

i might jst edit this post later if i upload the song on imeem..but its jst the lyrics fr now..priceless in itself..enjoy!

~ Lullaby for Lawyers ~

There are rats there are bats
There are stinky mangy cats
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
There are weasels there are skunks
There are bandits there are punks
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their quips and their quiddities
Their fees and their contingencies...

There are lice there are mice
There are lots of things not nice
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their 'res ipso locuter'
And their 'respondeat superior'
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.

There's thrombosis, halitosis
And there's diverticulosis
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
Diarrhea, gonorrhea and seborrhea
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their proximate causes and their escape clauses
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.

With "affirmative defenses" - I
would rather see a dentist.

There are rats there are bats
There are stinky mangy cats
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
There are weasels there are skunks
There are bandits there are punks
But the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.
With their quips and their quiddities
Their fees and their contingencies
Yes the worst thing in the world is a lawyer.

of shoujo mangas..fangirling..n "brat'ya" >__<

2008-03-04T20:40:00.003+05:30

heyy..me back..n again dnt feel like writing anythg in particular..been havin this rare girly phase..snapping up loads of these shoujo mangas..not to mention smexy bl ones :P..fell totally in luv with "meru puri"..i really like how hino matsuri draws her characters.."wanted" n "vampire knight" too (cant wait for the vk anime..wish they'd animate merupuri too..that wud jst make my day)..love how she draws the guys..reminded me of "tokyo revelations" kamui n syaoran..tho no its not like clamp of course..they have their own unique style which again i love (speakin of trc..cant wait for the last ova ep..jst a few more days left now..kuroxfay goodness galore!!)..anyway so read lots n lots..restarted ouran manga too..n suddenly found myself reading up ouran fanfics..apparantly m partial to kyouyaxharuhi..cant help it since kyouya is by far my fav x'ter frm ouran..puppy-eyes-tamaki n the others r cute n fun of course..but kyouya......theres just sumthg about him.. there i go drooling ovr sum bishi again..lol..

so well..been listening to loads of music too (goes with the reading i guess)..went bak to sum of my old favs..n hav i mentioned how much i luuuuuv the fma ost??..especially "brat'ya" (brothers)..russian song..n well tho i hav nooo idea why they'd bring in russian stuff since theres like nthg connecting the anime to russia..but the song is jst so damn gorgeous..always gets me teared up a bit..its just sooooo suited to fma..even if uv never heard it b4, u can jst see the lyrics n go "ahhh..fma??"..so anyway..here are the lyrics..

~ Brat'ya ~

Prosti menya, mladshiy brat!
Ya tak pred toboy vinovat.
Pyitatsya vernut' nyelzya
Togo, chto vzyala zyemlya.

Kto znayet zakon Byitiya,
Pomog byi mne nayti otvet.
Zhestoko oshibsya ya;
Ot smerti lekarstva nyet.

Milaya mama! Nyezhnaya!
Myi tak lyubili tebya.
No vse nashi silyi
Potrachenyi byili zrya.

Tebya soblaznil ya
Prekrasnoy nadezhdoy
Vernut' nash semeynyiy ochag.
Moy brat, ya vo vsem vinovat.

Nye plach', nye pechal'sya, starshiy brat!
Nye tyi odin vinovat.
Doroga u nas odna,
Iskupim vinu do dna.

Mnye nye v chem tebya upreknut'.
I ya nye obihen nichut'.
Tyazhek, nash gryekh
Khotet' byit' silneye vsekh.

Milaya mama! Nyezhnaya!
Myi tak lyubili tebya.
No vse nashi silyi
Potrachenyi byili zrya.

Ya sam soblaznilsya
Prekprasnoy nadezhdoy
Vernut' nash semeinyiy ochag.
Ya sam vo vsem vinovat.

No chto zhe nam delat', kak byit'?
Kak vse ispravit', zyabyit'?
Pyitat'sya vernut' nyel'zhya,
Togo, chto vzyala zyemlya.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Brothers ~

Forgive me, little brother
I am to be blamed.
It's forbidden to try to return
One taken by the earth.

The one who knows the law of existence
Could help me to find the answer.
I made a terrible mistake
There's no cure for death.

Dear mother, sweet mother!
We loved you so much.
But all our efforts
Were spent in vain.

I tempted you
With the wonderful hope
Of returning our home.
My brother, it's all my fault.

Don't cry, don't be sad, big brother.
You're not the only guilty one.
There's only one road before us,
We will purge our sins completely.

I cannot blame you.
I am not hurt at all.
Grievous is our sin
To desire to be stronger than anybody.

Dear mother, sweet mother!
We loved you so much.
But all our efforts
Were spent in vain.

I too was tempted
With the wonderful hope
Of returning our home.
I'm guilty for all of it.

But what should we do, how should we be?
How to fix everything, to forget?
It's forbidden to try to return
One taken by the earth.

well thats all folks..
toodles..noodles..poodles!! ^_^ (ftntd. rava)

rules of anime!!

2008-02-21T17:32:00.001+05:30

just found this on some forum..quite old actually..read it lots of times..never fails to bring out a chuckle..anyway so well it goes out to all the people who actually know wat they refer to n will laugh from actual memory..n to all those who go "ehhh??..u watch wat??"..well heres a tonneload of reasons more to laugh at what i sooo luuuurrvvvv watching then..lol..have fun peepli!!

~ 93 Rules of Anime ~

(yeah used to be 100..but then i removed all the hentai ones..so this is it..XD)

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity - The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation - Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone's cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics - In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion - In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion - The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability - Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality - "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
Note: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain's suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality - It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis - Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10 - Law of Dramatic Multiplicity - Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11 - Law of Inherent Combustibility - Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12 - Law of Phlogistatic Emission - Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13 - Law of Energetic Emission - There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14 - Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude - The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15 - Law of Inexhaustibility - No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16 - Laws of Inverse Accuracy - The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary - The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit.

#17 - Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability - Minimei is a bimbo.
(Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18 - Law of Hemoglobin Capacity - The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19 - Law of Demonic Consistency - Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. *Also, acid has been known to work just as well...

#20 - Law of Militaristic Unreliability - Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
First Corollary - Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21 - Law of Tactical Unreliability - Tactical geniuses aren't...

#22 - Law of Inconsequential Undetectability - People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23 - Law of Juvenile Intellectuality - Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying.

#24 - Law of Americanthromorphism - Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary - Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys".

#25 - Law of Mandibular Proportionality - The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26 - Law of Feline Mutation - Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female.
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
c) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27 - Law of Conservation of Firepower - Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28 - Law of Technological User-Benevolence - The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29 - Law of Melee Luminescence - Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30 - Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism - All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31 - Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability - Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32 - Law of Follicular Permanence - Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33 - Law of Cute Mascots - Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary - If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because:
a) It's his girlfriend's.
b) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
c) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary - If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil' mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
a) It's her boyfriend's.
b) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
c) It makes her look cool.

#34 - Law of Probable Attire - Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don't hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence) - The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35 - Law of Musical Omnipotence - Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they've never attempted these things before.

#36 - Law of Quintupular Agglutination - Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His Girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
a) Extreme Coolness
b) Amazing Intelligence
c) Incredible Irritation

#37 - Law of Extradimensional Capacitance - All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38 - Law of Hydrostatic Emission - Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39 - Law of Inverse Attraction - Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary - Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40 - Law of Nasal Sanguination - When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41 - Law of Xylolaceration - Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42 - Law of Juvenile Omnipotence - Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43 - Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia - There is no Law #43.

#44 - Law of Nominative Clamovocation - the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45 - Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis - Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46 - Law of Flimsy Incognition - Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47 - Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission - All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48 - Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism - If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won't have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary - When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49 - Law of Female wrath - If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today's society. (>Sniff Sniff< style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"> #50 - Law of Artistic Perversion - Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51 - Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation - This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they've seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")

#52 - Law of Telepathic Obliviousness - Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO'S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are:
a) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
b) They just don't give a damn.

The reasons the telepathic person doesn't react are:
a) They're preoccupied with doing something else.
b) They'd rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
c) They just don't give a damn.

#53 - Law of Chromatic Diversity - Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54 - Law of Old Man Comic Relief - Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary - If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

#55 - Law of the Wise Old Man - Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56 - Law of Omnipotent Unreliability - Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. First Corollary - All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
b) The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57 - Law of Minimum Corneal Volume - Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face's total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58 - Law of Electrical Charges in Hair - Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look.
b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59 - Law of Ammunition Accuracy - When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

#60 - Law of Active Female Attraction - In a comedy series, a male character's attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn't get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)

#61 - Law of Sweat Pore Variability - When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62 - The Law of Inverse Training Time - A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63 - Law of Needs to Few and Many - The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

#64 - Law of Bad Humor - Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65 - Law of Extreme Anger - Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy's face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66 - Law of Differentiated Gravitation -
First Corollary - If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary - The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67 - Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy's" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy's" Style Coefficient.

#68 - Law of Coercive Vehicular Control - No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary - Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary - It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character's consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69 - Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy's" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70 - Law of The Rushing Background Effect - Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

#71 - Law of Interdimensional Hammers - Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

#72 - Law of Instant Band-Aids - Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character's next scene.

#73 - Law of Universal Edge Defense - Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74 - Law of Intractable Sanity - There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and exposition]),
b) Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75 - Law of Celestial Body Control - At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76 - Law of Aura of Forgetfulness - Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77 - Law of Cool Hair Factor - The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 & 48)

#78 - Law of Inverse Coping - Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

#79 - Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability - The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn't work in real life...

#80 - Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics - If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain's cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81 - Law of Shades/Coolness Factor - Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you're normally a klutz.

#82 - Law of Sparklies - Whenever a character of the main character's interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is.

#83 - Law of Understatement - Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. First Corollary - Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that's impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84 - Law of Dormant Powers - Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85 - Law of Style Coefficient - In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86 - Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor - Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they've never won against the "Good Guy" (because they're Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toasted.

#87 - Law of Tableware Nonexistence - There IS no spoon.

#88 - Law of The Force - Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#89 - Law of Cat-Fighting - Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
First Corollary - A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

#90 - Law of Healing - Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#91 - Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics - All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members:
a) The captain
b) His Lieutenant
c) Various female technical staff
d) A hotshot pilot
e) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
f) The Doctor
g) The Doctor's assistant (either a spy or not)

Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
a) Extreme coolness/luck
b) Amazing Intelligence
c) Incredible irritation
d) Extreme cuteness
e) Irresponsible drunkenness
f) Homophobicness
g) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#92 - Law of Hero Identification - All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

#93 - Law of Anime Events - Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

"wait, did that really happen??" pinch "owwww!!..yeah 'tis real alright..so yieeee!!"

2008-02-20T19:46:00.000+05:30

heya peepli!!..m like dancing on air right now..guess why??..i've finally gotten a hold of these few anime series id been looking for..for like ages..n cudnt get it anywhere online..not fast streaming anyway..since they were licenced n veoh blocked out (yeah our univ being the best n all blah blah crap crap)..n rava-san was sweet enough to offer and ACTUALLY live up to it n deliver!!!..all the way across the country..by courier no less..40 gbs of stuff id been dying to watch for years..id really never imagined that sumone would do it just like that..he's either have to be this incredibly sweet n generous guy..or the ultimate baka on earth!!..i hope its the first but does it matter either ways??..n my friends were all like "ehhh..??..u can't trust him..you're soo getting conned..u sure he didnt send u porn??"..n m like wth with that??..porn?? O_o srry but i fail to get why sumone would go to all that trouble n spend bundles to courier me 10 dvds of porn of all things!!!..i mean seriously!!..n wen i told mum that sum "jap freak guy i met on orkut" sent me stuff, she got all concerned n was like he'd turn out to be sum sorta stalker..haha..n i was going..yeah right..like i need to look for one online for that..plenty of those back home anyway..lol..i really don't get why ppl r sooo wary of it..not like he can send me a letter with anthrax or a bomb by mail right??..so wats the big deal??..n if anything untoward were to happen, well blocking ids has always worked quite successfully in the past..n should i really care if he turns out to be some lecherous old 50 year old geezer??..he sent me stuff n thats all that matters right??..wat exactly can a lecherous old guy sitting miles away do anyway??..since its me, its likely hes the one to be ending up on the wrong side of things..lol..anyway..so me got like a huuge load of anime n doramas n jap stuff (yesss..liar game too..finally!!!)..so yieeee japs ftw!!!

jst that for now..lots have happened n lots r happening every day..but me too lazy to be writing it seems..over the "blogging phase" for the time being..right now on a major manga reading spree..read sooo much yaoi that my head is buzzing..n normal ones too..but wat sucks the most is updating mal all the time..n that too wen all the titles aren't even listed..n thats not counting the millions of doujins i've probably read!!!..lol..anyway..been downloading all these amazing jap songs..real songs n not just osts for a change..n could finally listen to them properly while reading..

also..started yet another vid.."mistress deal ~ the sequel~"..cool eh??..hehe..its gonna have allllll our pics..n a full song this time..got suddenly inspired by ananyas midnite bday bash n our consequent dementedness..just needed to get all those pics into a vid asap..sat down an aftee n tried it out..selected the clips..the music..put 'em up n made titles..managed to make an intro sumwat..so 2 mins down..2 to go!!..lessee wen i actually manage to finish it..considering my last one still remains un-captioned..ghosty will kill me for making one about only the three of us..again..n speaking of ghosty..she topped the intras!!..ain't that cool or wat!!..okee i knw that was just a totally random comment..anyway to get back on track..i just wish that sum nice witty captions would pop in my head as i see the pics..but all i do is laugh n think about the times wen we tuk the pics n thats it!!..n m guessing "hehe" or variations of it wouldn't sit well with every pic!!!

well so thats it for now..
jaa ne!! >_<

ps: n speaking of irritating guys (ok so we weren't exactly speaking of that..well now we are..so to continue)..hirak needs to seriously get off his emo angsty high horse..every time he comes online with that sickly sweet hi-hello thing..*shudders*..god wat a gem is wat i think..n have this irresistible urge to smack his face into the ground n say "dirt!!..eat it!!!!" *demented venomous tone* dunno why (ok yeah i have a bucketload of reasons why!) but this guy is just..wrong..n very disgustingly ewww wrong..me getting back to nice jap stuff to purge off that thought..eww..eww..eww..*shudder shudder shudder*

perfection

2008-02-09T00:56:00.000+05:30

"there is no such thing as perfection. this world itself is imperfect. that's what makes it so beautiful."

perfection is a myth..life is not perfect..love is not perfect..even fiction is not perfect..there are no books, no movies, no serials n yes no anime either, which show a perfect life..even a fairytale always starts with something missing..if everything and everyone was always happy, right from the beginning, there would be no story..imagine how exciting a movie would be if the hero and heroine meet, fall in love, get married, have kids, grow old and eventually die..totally normal..leading perfect - boring - lives..if nothing happens to them - no parental opposition, no test of true love and such crap, if one of the kids doesn't grow up to be a murderer and the other a policeman - it isn't really a movie is it??..every work of "fiction" shows how every ordinary person has something extraordinary happen to them..how the person has to go thru all sorts of trials..it just wouldn't be interesting without it..perfect people leading perfect lives are boring..however cliched it may sound, but life exists because there are imperfections..

we crave perfection how we crave paradise..even when we are sure that such a place exists only in our dreams..forever we chase this elusive ever-changing notion of perfection..as kids, we think becoming an adult would be "perfect"..as grown-ups, that "perfect job" or that "perfect guy/girl" would be our goal..becoming filthy rich, earning more than what we can spend, buying perfectly useless things just because we can..that becomes our ideal..but as times change, our desires change and perfection is not as we had imagined it to be..even though the public would envy rich businessmen or movie stars, they themselves would be heard cribbing about their lives..happiness, it seems, is not attached too much to perfection..coz we can be pretty much happy without having to be perfect..though maybe to be truly happy is perfection in itself (hmm..interesting idea, that..)..if so, then perfection has actually been achieved by almost everyone at some point or the other..it is the matter of retaining it that's the problem it seems..coz even though i can very truthfully say that after every demented session with my friends..every time im in the middle of an amazing book, movie or anime..every time m feeling all lazy and well-fed..every sunday i wake up at some ungodly hour of morning and realise that i can sleep on till the afternoon..every time i strike an amazing bargain at some roadside stall..every time i've conned joshiji outta a few bucks!! (hehe)..and sooo sooo many other times..i have been sooo happy i could float up into the air in a huuuge mass of fluff..lol..but i still wouldn't call my life "perfect"..satisfactory certainly..very much so..probably couldn't ask for much more..but perfect??..naaaah..if i could remain as lazy as i am and still top the batch and get an amazing job without any effort at all..or better still, just win a big enough lottery and be set up for life..or best of all, have yamapi fall for me and go live in my beloved japan..now that would be "perfect"!!..but till then, i'd just be leading a "satisfied" life rather than a "perfect" one..but this imperfect life of mine - with all its moments of sadness, loneliness, pain - probably makes me treasure the times of happiness more; and that, i am happy to say, is what makes it so much more "perfect"..

woah..i can be deep n philo too when i get into one of my weird moods..lol..n yeah m pretty much into one of my "moods" now..n lately i've rediscovered my "random spurts of poetic outbursts" side..hehe..n unlike the last few times, this time round i've actually written a few lines down, crappy as they are..if (n that's a huuuuge "if") i actually manage to make any sense outta them n finish them sometime in the near future, guess i'd put up a few here..again, stress on the big big biiiigg "if"..

well me outta here for now..
sheeya!!

ps: it was apparantly forecasted that jodhpur temperature would drop to a record low of 0 degrees tonight!!..don't quite see that happening..it's cold yeah but not that freezing..tho yeah i did almost get frostbite while taking a bath this evening..*brrrr*..inside the room tho, its positively toasty..hehe..

emo angsting at its zenith??

2008-01-31T04:10:00.000+05:30

"feel like burying myself inside the pile of blankets..feel like locking the door and throwing the key away..feel like drowning myself in something..anything..just to be able to not think about..anything..just not have to think..period..my normal routine of numbing myself by watching movies..immersing my consciousness into reading or listening to music..till i am actually physically too exhausted to think straight..then dropping into bed..to go back to watching some dream or the other..and again to wake up to the same routine..repeated again..and again..and yet again..a monotonity that is as boring as it is comforting..a series of meaningless events just to pass the time..that's what my life has been reduced to..my room that has become almost a coccoon..my sanctuary..it's as if one world ends outside the door..and another begins on the opposite side..my world..where everything is "peachy"..always..it's like a broken record that is stuck at the same note..and short of pulling the plug on the machine i can't stop the noise..point is..where's the switch??"

emptiness..

2008-01-30T17:17:00.001+05:30

it didn’t matter any more..now that he was gone..now that she had finally accomplished the one thing that she had set out to do..obliterated her one hindrance..the world was hers now..finally!!..so why did it seem so empty all of a sudden??..like by extinguishing that one life, the light of her own had somehow been extinguished..it didn’t make any sense..why??..why??..why??

she wanted to cry out in frustration..or just..cry??..no that was absurd..she..did..not..cry..never!!..ever..for anything..she just didn’t feel that much..did she??..then why does it hurt now??..she had heard of “heartache” before..and dismissed it as one of the many things she would never feel..could never feel..because of him..he was the one who was responsible for making her the unfeeling frigid monster she had become in the first place..after she had vowed her revenge against him for all that he had done to her..and finally gone through with it..after all those years..he was exactly where he should be..so why wasn’t she rejoicing right now??..why did it feel like her heart (did she even possess one??) was being ripped to pieces..

in her zeal to mete out judgement to her _____..what was he to her again??..enemy??..prey??.......childhood “idol” and first love??..the one person she thought would never do something like “that”..but all that had changed..the day he left..leaving her..betraying her..killing her..shattering all her naïve dreams..breaking all the bonds that had held him back he said??..n blind in her hero-worship of him, she had even agreed to go with him..just to be together..haha..what a fool she had been..not knowing who this person truly was even after spending almost all her life for him..

she had come a long way from back then..she had changed herself..because naïve fools like her didn’t survive in this world..the world he was the king of..n now she could claim it as hers..the hand that he had extended to her when they had met again after the years had changed her so much that he didn’t even recognize her for who he had once discarded so callously..to rule with him..to be her queen..by his side..she had taken that hand..and broken it..tortured it..and taken immense pleasure in doing so..the sadist that she was..and now that it was finally over..her reason for living evaporated..

she felt..alone..for the very first time..truly alone..for even through those times of pain and hardship, the one thing that had kept her going was the thought of defeating him..finally..at his own game..the desire to see his face contort in pain – and remembrance – was what had barely held her together when she almost fell apart from the sheer helplessness of it all..it’s said that the view from the top of the world might be breathtaking..but it was also terribly lonely..and the one person she had deemed capable of standing next to her – she had killed with her own hands..watched as the life slowly ebbed out of him..second after excruciating second..as the light left his eyes..as that still handsome face settled into a deathly calm..as the look of betrayal gave way to that of eternal sleep..

she walked through the empty house..out into the garden..their garden..past the flowers they had both planted..together..a lifetime ago..past that tree where they had passed many a lazy wintery afternoon..past that little bench which was exactly at the right place to look out over the valley..their valley..she looked at it all..seeing yet unseeing..it was like every tree, every flower, every blade of grass, every bit of everything..reeked of him..reminded her of him..of what was..a lifetime ago..

who was she??..all those months..that fake laugh..was more real than her real laugh..that mask she had worn for his sake..was what she had gradually become..that fantasy she had lived the past months..had become her reality..the unthinkable had happened..with the loss of her innocence, she had also lost any affection she had ever felt for the man who had compelled her into such a situation..but the monster that she had had to become..had fallen for the monster that he had always been..that innocent feeling she that nurtured for him when she was still a child had given way to something else..something deadly..

emptiness..that’s what she felt now..like she was hollow..and his voice was echoing inside..he hadn’t even known why she did what she did..he had died without knowing who she was and why she was wringing his life away from him..just like she had never understood the motives behind his actions that day either..his vague excuse of having to do “something” had never satisfied her..and she had thrown the same words back at him at his deathbed..just so he’d know how it felt..to be thrown away without understanding why..

and somehow..it was all meaningless..true she had all she wanted..but she could never tell anyone that..she could never scream out to the world how happy she was now that she had accomplished her one true goal..the only one who could ever understand how she felt now..was gone..everything had gone according to plan..but maybe it was a mistake to plan only till so far..she had truly never thought of how life would be after he was gone..in her desire to quench her thirst with his blood, she had never planned what to do when she felt thirsty again..her whole life had somehow been always dictated by his actions and she despised herself – and him – for it..which is why she had broken free..but even now when she had torn him like a thorn from a rose, she left like this rose would wilt without it??..why??..truth be told, maybe she had become a monster for him..maybe that was what she had always wanted..maybe she had always been trying to fulfil those childish dreams..her fairytale…..

but how does one get a “happily ever after” once the princess has killed prince charming??

just..don't ask..i should stay away from angsty fanfics n dumb mbs..till i get sane again..
ciao.. :)

dream scape..

2008-01-26T00:54:00.000+05:30

just completed the tsubasa chroncile franchise..n m soooo in luuuuuuuv with it..even tho the 2nd season was a bit bleh at times, the ova makes up for that..200%!!..can't wait for the 3rd ep..n sincerely hope they make more ova series..n with production ig!!..if i see more chibiness in place of the true manga story m gonna scream..it totally deserves to be a dark anime with how the manga is being written..clamp is the best!!..n did i mention, kuroxfay is love..L.O.V.E..totally..n its even canon now!!..yieee..i haven't been this fangirly abt a pairing since sasuxnaru or royxed..anyway before i get sucked into one of my "kyaaaaa!!" phases n start drooling over said yummy bishies doing _____ (umm..lets not go into more details here..just leave it at being definitely massive nosebleed material..lol)..lemme get on with the post as it was initially intended then..apart from a top-notch storyline n amazing characters you'll fall in love with, it also has a brilliant soundtrack..the background scores r fab..n even tho i normally don't like insert songs much..these do take the cake.."aikoi" makes me wanna jump up n start dancing (n its been quite a while since that happened..n oddly enough every time i hear it i keep on picturing yuna dancing to it like in the ffx-2 intro!! :O ..dunno why.."real emotion" wasn't that much of a fav anyway..totally weird).."dream scape" on the other hand has the most beautiful lyrics ever..i know its been too long since i last posted any song lyrics, i guess this deserves it tho..so here goes..

~ Dream Scape ~

Mita koto no nai kusa no umi ga
Gin-iro ni yurete zawameite
Yume to utsutsu no sakaime atari no keshiki

Kimi ni deau tame?
Soretomo mada minai dareka no hitomi no tame
Kaze wo wakete yuku
Dream scape...

Mou sugu naru yo ne, mezamashi no oto
Demo sono saki mo mada yume ka mo shirenai ne
Daiji na mono wa doko ni ita tte amari kawaranai yo ne

Mezametemo mada koko ni iyou to omou yo
Sore ga yuuki to iu mono ka to mo omou yo

Sittin' in the silence... Everlasting night breeze
(I believe... I deceive... I relieve...)
Kurasugite mienai dake sa...
In my...

Nakitaku nakute houtte atta mune no sasakure ni
Imagoro oikakerarete iki mo tsukenakute
Shigamitsuite ita shinjitsu ga boroboro ni karete ochiru made

Ima chotto mienai dake sa...

Genjitsu datte yume datte
Kimi wo mayowaseru dake dakara sa

Sakamichi no ue no magarikado, ikutsu demo sono saki ni ikitai
Ongaku no naka ni shika nai fuukei no mukou e
Kurasugite mienai dake sa...

Yume no tsudzuki ni wa yume ga
Nanairo no meiro mitai ni
Onkai no nai kusabue ni uta wo mitsukeru tame ni
Hirosugite me ga kurandemo
Utaisugite nodo ga karetemo
Mita koto no nai kusa no umi wo
Tatoe kimi ga inaku nattemo

Kurasugite mienai dake sa...
Dream scape...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Dream Scape ~ (translated)

A sea of grass I've never seen
Is swaying and rustling in the silver
This is the scenery at the border between dreams and waking reality

Is it in order to meet you?
Or is it for the eyes of someone I still haven't seen?
I'll go on, dividing the wind
Dream scape...

The alarm clock will ring soon, huh?
But what's beyond that might still be a dream, right?
No matter where you are, your precious things don't change, you know

Even if I wake up, I'm sure I'll still be right here
I think that might be what they call courage

Sittin' in the silence... Everlasting night breeze
(I believe... I deceive... I relieve...)
It's just that it's too dark to see...
In my...

The fragment of my heart that I flung away because I didn't want to cry
Is chasing after me now, until I can't even catch my breath
And the reality I clung to withers and falls, piece by piece

It's just that I can't quite see right now...

Whether it's a dream or reality
It will just confuse you

However many bends there are in the road at the top of the hill, I want to go beyond them
To the other side of the scenery that exists only in music
It's just that it's too dark to see...

There's another dream in the continuation of a dream,
Like a maze with seven colors
In order to find a song in a reed pipe that can't play scales,
Even if it's too vast and my eyes get dizzy,
Even if I sing too much and dry out my throat,
I'll take that sea of grass I've never seen and...
Even if you disappear...

It's just that it's too dark to see...
Dream scape...

well thats it for now..looking forward to an extended weekend now..lets see what all it holds..other than a jap marathon..hehe..

jaa..mata ne!!

adrift..

2008-01-15T03:34:00.000+05:30

adrift in the middle of the nite..in a sea of boredom..adrift..in the ocean of..life?? (hehe..too corny)..feeling all weird n lonely n stuff like i usually get after reading too many doujins n fanfics..n on top of that there's this incredibly sad soundtrack of fma m listening to (well not really sad..just that my playlist right now consists of only the sad instrumentals..n every time i listen to it i keep on thinking of the series n well it doesn't really make me all happy inside..hehe)

kinda feel philo n poetic..wud pen down sumthg if i could..but as it is, m nt much in the habit of letting my artistic tendencies (yeah right!) embarrass me..feel like leaving everything n just walk off..roam around aimlessly..not knowing where m going..not knowing why m going..just going on..n on..taking each day as it comes..knowing that thats all that matters..the here n now..the present..wish life could be so simple na??..wish we didnt have to think of the damn future all the time..wish we could enjoy our time here w/o needless worries crowding our heads..wish i was born in another time n place..when it would not have been so complicated..i remember wen i was a kid i used to think it would be so cool to b born as some animal..they didnt hav school n could lie around the whole day w/o getting yelled at for being too lazy..hehe..

the idea still appeals to me..guess thats y i chose such an amazing profession (yes m being sarcastic here)..hehe..hopefully after slogging off for 20-30 years i'll finally get wat i've always wanted..blessed freedom!!..all my pent-up desires for roaming the world without bothering about anythg..gotta bottle them up till then..tho how much of a shape i'll be in to "roam" at that age i highly doubt..but at the rate m "de-ageing" i dnt think i'll feel any different about the idea..hehe..so wats left now is just one year of "play time"..gotta squeeze in all i can within this short time..n then..the big bad world awaits..so den everything on hiatus till m pretty much an old hag..lets see how far my plans pan out..for such meticulously laid plans tho, sumthgs bound to go wrong..my immense faith in murphy's laws can't fail me now..hehe..guess nothing left but to wait n watch then..n hopefully in 30 years' time, this blog will have some interesting travelogues too!!

dunno if all tht made sense or not..n not in d mood to go n check it all now..probably a true ramble this time..knw wat i want right now??..other than eternal sleep of course..hehe..a testimonial..been ages since i got one..n since m too lazy to write one dnt think i'll b getting one any time soon..unless i sandbag sum guy to do it..hmmm..chibi ero-sennin?? (lets sincerely hope he reads this n feels the overwhelming urge to write me one..tho he'd probably expect one back n m nt sure i can comply..but in any case..be a darling n write me one will ya!)

well dats it for now..
m half asleep in my chair anyway..
jaa..mata ne!!

.......................... untitled ramblings..??

2008-01-09T20:15:00.000+05:30

dunno how to start..where to start..what to start at..its been such a long time since iv blogged..n there's obviously hundreds of things that i shud have to talk about..n i do..more like there's just too much!!..exam blues (like i need to explain that)..journey back home (mandore was a hoot!)..vacations..meeting old frnds (not everyone..but everyone who mattered)..school visit (yes..finally!!)..bros marriage (wich put the makers of "hum aapke hai kaun" to shame..n thats saying sumthg!)..bday (1st one in years to b spent at home..missed the midnite craziness but the rest of the day made up for that..and how!)..cal visit (actually "talked" to my fav - only - kid bro in quite sum time..felt soo nostalgic..n the day was over b4 i knew it)..new years' (half the usual crowd wasnt even thr..but wasnt all that bad either)..new sem..jurisprudence guest faculty woes (yessss..it is the great vss :P)..etc..etc..etc..n all the hilarious incidents in b/w..not to mention my regular stream of anime n dorama inputs..along with a quite liberal dosage of the "normal" (read sumthg in english/hindi) stuff i watch..all of it would obviously nt fit into one entry nor will i even attempt that..if iv been too lazy to do so wen the "cause of action arose", figures i wudnt b too enthusiastic about it so late in the day either..hehe..

fact of the matter is..i almost feel like m still vacationing..wat with our amazing hons. classes (wich r yet to commence..bless snehdeep!) wich leaves me with a free day frm 1.30..like a sunday everyday given my normal schedule..hehe..of course i find numerous past times to pass my suddenly overabundant free time..but the familiar feeling of being bored is set in again..jst over a week into the sem n i already feel like its been a month at the very least..same ol' same ol'..

.....
..........
...............
....................

yeah..nothing to write..of course not like m outta words n stuff (ask mads n ananya..they'd heartily disagree to the fact that i can ever stop blabbing..n i do mean ever!)..just too lazy i guess (again ask them..my laziness is stuff of legends i tell ya! :P)..n before i start making an absolute mess of an entry n turn myself into a total idiot by blabbering randomly of nothing of consequence (already guilty?)..better let off now..n get goin fr dinner..sdl..first time this sem..n its of course no surprise that m nt too thrilled abt the "journey" :P

so till i feel less lazy..
mata ne!

ps: "taare zameen par" is the best bollywood has offered up in years..maybe ever..totally made me forget the trauma that was "saawariya" (n it wud take an awful lot to do that lemme tell ya)..just goes on to show that u dnt need a six-pack to make a winner..in ur face!! ha!!

about philo stuff..or the lack of it..

2007-10-27T18:20:00.000+05:30

been reading recent blog entries of a few frnds..n what struck me was that almost everyone writes abt all this hi-fi philo stuff..or these reallly thoughtful meaningful poems..or some deep political mumbo jumbo..basically all very "adult" entries..whereas in contrast mine seems to be (the pathetically juvenile) ramblings of some super-hyper kindergarten kid..or a 4th year college student who thinks she can behave like one!! (which i think comes off as much worse)..anyway a blog is supposed to be about what one wants to write..from the heart..like a diary where ud chronicle ur innermost thoughts..which is of course not very feasible here considering the open-ness of it all..one really would not want to be writing abt their first crushes n such when theres a good chance that their parents might b taking a trip to blogland sumtime..or worse still - their irritating younger sisters who'd blackmail them for life if anything like this fell in their hands :P..hehe..so is it solely for their reading pleasure that all high funda stuff seems to spew out n adorn these blogs??..or is it coz people actually do think that way n hence write abt it much as i write my blab accounts??..coz if its the latter, then i cant help but feel that im lacking sumthg sumhow..if people my age are supposed to converse in such pompous language n talk about such pompous stuff, then im probably quite far behind all that..make no mistake, i do have my philo moments too..and have in fact given forth many a deep meaningful dialogue (n yes another point..why call it a "dialogue" when in fact its actually a "monologue"???..beats me!)..even i can write using nice looooong utterly obscure terminology but i just dnt think my blog is the proper forum for it..id much rather save it all up n use it during shasthris exam next week!!..n maybe spare some for ap singh n poddy too..hehe..anyhoo..yet every time i chance thru sumones blog i feel like i should put sumthg similar even if jst to show that "i can"..which is, of course, a highly absurd idea considering how less im supposed to regard others' opinions..but its like..steadily..my opinion on my own blog is changing..i normally write like how i wud converse with my "voices"..so maybe my voices need to mature a bit??..or maybe i need to in order to hold more "intelligent" conversations with them?? (n now iv finally crossed over that edge rt??..talking about conversations..intelligent and otherwise..with my "voices"??..hehe)..but its true..even right now theres this lil voice "dictating" this as i type..my own personal "beta"??..hehe..well anyway the question remains largely unanswered..n by now m nt even sure what the question is!

well this probably turned out to be even more random than my normal random blab accounts!!..but then thats me i guess..even if i think id like to get all deeply philo id probably end up just blabbing anyway..so cheers to even more "crazzzy times" by crazzzy me..hehe..anyway exam time now..which means id b outta the loop fr quite sum time..so the next update can be expected sumtime during the vacations at the earliest..

wish me luck then..
ciao..

ps: wishing probably for the zillion-th time that id made my blog anonymous!!

sashiburi da ne??

2007-10-17T09:23:00.000+05:30

ohhayooo minna-san!!..sashiburi da ne??..yep been long since i updated here..n whats the momentous occasion this morning u ask??..well its a ppt so no first class!!..yieee fr me!!..god bless firms n companies n their ppts..hehe..i luuuuv impromtu class cancellations..n suddenly felt like il spend this hour catching up on ppls blogs n before long i wanted to write stuff myself..hehe..well here i am then..been verrrry busy recently..last min stuff again..n as usual m being a total lazybones about it..have sooo much work that i actually feel buried..n the endsems have already crossed that "corner"..so while everyones happily celebrating durga pujas m sitting finishing pending work..not to mention, my sis wud b visiting fr a few days frm friday..dunno how il manage to work n show her around as well..anyhoo..lets cross that bridge wen we come to it..in the famous words of our famous vss..hehe..which reminds me that i hav his class (more like an excuse for a staring contest if u ask me!) this morning..mendokuse!!!!

well so wat have i been upto these days apart from work??..a massive intake of himym..in other words "how i met your mother"..an amazing series..n i sooo luuuuv barney..cant blv hes the same doogie howser kid i saw over this summer!! (man they sure grow up so fast ne?? :P)..in his immortal words - its "legennnnn-wait-for-it-daaarrryyy"..hehe..other than this..my regular stream of animes n doramas continues..started on all these new animes..some really good..some totally crap..n one which is probably meant for 2-yr olds but i watch it anyway..hehe..but mostly not that bad..nothing as path-breaking as "death note" or "claymore" or "darker than black" n stuff..but nothing nauseating like "school days" either..n best news so far is that "d.gray-man" is continuing!!..would have sucked had it actually ended at 52 eps..but thankfully its back to the true manga story n roaring on..cant wait to see allens new arm..hopefully in a few eps if they dont decide to go all shippuuden on us (which, btw, has decided to stop airing for weeks on end now for what purpose god only knows!!..i mean cmon the mangas waaaay ahead so just get on with it already!!)

so work aspect..check!..neverending rants about anime..check!..what else is left then??..ohhh yesssss.."pokemon news" :P ..hehe..no no i havnt discovered a latent love for the series (still consider it yuck even aftr all of ananyas ministrations to the contrary..hehe :D)..it merely refers to my love for poking ppl..like all the freaking time..(note: certain ppl b informed that i refer to normal "pokes" here..n not the special variety i subject certain ppl to..henceforth poke shall only mean poke and not *poke*..hehe..aaahh as if u didnt know already..but then cudnt resist the crack there..hehe)..n yes i do mean it about all the freaking time..just ask ghosty who has the misfortune to sit right in front of me in class and has to bear the brunt of it usually..or ananya n mads who also get their due share of my famous pokes..hence the name "pokemon"..n so about "pokemon news"..basically that there is no news at all..i sooo miss poking ppl but now-a-days m mostly sleeping in class..or ppl r sleeping themselves..or busy..so poor lil pokemon had to go underground for sometime..which she made up for by behaving like the hyperactive perpetually drunk lil baby that she is..m thinking of terming it as the "mental pokemon mode"..hehe..

so there it is..half of my hour-long holiday gone..the other half to be spent in checking for updates on few fanfics n probably finishing this multi-chappy one m currently reading..lessee wen i get to write next..oh n seems like winters on the way for sure now..gotten real dry..n quite chilly in the early mornings..now if only the days could get cooler too!!

anyway..toodles for now..
jaa..mata ne!!

ps: naruto ost 3 is a drug..period..

edit @ 12.43 pm:
no hons class after all..n better still no more classes!!..in other words no more staring!!..yiee!!..met the great vss himself outside n made the humongous mistake of asking him whether we have class or not..but of course he wont reply in the simple "no"..oh no not him..it was at least a min long monologue as to how "regular classes have hereinafter been notified to be suspended due to the completion of the syllabus.." or something like that..n how i should come give my project viva sometime..of course i dnt retain the exact pompous words..but i remember it included terms such as "your excellency" and "knocking on doors"..dunno y tho..guess i switch off even wen not in class..hehe..an automatic conditioned response..hehe..

but anyway before i launch fully into one of my "bashing phases"..lemme just leave it off here for now..after all i intended to just state that we actually ended up not having his class..n look at how m gettin drifted off again..hehe..

so bbye..tata..again..
ciao..

"humma humma"

2007-09-29T00:14:00.000+05:30

cultural week on in full swing..last night were the dance recitals..solo, duet n group..n day before yesterday we got the sudden urge to participate..ananya n me..so we thought we'd choose some song n pick up some steps..well n good..the whole day went by n zilch done..n we're like "we are dancing right??..its tomorrow..we'll manage..we have the night.."..well the night came n went..we had fun..did stuff..slept..no dancing..the day of the competition dawned n us with still no idea as to what we are doing..or whether we are even gonna go through with it or not..riddhis group practising like crazy in the corridor..missing classes n all..but us??..naaaa..pretty chilled..first two periods go by without notice..m half asleep n dozing off..third period mads finds out her moots been postponed to next saturday n she's free too..(n btw..all this time..we are still like.."we are still dancing aren't we??..its this evening!!..we'll manage..")..so with mads on board as well we finally decide to draw up a list of songs to choose from..3rd class over n still left with this huuuge list..thankfully 4th was hons. classes..which they didnt have n i thought id be done with early coz it was jst this teeny portion of shavii's presentation..but no such luck..thanks to the eternal crap-meister's relentless efforts in keeping us in till the very last moment!!..uggghhh..god!! didnt knw people could actually crap soo much..but lemme not deviate into discussions on crapping prowess exhibited during our cri. hons. classes..that's best saved for another day and another entry..anyway so i finally managed to detach myself n rushed back..hoping that some significant progress had occurred in my absence..thankfully the list had been narrowed down considerably..2.15 n we are down to just two songs..its either "humma humma" or "mangalyam"..but on the flip side, we have class from 2.30 till 4.30 n the thing starts at 7..come 2.45 we are pretty much decided on "humma humma" n have all these random ideas..3.00 we get called to class for pil attendance..sucks!!!.. but by 3.30 we are back..pil and ipr attendance taken care of..n 3 joshi's chairs flicked fr props..hehe..n then we really get down to it in earnest..n slowly it all takes form..barely three hours later we can quite proudly say that we've come up with a pretty well choreographed piece..a few finishing touches n practice sessions later we are good to go..last min scramble to get us registered n submit the song in time (the duets n solos had already started by then!!)..found out we're on in 10 mins!!..n we werent even ready yet..somehow managed to dress up n everything in time..n actually with time to spare for some more last min practice n the inevitable oh-my-god-im-gonna-forget-the-steps-n-embarrass-myself-in-front- of-the-whole-univ jitters (n of course the "do i look too fat??" jitters as well..hehe)..n before we knew it, it was our turn..n in a flash it was all over..thankfully we didnt mess it up..didnt forget or stand there looking stupid..n for something cooked up in 3 hours it was jolly good (even if i do say so myself..hehe)..we did get a fair share of cheers n applause..n even had people coming up n saying that they were surprised that we (read "i") could dance at all since this was the first for both mads n me in the univ (not counting the dance party thingies of course)..n apparantly i did not look like a stick up there..yiee me!!..but unfortunately noone payed us the ultimate compliment of "its a gem!! its a gem!!"..hehe..but anyway the whole thing was a hoot..we had an amazing time preparing n dancing..loads of fun..

so well that was it..dead tired after the thing was over..dunno how we managed the trip to n back from sdl..for the first time we actually ordered individual thalis (though we still maintain that its much more fun sharing one n just tearing upon the food as it comes..not to mention its amazing for the pocket too..hehe)..hogged like no tomorrow..felt like we hadnt eaten in days..by the time we were done i was feeling all laaazzzyy n satisfied which comes only with a well fed tummy..hehe..dnt remm the return journey much..came back to room..verrry "drunk" (but then m perpetually that way according to mads..hehe)..legs were killing me by then..just wanted to drop on the bed n never wake up again..but had work..n still had to make that crappy presentation fr today as well..almost made me wanna go bang my head sumplace..thankfully i had already pretty much completed the research aspect of it n just the typing was left..managed to make some sense outta it somehow..left almost half to be done this morning..was gonna wake up early but for me thats but a dream rt??..hehe..anyway managed to finish it properly and on time..regardless of lappy charger malfunctions (more like non-functions), mysterious disappearances of saved material n untimely power cuts..but alls well that ends well..presentation went fine..even though vss did come back halfway through it (yeah he wasnt supposed to be thr..but much to gas' glee he returned early) n there was a lotttt of crap flung around as usual..n my 20 mins presentation dragged on for the whole hour..n now hopefully those two will decide among themselves how much they wanna give me..

anyway m too sleepy again now..but m in suchhhh a bugging kinda mood..n theres noone to bug..aaahhhhhh!!!..its been a looong time since i actually wanted to bug someone soo much..but no matter..it wud probably not be that much fun with me feeling sooo sleepy like this..whatever..m just gonna go ahead n start dreaming..theres this very specific idea i have right now..would luuuv to dream abt that..so better get a move on before i get all wakey-wakey again..

jaa mata ne!!
ciao.. :)

ps: dandiya night tomm..n only ananya wants to go while the rest of us think that its just too much of a pain to get all dressed up n everything..but i know that even after all our plans of not going, in the end we'll all end up going anyway..like last time also it was a last min plan n we went verry late n ended up taking too many pics as usual with not much dancing thrown in..anyhoo..m going out so m ruled out anyway (too bad would miss the scavenger hunt as well)..but lets see if we all have a night out or i get dragged in after iv come back!!

the best feeling in the world!!!

2007-09-26T22:58:00.000+05:30

the absolute bestest feeling in the world has gotta be..no classes!!!!..especially on lazy saturdays when one doesnt wanna go out at all..n the bestest of the bestest of the best is thinking there would be a full day of class and finding out that its all cancelled after all!!!!!..gotta love those firms n companies coming for recruitment..wouldnt have had such an amazing saturday if not for their numerous ppts..so no classes..but attendance given on sheets n stuff (proxy of course..the only chance we get here fr stuff like that wich other ppl take for granted)..so thats like yieeeee fr me..no first class so got up late..turned out to be no second class either..moot in 3rd class so sneaked out half-way..2 hr break fr lunch..n classes cancelled again in the aftee..so effectively no classes..n knowing that theres a lazy sunday to look forward to as well..well what can i say..*blisssssss*..watched stuff..read few fanfics..bugged ppl..did sum work (yeah m up to my neck in work n procrastinating dreadfully as usual)..had some yum food..a very my kinda day all in all..hehe..

the second bestest feeling was..probably..watching the india-pakistan final..widescreen..in the darkened mess..all of us together screaming our lungs out..sitting right in front of the huge screen..cheering..cursing..hooting..shouting..jumping..whistling.. stomping..nara-maroing..amazing experience..n then india won..n how!!!..the best type of final..a nail-biting finish..if after all that the pakis had won i dnt think the tv would have survived our assault..hehe..thankfully that wasnt the case..india did win..tho it was just by the skin of their teeth..n we were sooo gleeful that in the end "miserable huq" got out..hehe..n we made such a riot..could be heard fr miles around..n the bombs n crackers later on..god!!..sugggoooiiiiiii!!!!..normally i dnt really like watching matches..too long n gets too boring fr me..much better to have my sis scream n call me during the good parts..but this time was totally different..guess it does make a difference how ones watching it..if it had been jst watching on tv in mess i wouldnt hav gone fr it..but with all the get-up n all..thot id just stay for a while..n got hooked..of course it helped that it was just a 20-20 over match..but watevr..it was amazing..the end..

so..its a really nice time m going thru rt now (not work-wise..coz i hav loads of that..wich m ignoring at present till they actually do bury me)..but otherwise its all really nice..have started getting amazing dreams again which i remember!!..saw sequels to a few of them as well..been meaning to fr quite some time now..it finally cooled down here..drizzled n rained fr sumtime..some brilliant lightning flashes (the whole inter-galactic war types!!)..sandstorms here n there..amazing cloudy skies all the time..n absolutely gorgeous moons at nights.."playing hide n' seek with the clouds"..n a beautiful full moon night right now..light cool breeze blowing through ur hair..heaven!!..this is when after dinner walks are the best..all dark n cool..with just the moon n stars..n us behaving mental as usual..hehe..

speaking of us behaving mental..the other day in class..monday..decided to take pics n stuff.."creations" - our cultural week - going on..so monday was ethnic day n we were all in suits or kurtis n stuff..n decided to remember the occasion..n it was a gorgeous day..all windy n cloudy n cool..naturally not in the mood to study..n ppl were going crazy abt the match in the evening as well..n then the labour law guy decided to take a snap (which was like kinda announced coz he'd been wanting to take it fr ages now n we'd stalled him with sumthg or the other every time..hehe)..of course we didnt wanna write then..n that too in the 3.30 class with just a few hrs remaining for the match!!..so we made some excuse of it being a moot class so no notes with ppl n stuff n finally managed not to have the test (which happened the next day actually..announced snap..but we had flicked the paper n gotten photocopies so no probs..hehe..he did know of it n "changed" the paper..which actually didnt amount to much coz he'd merely changed the names n stuff n kept the substantial parts as it is.."super mann" that he is..total wanna-be bond..hehe)..so after all the crying n cribbing n pleading we were totally not in the mood to study..so decided that a photoshoot session was in order..hehe..took like a tonne of pics..all taken from weird angles so he wudnt notice..was hilarious..sitting in the "functional second bench" (i.e. the actual 3rd bench)..laughing like maniacs..posing this way n that..making jai remove his elbow n dealing with other incidental interferences..n all without him noticing!!..everyone else around us were giving us such looks i think..hehe..but was sooo much fun..kept on taking pics throughout..even till end of next class (not that that took too long..attendance..bit of nakhra..n left..obviously..like we were actually gonna sit n study with the "chu chu chu" guy till 5.30 on the match day!!..duuuhhh!!)..n then it went on for a bit more..pics outside class on the balcony..while walking back to mess..of the sky n clouds..basically just loads of pics..n loads of fun..

well..been writing this blog entry for a loooong time now..had thought of writing abt the no classes thingy on saturday itself but due to certain unavoidable circumstances (viz. me being too lazy..n having too many things to watch..etc etc etc..hehe) was unable to..again thought id write on monday night after the match..but again due to similar circumstances..hehe..finally started last nite..but left halfway through..was too sleepy to think straight..now at last its done..n i wont feel the urge to write this n that n the other in the middle of every boring class!!

till next time then..
jaa ne!!

ps: totally hooked to the "black cat" intro song.."daia no hana"..been listening to it over n over n over again..n wanna watch hyd all over again (ok so that was totally random..bt i doooo so wanna watch it again..)

the thrill of the chase...n guys i wanna choke the life out of!!

2007-09-22T00:23:00.000+05:30

so this was actually written in pkp's ipr class (or at least half of it)..got so bored that decided to write on paper for a change..will be published in the evening of course (now i mean..hehe)..anyway..so m bored as usual..watching "trinity blood" again..properly this time (ie. in jap with subs)..n "black cat" is amazing as usual..brilliant sequences..n train heartnet..aaaaahh..especially as the aloof cold-blooded killer in the earlier eps..hotttttt!!..the whole black overcoat flowing in the wind thing..never fails..always been a sucker for that..hehe..

anyhoo..back to the main topic..actually why i started this entry in the first place..wanted to include it last time actually but couldnt find a suitable opening in all the random drabble..so.."the thrill of the chase"..one of the precursors??..reasons??..(watevr..call it wat u will)..for my boredom..basically building things up a tad bit too much..n hence ending up bored too soon..like the other day in the aftee class..we were soooo hungry..n discussed soo much abt food n how hungry i was (n freaked mads out tellin her to go stand out in the sun so she could get "nice n cooked"..but she wasnt all dat freaked sadly enough..its become normal now..my cannibalistic tendencies becoming more pronounced in class that is..n especially in pkp's classes these days..hehe..even now he's talking abt basmati rice n its x'tics..how it looks..smells like..oooooohhhh godddd..m hungggrryyyy!!!)..anyway so we could actually taste the food..fried maggi..thali..chicken tikka..the works..yummm..sooo much so that we like couldnt wait to go to sdl n hog like crazy..counting the minutes till end of class..n i for one saw everything around me as lumps of yumm food stuff..hehe..so the very second class got over we - mads, ananya n me - practically ran to sdl..even in the reaallly hot (u hav noooo idea how hot believe me!) sun barely surviving ananya's father-in-law's bride burning attempts..n managed to reach sdl in almost semi-solid forms..still really hungry..but couldnt manage to hog as much as i would have liked to..mostly coz it was just soo hot n stuffy..n i just wanted to go back to the room n to my precious cooler..n go online n watch stuff as usual..actually would have preferred to have someone just get me something (ya eternally lazy me..hehe)..but coz id soo overhyped the thing in class that i just had to go..n walk back in the heat as well..mattaku..so basically i probably ended up having more fun fantasizing about it than actually doing it..not quite within the ambit of "thrill of the chase" but somewhat like it..anyway so keeping in mind my tendency to get bored with everything too soon..not too much of a surprise really..n its nt like this happens to me over food only..actually this is probably the first time since food happens to satisfy me pretty well normally..n its more in terms of stuff i watch..expect too much n end up being disappointed..or get soo enamoured by the trailers that the final product doesnt hold much..n then theres the whole thing abt me wanting things i think i cant have n getting bored of it as soon as i do get it (happens more often with studies actually..one time this guy pissed me off n i thot id do better than him n thought maybe that wouldnt b possible coz he was the topper n all..but in the end topped myself n he got miserable results..was quite happy..but didnt feel like repeating it the next time)..call me lazy but i wouldnt like ppl to keep on expecting great things frm me..its a pain to study n top all the time..n once uv done it ppl keep expecting u to continue topping..which is the painful part..coz its more often than not a one-time thing..just a whim on my part..just coz i can top doesnt mean that i like it!!..n then y deprive all those ppl who reaaally wanna top n have been studyin all thru the year for that wich i achieved in a one-night crash course studying the day before the exams??..doesnt seem fair does it??..(actually seems extremely lazy of me..but..watever!!)..anyway so getting bored of things which i chase after n build up too much soon after iv gotten it..thats me!!..which is probably the one major reason i dnt go out with guys i think (n of course theres the thing that none of them match up..well basically r nt yamapi..hehe)..coz i know that after this thrill thing is over, id get dead bored n ditch the guy asap..hehe..n since no guy can actually hold my attention for long (not counting jap ones of course..they'd keep me hooked forever i expect!!..hehe)..so well wat can i say..m apparantly very flighty..hmmm..

ookk..so this entry didnt quite turn out how i first imagined it..too many pauses in b/w i guess..started in class n finishing now..hmmmm..was gonna finish in the evening itself right after class..but ended up editing the project n making the dumb attendance wala assignment..n its not even that farzi..surprizing really!!..the one thing i didnt need to make all nice n stuff, i did..anyhoo so was too mad in the evening anyway to write stuff here..lets just say that certain ppl who shouldnt concern themselves with my business apparantly do..overly..very very overly!!..uffff..pissing off..one tight slap these samples should get..right across their face..disgusting!! poking their nose where it doesnt belong..now ppl reading my blogs i dnt mind..but why cant ppl b normal n just post a comment here if they sooo wanna comment on my posts..why do they hav to send random unwanted msgs i really dont understand!!..if its something that they dnt wanna let the "public" (ya right like the whole world reads my blog oh so religiously like the morning newspaper!!) know..then even i dnt wanna knw..n especially if m not talking to them!!!!..not talkin to ppl does not mean i wanna receive all sorts of random comments instead..y cant ppl just get the msg for gods sake..i mean seriously..wat do i have to do to get it across??..i fail to understand how iv not been clear enough already as it is!!..aarrrggghhh..guys shud all just go jump into sum convenient well or sumthg n die..die die DIEEEE!!!!

ok so now i wanna kill ppl again..n verrry painful deaths at that..n yeah a "torture note" would be great thnx very much..tho a "death note" would suffice just as well..anyway m feeling too sleepy again..n gotta finish these few eps b4 i switch off completely..

well then..
jaa ne!!

drabble

2007-09-20T01:37:00.000+05:30

i guess this is like the 4th time iv opened this page..n this time i will write something..thing is..its like i have too many random vague ideas running through my head..n at the same time its like my mind is also completely blank..well then lets start off with some really good news first..no first class tomm..so i get to sleep in!!..yiee mee!!..n bad news??..hmmmm..m bored again..but that i guess is just news..good or bad doesnt really come in..n m really blabbering again right??..i am like a drunk baby lately like mads keeps telling me..n wat does this drunk baby wanna talk about now??

guess what exactly is going through my head right now???.."i am sooo bored..mendokuse..this is such a farce..i should soo go to sleep right now"..but the "bored" parts brighter n in huger caps than others..so m gonna be talking abt me being bored again??..story of my life really..wat else is thr to say??..why cant anythg nice n interesting happen??..sometimes i wish i was like haruhi n the world revolved around me n everytime i got bored something would happen!!..but no such luck..m nt in an anime..there are no aliens, espers or time-travellers around me..thing is..i would probably even settle for being like kyon..but..naaaaaaaa..*beeeeep*..life can be "but a dream"..but apparantly not some reaally exciting anime..actually wouldnt have minded had it been one of my own dreams..but apparantly life is this really boring dream dreamt up by this reaaaalllly boring individual who i think basically needs to get a life..so..here i am..this is me..and there are probably a million n one persons id rather be!!..but unfortunately m stuck being bored here..havent even had any of my amazing dreams in quite some time now..n even if i have i dont remm a single bit of it..

not that many stuff to watch lately either..i guess m slowly getting over my rabid mania over watching any other anime i can lay my hands on..dorama phase coming up again maybe??..but then maybe its coz every other good anime iv been following these days is coming to an end..such a pain..y do these gotta end without really ending??..when the manga is ongoing how does it make sense to end everythg midway when nothing has been resolved at all??..pissing off..iv gotta read all these mangas now unless new seasons get announced..mendokuse..mendokuse..mendokuse!!!!!!

anyhoo..hmmm..so..run out of topics again i see..this sucks..m bored bored bored..have nothing to write about n yet m blabbering along..this will probably be the most embarrassing entry ever..which i really should delete but will not coz m just too stubborn..n bored (see??..there is that word again.."bored")..so..wat else is new with me hmm??..been taking these ridiculous quizilla anime quiz things (coz i was bored..of course..hehe)..thought i might put some up here at the end of it..but they were just so utterly ridiculous that i had to chuck that idea outta the window immediately..some of the pics in the results were nice tho..but the quizzes themselves were the dumbest things ever..

anyway since i really dont have anything to blog about (actually never did in the first place..but lets ignore that teeny tiny lil thing for now)..n this has probably crossed all heights of blab..even those set by me..so tatas to u all from a very sleepy drunk baby whos only excuse for making any hapless individual go through the pain of actually sitting n reading this thru is "insanity brought on by extreme boredom" (n theres the sleepiness..n the drunkenness as well..but mostly the boredom thingy..hehe)

soo..till i can live the shame down :P
jaa ne!!

just for a while..

2007-09-18T23:56:00.001+05:30

ok so this is my first poem here..n well first poem in years..first "real" poem not counting those rhymes n birthday msgs i used to make up..anyway basically first senti mushy lovey-dovey(?) poem by an adult me which i didnt immediately feel like deleting..made in a hurry by a very sleepy drunk-from-pepsi me (who incidentally is very irritated over a scratchy throat..runny nose..eyes which feel uncomfortably hot..n the beginnings of a pretty high fever!)..inspired from my current gtalk status ("did you know...??") n the hundred n one answers i came up with for all those ppl who bugged me abt it..soo well statutory warning time over..dont expect much n u wont b disappointed..anyway id better stop blabbering n get on with the real task..hai dozo :)

~ Just for a While ~

Oh did you know..
Gazing upon the stars..Still makes me think of you..
Even if just for a while..

Oh did you know..
Listening to our song..Still makes me cry..
Even if just for a while..

Oh did you know..
Looking at you across the room..Still makes my heart clench..
Even if just for a while..

Oh did you know..
Thinking back on our time..Still makes me regret letting you go..
Even if just for a while..

Oh if only you knew..
How many times I still wake up calling your name..
The hollow silence mocking me..
Your face burned in my brain..

Come back..Come back..Screams my empty heart..
Broken into a million pieces..
Too long have we been apart..
I know I loved you then..I know I love you now..
Come back..'Coz I know you loved me too..
Even if just for a while..

leave a comment if ya liked it..n a lil constructive criticism will not be unwelcome either :)
jaa ne!!

nani attenda atashi wa..??

2007-09-13T07:13:00.000+05:30

really..wat am i doing??..have this huuuuge pil test today..for which i havnt studied..at least not seriously..n that too after i was all sincere n told my mom that i'll sleep in the evening n study all night..ha ha..what a joke!!..but i did keep half of the promise..i did sleep all thru the evening n quite a bit of the night as well..but as for the studying later bit..no show..as soon as i sat in the chair..the comp was like this giant magnet pulling me towards it..n that was the end of all my hi-fi plans..

so all my nice intentions went down the drain..to be replaced by the latest installment of "claymore" (just 2 eps left now to the end..n then il start on the manga in ernest..theres no way they can actually do justice to it in just 26 eps..n that too with an ongoing manga..n apparantly the story line differs considerably)..2nd last ep of "school days" (hope the guy dies a verrrry painful death in the last ep!)..netting for any info on "yuukan club" (bakanishi's new dorama..releasing on 16th oct..finally the long waits over!!..n hes still pretty "drool-worthy" :P)..n watching lots n lots n LOTS of dmvs..which made me wanna watch the series all over again..n dby got me to thinking abt wwl..so basically right now m pining away for the 8th n 10th eps to get subbed so i can watch 9th n 11th..its just sooo hard to resist skipping to the next eps but since soo much happens in an ep cant even do that..

anyway so i uploaded this bunch of dmvs to orkut so i can look at them n drool sum more..chatted some..ate stuff..tried to study (yes i really did)..gave up wen it became painfully obvious that i wasnt retaining anythg anyway..so guess wat i did??..refreshed cr again..still no "bleach"..y cant db be nice n punctual as it is with "naruto" so i can watch it b4 i head for class??..bt no ppl wanna make my day even worse..tempted to watch the raw but thankfully could resist..

actually by now m babbling abt stuff i shudnt b babbling about..i hate writers block (n studying for pil)..so forgive me if this entry seems weird n "gemmy" :P

gotta get ready for class in sumtime now..
jaa ne!!

pigeon spank inferno

2007-09-11T07:54:00.000+05:30

well just outta a power outage..n did i ever mention how much i luv electricity??..or as mads wud put it technology as a whole..n especially my cooler, the noise of which blots out some really disgusting noises as i realised just now..lets just say i hav a new-found respect for my headphones blaring music at the top of its voice..err.. volume..for otherwise i wud b subjected to listen to the 3rd degree torture that is the orgy currently on in full blast in my balcony..in other words.."pigeon spank inferno" (k dirty minds outta d gutter..i watched "coupling" n not the original!!)..guess i never quite realised how loud they were before..or mayb its just "that time" for them..but theres kinda like a proper full-fledged harem raging outside..n i think the two (disgustingly ugly) chicks are probably scarred for life after seeing their mom n other people looking exactly like their mom do stuff right in front of their innocent eyes..ewwwwww..

anyway the whole time the power was cut..the only thing i was thinking to keep my mind off the you-knw-what-so-dnt-make-me- relive-the-horror-of-it-all-by-writing-abt-it-over-n-over-again was how as soon as the power came back i was gonna blog all abt it (if i didnt go mad frm it b4 that is..)..n also watch these eps of this thing wich was fully streamed n i needed to finish before going for class..which i havnt dun as yet..so me getting back to it now..

jaa ne!!

ps: moms coming tomm..n bringing writer's block as a travelling companion..hehe..so will probably be quite irregular here..

"the mistress deal"

2007-09-10T21:54:00.000+05:30

yup..la la la vid..finally saved..n uploaded (actually..uploading at the moment..but will be dun by the time this gets written..well it kinda has to or else i wnt b able to publish it..hehe)..dunno how it will look here tho..hopefully not too weird..

anyway..guess a lil background info is in order.."the mistress deal" was formed last year (right?)..actually its always been in existence..but formally named as such then..but now we are also called "the lalalazzz" but lets not go into the graphic details of the exact nature of our relationship here..hehe..so this mistress deal is composed of the "awesome threesome" (yeah thats wat we originally went by)..mads, ananya n me..basically the idea was that since thr r three of us..one of us has always gotta b the mistress in the relationship rt??..so we all r mistresses for the others..n the names got inspired frm these corny mbs we read..hehe..actually jst "mistress deal" (frm my collection) n "arabian mistress" (wich mads was reading)..n since we cudnt find anothr suitable name..ananya became "the mistress"..n as for my "dirty mistress"..thats frm "greys anatomy"..combined with ananyas astronaut boyfrnd story (my lips r sealed ananya..m nt gonna embarrass u in a public forum)..hehe..so anyway we have super times togethr..n this vid is jst composed of a few pics taken during sum of our demented times togethr..frm photoshoots at odd occasions to sunset point confessions to blatant lalala behaviour..with some corny lines thrown in here n thr fr gud measure..oh the joys of being lalala!!

so without further ado (well actually i dnt hav anythg else to say wich wont -- lets say -- compromise..err..certain things wich had better remain in confidence fr now..n besides mads is gettin mad at me fr keepin her waiting fr dinner..hehe)..well then..heres the vid..in all its lalala glory..enjoy!!

do drop in a comment or two about how bad it was exactly (especially mads n ananya coz m nt really sure how the description turned out finally)..i knw it probably wnt make much sense to othrs..bt to us who have actually "lived thru it"..its kinda a cute way to relive those crazy times..

so then..toodles for now peepli..
jaa ne!!

y do i miss him soo much....

2007-09-08T02:18:00.000+05:30

it could be termed as a "crush" at best..certainly nothing more..well maybe if it had been allowed to continue..i probably wud have ended up falling fr him..fr real..n real bad..but thats the whole point..i didnt..cudnt..so y??..y now??..y do i still miss him so much after all these years like it was just yesterday??

guess i'll forever be plagued by thoughts..of him..us..what was..what could have been??..weird na??..never thought id end up obsessing over it after - how long has it been?? - 6 years (wow..its actually been that long??)..probably didnt think too much of it even on the "anniversary" days since..yeah sumtimes lil things did remind me of those days..but i could just laugh it off or something like that..or devote 5 mins or so to reminiscing n then get back on track..which is somehow not working now..cant blv i have nothing othr than memories of us..nothing tangible..no gifts..no cute lil teddy bears..no rings..only..four mails saved in my mailbox..just four..nothing special..just normal "hi..wen r ur vacations next??..cuming to cal sumtime??..u shudnt bunk school so much in b/w"..hehe..feel like laughing n crying every time at the same time wen i read them now..again..n again..n yet again..we had such normal conversations..nice n innocent..coz every other mail with even a hint of anythg else i deleted asap..dunno wat i was afraid of..noone wud have read them anyway..but me being the paranoid freak-show that i am deleted them as soon as i read them (really i think i had read one too many detective books where old letters gave everythg away..hehe)..i should have saved at least one..for old times sake..but not me..always thought there wud b plenty of time to do all that "later" or "wen we grew up"..a vague idea of a future??..n i even went to the extent of deleting them from his sent items wenever i was over at his place..really stupid ne??..even those times..fighting over my paranoia of being discovered..n he was always so calm..but then rarely did anythg rattle him..while i flew off the handle far too much fr my own good..would go all "vesuvius" on him as he put it..n hed calmly keep smiling at me till i was too exhausted to continue..god!! that was irritating as hell..wanted to rip that smile off (well if the same situation arose now..id probably..umm..kiss it off??..hehe..there i go..being mushy again..hehe)..i remm like only a couple of times that we really argued abt sumthg..two-sided arguments i mean..n both times it was coz i had overreacted over sumthg quite trivial n gotten him too mad..but man was he scary wen angry..hehe..n cho cute too!!..one time i actually laughed out loud in b/w he was being sooo cute..hehe..

god the memories..now that im seriously thinking about it all..theres just too many to write here..dunno wich to write n wich not to..in all the time we were together we did so many things..he was the one who got me hooked to comps..before that id merely dismissed them as these "tv look-alikes" in my dads office..useless basically..hehe..it was principally to mail him that i ventured into cyberspace n discovered the joys of internet..n it was also him who introduced me to comp games.."road rash"..will always remm the first time i came first in the race..hehe..danced around like mad..that was the first time he hugged me (more like glomped me!)..probably just to calm me down from all the random jumping around his room..but id like to think otherwise..hehe..i was so shocked i went like "statue" (yeah we used to play that a lot those days..hehe) n he started laughing..n it was so weird coz i cud actually "feel" him laughing..hehe..n even tho i like to maintain that im incapable of blushing i think that that was the one exception wen i went tomato-red from the neck up..n he had such an amused expression on his face..he teased me mercilessly for days on end after that..jerk!!..but now id give anythg to have him tease me like that..just one more time..its weird..out of all the guys iv known..many reminded me of him..in certain terms..but none could replace that mischevious smirk he had forever plastered on his face while teasing me..n god wat a memory he had!!..inhuman..remembered every single teeny tiny lil thing i goofed up in..things even id have forgotten..its like he had a "tease bank" where hed stock up on all this just so he cud make fun of me by recounting them to me wen i would least expect it..it was like his favourite past-time was to try n make my life one living hell..n i loved every freaking minute of it..hehe..

now that i think abt it..i never did get to know wat he ever saw in me..hehe..in all those times we had our "heart-to-hearts" i never once cud find the courage to ask y he chose me..thinking back now dunno y i hesitated..the answer couldnt probably have been as frightening as i was making it out to be..n now that'll forever be one of those lil things il regret..which cant be undone..not now..not ever..oh how i wish he wasnt coming that day..or at least was taking the train like his dad wanted him to..i wish he didnt knw how to drive..i wish his driver wasnt dumb enough to leave him n run off to "scout out" the cause of the jam..i wish he wasnt the oversmart jerk he was who thought he could do anythg he wanted..i wish he wasnt dumb enough not to knw that truck drivers *will* cut u off every chance they get..i wish he would have said something before..i wish everything didnt have to end just in one foolish moment of misjudgement..leaving so much unsaid..but most of all..i wish he really meant it wen he said "see ya this evening"..i wish he had kept that promise..

i knw now that it was just a crush..a passing fancy..n it didnt really take me "forever" to get over him like id thought..but if tht evening he had come..if he'd kept that promise..i think it would have turned out differently..i would probably have been studyin in iit if he got in..or sumwhere in cal..with him..yeah..with him..i might have actually become a "nice girl" (yeah even tho now the very idea gives me the creeps!!)..so iv changed frm back then??..or maybe m still the same bt would have changed had he stayed..well wat can i say..guess he took a bit of me with him wen he left..n left a bit of him inside me.. :)

okee regarding the above..wat shall i call it??..ficlet??..short story??..random crack??..basically a very haphazard account of god only knows what..bit n pieces of this n that joined together making a huge mess..hmmmm..dunno y i even wrote all that up..now..actually had gone off to bed..half n hour of tossing n turning n thinking too much got me up again..guess just had to pen it down or my mind wudnt give it a rest..dunno y tho..maybe an overdose of "bokura ga ita"??..shudnt be tho..totally different..tho it is kinda cute..but probably anythg would be "cute" after the torture that was "school days"..even thinking about it makes me shudder!!

anyway now that its all out..
toodles!!

ps: would give an arm n a leg to have him online now..but guess thats gonna be kinda "difficult" right?? :(

a lil poem...

2007-09-07T03:06:00.000+05:30

just this lil poem..obviously not by me (ha ha..as if!!)..was a dedication to these two x'ters in this "naruto" fanfic i was reading..it'll probably not make too much sense putting it up here just like that..but it goes really well with the fic..the authoress has actually done a superb job at it..really captured sasuke's x'ter perfectly..really hate it when they make him go all OOC n lovey-dovey n stuff..well so..here it is..(n yeah this is from the pov of the girl..n "sasuke-teme's" the one with the "harsh n cruel comments"..oh but of course..hehe..so on ya go!!)

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Argue with me
Is all that you'd do.

I hate you, you hate me
Is all that we'd say,
Every hour and minute
Of every day.

I despised you, I loathed you
With all of my heart.
Your harsh and cruel comments
Tore me apart.

Then one night I found
A note on the floor -
Missing clothes, missing shoes,
A wide-open door.

I dashed through the town
To stop this cruel fate.
But when I arrived,
You were gone; I, too late.

I collapsed on the ground
As it started to rain.
I wondered if I'd ever
Overcome this pain.

Roses will die,
Violets too.
You left before I could say
That I love you...

so..wasn't that quite cute??..just thought id put it up..evn tho its totally random n all..but was kinda too long for a status (ya think!!)..so this was it..

oh n finally changed the songs on this thing..was starting to bug me..been there fr god knows how long..so last night i finally logged into zorpia n hunted down sum jap songs n put 'em up..but man was it troublesome!!..all jap songs were written in japanese..kanji i mean..n wudnt cum up in english searches..mendokuse!!..but alls well that ends well..tho these arent like my absolute favs..but it does have two songs by my darling "pi-tan"..hehe..everytime i listen to them i feel like watching "nobuta" n "kurosagi" again..cant wait for the kurosagi movie now..more yamapi..yiee!!..n "hana yori dango" movie's announced as well..now if only they'd make a "gokusen 3" or a movie or something with shin i cud die happy..hehe..missed "shinkumi" soo much in "gokusen 2" even with my bakanishi as eye-candy..n speaking of akanishi..y on earth has he gone underground even now that hes officially back n all??..i wanna see him in something tooooo!!!

k now lalala vid update..not saved yet..damn movie maker freezes every time..hopefully by next post will b up..if of course permi gets granted by mads n ananya to broadcast it to the world that is..hehe..

so till then..
jaa ne!!

ps: m gonna KILL these ppl who r "moderating" internet here..they actually had the nerve to block veoh too??..as if getting youtube wasnt enough!!..n no songs or movies can be downloaded either..n even a download limit!!..seriously this is going too far..how exactly r we supposed to survive wen ur killing the net like this???? (ok better make that how m "i" gonna survive wen my "lifeforce" is being sucked out of me!!!!!)..cant believe i have to resort to using proxy sites n all to watch stuff now (n of course they've blocked kproxy as well!!)..thankfully they have no idea about the hundred n one other sites i get my stuff from or id reallllly be dead..hehe..

this, that, dreams n la la la vidz..

2007-09-06T23:55:00.000+05:30

exactly like the title says..this n that being my usual spree of anime, random jap stuff n drooling over a chibi yamapi..whos unbelievably cuteeee (had to pause the eps every few secs just to look at him n go "awwwww"..hehe..n he was born an amazing actor apparantly!!..n it also had my bakanishi!!!..chibi cuteness personified..hehe..if i was in an anime/dorama id probably be unconscious due to massive nosebleeds by now :D..before i get carried away into which is probably my ten-thousandth daydream of me n yamapi (..sitting in a tree..k-i-s-s-i-n-g)..ok sorry now that was totally random..hehe..just remembered from this one fanfic i was reading the other day..which would also fall under my "this n that" category..or my "things which induce massive nosebleeds" category as well..hehe..really some of them r just sooo good u freaking forget they arent canon!!!..or u freaking forget wat was canon in the first place..hehe..anyhoo..back to this n that..been spending waaayy too much time doin random netting n pic hunting..n reading doujins..n god r they addicting!! (*nosebleed alert*)..n so are anime/dorama osts..n when both go together..well suffice to say iv been seen floating around a good few feet above ground..n have it on good authority that i sing "weird songs in some apparantly made-up language (aka jap!)" in the shower..n mads n ananya have to bear me spouting random jap stuff to them like all the time..or deal with a very dreamy me with a million watt smile ranting on about how my name in jap is "yamashita emi" (how did that come about i still dnt get btw!!..but who m i to complain wen the results r.....well u get the picture :P)..which apparantly solemnifies my destiny to b married to my dear darling yamapi..or "pi-tan" as i now very affectionately call him..hehe..

well..in other news..got drunk again last saturday..looks like m turning into quite the alcoholic..hehe..but as usual..no effect..but at least better than last time..n waaaay better than wait-wat-was-her-name-again's real orange juice masquerading as screwdriver..hehe..n next time (yes we both are already planning for a "next time") its gonna be that red stuff namita was having..one sip of which was enough for all of us to get that "warm inside" feeling..hehe..so hopefully later on this month or next month or hopefully in the very near future my finally-drunk antics will be chronicled here..hopefully wen i do get drunk i will have someone online to bug or freak out..hehe..no fun otherwise right??..wats the use of getting drunk if noones there to take advantage of it..n m sure that theres at least one guy who would be only too happy to exploit my defences-down-self to extract "valuable information" (watevr that may b..since theres not much that i knw that he wud wanna knw anyway..now if it were the other way round that wud b a totally different matter..but then id probably be the last person he'd talk to wen drunk purely coz of these very reasons..fufufu..if he ever did get drunk that is..which dusnt seem to be a valid option..bt it would be "profitable" if it did happen..hehe)..but then he would probably not try anythg coz he'll be too suspicious that its all an act to make a fool outta him..cant blame him for being cautious now can i..especially after certain..lets just call them "incidents" (if ur reading this subho u knw wat m talkin about..n if ur not subho..well u have no idea wat m talkin abt n i wud rather keep it that way..so there!!)..anyway both the times that i got "drunk" there wasnt anyone to "share" it with..hehe..not like it mattered coz i wasnt really drunk..but it would hav been fun to pretend fr sometime at least..but nopes ppl just seem to disappear any time i actually wanna blab (n no..appearing at 5.30 in the morning dusnt help!!)..but they will sit n bug n bore me to death at every other time..especially wen m at a particularly impt point in one of my animes..seriously..wud i rather see an allen v/s rhode fight or kazuma n ayano not-flirting or chat with random ppl who apparantly think "hi..wassup" chats r the most interesting things on the planet!!..i mean really..if ur online n i havnt messaged u..it doesnt mean im waiting fr u to do the honours..rather that m nt in the mood to blab..or that im too busy to even notice ur online..both of wich boils down to the fact that I DON'T WANNA CHAT WITH U!!..do i really have to have my status as "dnd" to hav a lil peace n quiet??..umm..ok mayb that came out a lil harsher than expected..but then m really pissed at ppl like that..almost as pissed as i am with random "plis franship with me" ppl..not as much as pigeons of course..or gems..hehe..(n no this "no chat" policy of mine does not extend to the few ppl in my life who i wud very much like to spend the rest of my life chatting with if the opportunity shud so arise..so no ananya u dnt need to come crying into my room wen u read this..ur in wat iv termed "the safe zone"..hehe..as for the others in the zone..i trust u knw who u r..or u cud come crying to my room for clarifications :P)

hmmm..so..moving on..updated my profile n lists on these two anime news(?) sites..actually browsed thru ets list n that set me off..(drat that guy fr giving me the list..that too on a sunday morning..made me waste too much time..everyone knws how i get wen i get my hands on a random anime browsing site!!..bt thankfully that got my mind off my damn "boyfriend"..wich i now remember again..dat darn et!!..pisses me off even wen hes not there)..anyway so i updated my lists too..cudnt blv the number of animes id watchd since waaaay back wen i had made the profiles..hehe..but its such a pain to add them all..thank god i cud export the list to the 2nd site..would have died if id actually had to do it over again..but basically i revisited all my old anime favs..watched a few old eps as well..felt soo nostalgic to watch "love hina"..had completely forgotten about good ol' "naru punch"..hehe..n "inuyasha" n "ouran" n all the others..oooohh n it felt soo nice afterwards..

okee now that i scroll up its actually become a reaallllyyyy long entry..n m still stuck on the "this n that" part n havnt even touched on the "dreams n lalala vids" yet..well to get on with it then..dreams..been having these totally realistic dreams lately..yes even more realistic than usual..n thats saying sumthg since most of the times m nt sure wethr wat i recall r real memories or frm sum dream i had sum nite..but these few dreams stand out..n i mean really stand out..n i guess this is wat actually prompted me to click on the lil "new blog" thingy in the first place..before i got sidetracked by my this's n thats..but then iv always been known to deviate..frm anythg..like id start with luking up a new anime title..n end up finishing this completely different anime..n dnt even get me started on deviations during conversations..see??..m doin it again..hehe..so now where was i??..hmm..yess..my dreams..woke up this evening with yet another amazing one..its weird how the best dreams iv had have always been wen i overslept..well rather not deviate onto a discussion on my wacky sleeping patterns now..so again it was a mix of here n kgp n previous "dream worlds"..annual day cum children's nite (again!)..dads office (2nd appearence)..rain (but of course)..the eden gardens circle in cal with wat looked like whitehall in it (m sure that will feature again in one of my other dreams later)..subho (shes a regular guest star now..hehe)..aro (probably a first..not counting the "everyone in class" dreams)..random faceless strangers (i probably knew who they were while in the dream bt right now hav no idea in hell)..something about alibis n sum plan..n a huge snake of anaconda proportions (n that was just totally random..dunno y i was even thinking that!)..well right now writing abt the dream it seems really idiotic..but blv me wen i say it was a gud one wen i was "in" it..thats all fr todays one..but the one i really wanted to write abt lest i forget abt it happened quite a few days back..sumtime last week i guess..one of those times wen i went to sleep in the evening after pulling an all-nighter the day b4..one of those just-crashed-into-bed-dead-to-the-world times..n wow wat a dream i had..better than even my well thought out ones..memory really fuzzy now tho..my grandmoms place (not the first time)..1st floor (now that almost *never* happens)..set in one of my dream worlds..probably part of world of my "picnic trip" dream..same green meadows around the house..slightly hilly..this time with some flowers sumver..but thats nt even close to the gud part..i kinda remm the first half of it being mayb a lil exciting or sumthg..like my usual ones..but wat i really remm really clearly starts frm wen i was in the house..upstairs..doing sum stuff on a table..papers..cards..something..n its getting dark outside..n guess who walks in???..et!!!..random or wat??..n he can apparantly teleport himself..yeah dunno y i knw that or y i even dreamt that..bt probably got sumthg to do with that almost blank first half of the dream..(for ppl who r unaware of my dreaming patterns..i get loads of these weird sci-fi dreams..or just downright crazy dreams where i have "powers"..n yeah m aware that freud wud have had a field day with me..hehe)..anyway so et lands up..with wat can only be termed as a sleeping bag..all nicely folded n in its cover of course..or it mite have been jst a small side-pillow (id rather keep thinkin of it as a sleeping bag..coz i really dnt think id b dreaming of et with pillows..not that m partial to him with sleeping bags either..but then..waaahhhh..just lemme get on with the dream!!)..but thats not really very important..wat was hilarious really was wat he did..apparantly he had been looking fr me all over (actually "everyone" was..since id disappeared after some "incident"..oh how i wish the first half was clearer)..so naturally i got all busy tidying up the table so we cud leave..but lo n behold!..wat does he do??..switch on the tv n put a movie in!!! (yeah now et n movies do go better than pillows rt??..hehe)..so apparantly he now wants to watch the movie..hehe..n it seems that i hav to comply!! (which m probably quite happy to anyway..cmon..papers on a table v/s movie..wich do u think wud win??)..so theres this divan there in front of the tv n m sitting on the floor with my back against it (yeah that used to be my fav pose wen we watched tv upstairs anyway)..so i have to look up slightly to see the screen..n where's et u might ask??..plonked on the table right in front of me..n he now apparantly wants to talk!!..well anyone who knws me evn a lil knows how i get wen sumone blocks my view..n i really dnt need much of a reason to b mad at him anyway rt??..suffice to say that i was emanating some decidedly murderous aura (picture it anime style!!)..n the next thing i knew i was plucked up n put on the divan so i cud watch properly again..wat happened later..well im again a bit fuzzy about it..i still distinctly remm feeling extremely confused with my mind on an eternal "eeeehhhhhhh????"..but i think i watched the movie..(actually y i dreamt up this whole sequence i hav no idea..coz it dusnt really seem to fit into the main dream..but wen i woke up the next day n recalled it i remm i laughed aloud fr 5 full minutes..tho now i have no idea y..dusnt seem all that funny in hindsite..just plain weird n very unnecessary actually)..next clear memory is of me fleeing the house for sum reason (again refer to the blank first half) n getting pulled into someones backyard thru a fence (u knw where one of the panels revolves sumhow n u can get in that way??)..n who do u think pulled me in n most likely saved me from watevr i was running frm??..n this was the best part of the whole dream..guess guess..nothing??..hehe..well il kill all the suspence then..yagami raito himself!!..yep..in all his kira-ness glory..hehe..n since its all AU, hes nt dead (yeah like duuhh!!..its *my* dream..like he'd die there), theres no annoying misa-misa n no freaky perpetually-on-a-sugar-high alphabet-ppl..well come to think of it..theres no ryuk either..or a death note..so probably no kira either..but never mind all that..its enough that raito's there n hes mine..actually m nt quite sure of that last bit coz mads had to find jst that moment to call me fr dinner, waking me up from raito-n-me-drowning-in-each-other's-eyes-goodness (ok mayb thats an overenthu exaggerated mushy fluff..but it cud happen..sumtime..hehe)..basically with that my dream flew away like a feather frm my hands (yes i jst watchd a ff8 amv..n squalls too hot fr his own gud!!)..i did manage to get back to bed within a few minutes but that moment was lost forever..no matter how hard i concentrated..how much i thought n thought n thought abt it..i just couldnt continue the dream..the rest of the night dreamt loads of mini dreams..even one about death note..n again upstairs in my grandmoms place..i was soo sure that i would be able to pick up where i left off..but nopes..turns out i just watched the whole l n raito getting soaked in rain part (the one jst b4 l's death)..but set in the terrace n the balcony of this place..even saw the whole drying off n foot massage part (now that jst screams yaoi!!)..disappointing to say the least..anyway by the time i realised that i was not gonna b able to go back to that dream n finally woke up it was aftee of the next day..n id slept for nearly 20 hours!!..needless to say woke up feeling all hung over (n guilty..fr missing classes..again..hehe)..but wat can i say..once m in one of my dreams reality takes a step backward..n i just plain luv my dreams far too much to come of out it soon..its like watching a movie while sleeping..n most of the times i watch dreams in "episodes" or get "sequels" to particularly gud dreams (fingers crossed fr this one!!)..which makes it seem even more like sum movie..n basically all of them make me feel really nice in the mornings (or wenever i get up actually..hehe) n kinda sad that m awake again..anyway id probably luv to keep on dreaming forever..like i think if i ever went into a coma n started dreaming..id probably never wanna cum back again..is that too demented or morbid??

anyhoo..iv really gotta end this now..probably the world's longest blog..ever..certainly bests all of my previous efforts..n its not even taken me that long..its just been one huge writing spree..hehe..anyway..so this is it..a dreamy (eternally!) highly anaemic (thanks to all my recent nosebleeds) completely crazy (now thats stale news by now i guess) blogger (now that actually sounds tame compared to wat came b4..but wat can i say..m too lazy n muddled to think up something clever..no wait! i did.."la la la"..hmmm..nopes..still too tame..*sigh*) signing off now to get back to her dreams..

jaa ne!!

ps: totally forgot about the la la la vid part..guess thats saved for next time then..this is just waay too long fr me to squeeze that in as well..n theres an "add video" option to blogs too (just noticed!)..so il probably attach the vid itself next time round..once i actually manage to save it that is!! :)

night out!!

2007-08-20T21:05:00.000+05:30

so last night..was our night out..yeah well not exactly in the strict literal sense..but it was night n we ver out..so hell yeah it was our night out!! :D

anyway..last night was freshers' nite.."incandescence"..nice name..nice deco..terrible food..but thats all hearsay..coz we ver out!!..oh yeah!!..out!!..headed for the far beyond armed with a night out pass..to paint the town red sorta..not that jdp presents a very conducive environment for that..n after all we ver all "good lil girls" at heart..hehe..lemme start making sense of all this blabberness (etto..is that even a word??)..anyhoo..basically we didnt wanna go to freshers this time..what with next time being our last year n thus making it an obligation on our presence..hence we decided to ditch it this time n go out n hav some fun of our own..n since we knew that our darling shyamala being the hormonal b**** she is these days would definitely not give permi fr a late out w/o asking like a zillion questions n probably try n coerce us into goin fr freshers..hence the night out stating the official reason as a visit to ananyas place..but as it turned out she wasnt around n we got her hubby to do the dirty work fr us..tee hee!!

okee so me n ghosty went on a lil ahead to do a lil shopping n a lil couriering n a lil packing delicious (n surprisingly cheap!) chopsuey n a lil gorging on d best hot chocolate fudge ever (seriously..the bessssttt!!!)..met this bunch of gems at fun n' food..which made me realise that all our univ gems r probably all from gud ol' jdp!!!..there must b sum gem factory around here sumplace..mass production of gems!!!..i can actually see these countless gems getting "manufactured".."gemness" poured into them..moving around this huuge room on this conveyor belt thingy!!..wow talk abt "fertile imagination"!! (yes that ones fr ur viewing pleasure my dear friend-who-wishes-to-be-identified-as-"xyz")..anyway then we met the others in pizza hut n gorged again..n now they hav pepperoni personal pan too..yiee me!!..took like a tonnnne of pics..m sure the ppl on the next table were giving us real weird looks..oh yeah they've got this new thing on..world food fest or sumthg like that..n with it a new dance like they had in d first few days..hehe..hilarious..hopefully they'll retain it till the next time we decide to grace them with our presence..well we were done pretty early there..n with a permi to stay out as late as v want..dnt need any other excuse now do we..n after our "adventure" the other day we were looking fr a repeat performance..n the wilder the better..so on to geoffreys!!..id been waiting for this day to come fr god knows how long..n finally last night it was fulfilled..drrrrrrrrrr dum dum dum!!!..I GOT DRUNK!!..yiee!! woohoo!! yippie!! woopie doo!!..confetti-in-the-air-
n-all-over-my-nice-hair-which-iv-gotta-wash-now-that-uv-gotten-it-
all-ruined!!..yeah well not exactly drunk..but since my previous forays into the world of drinks has been limited to the strictly medical or experimental or culinary n all provided by my esteemed parents hence rendering it all harmless..therefore i find it proper to christen this time as my official first time..even if it was just one cocktail..with what seemed like negligible amount of vodka..but vodka nevertheless..so yeah finally i did one thing which only an adult can do..legally..wich kids have been doin illegally fr years now..bt lets not go into that now..so me n "xyz" (yes the same one as referred to earlier) had cocktails..while mads n ghosty shared a "muddy water" (sum sorta chocolate shake thingy)..mads n "xyz" had a peanut aiming contest which was depressingly one-sided..n ghosty got high on either that or the miniscule amount of smoke lingering around our table..bottom line the people who actually did drink remained stone cold sober while the one sans even a drop of alcohol in her bloodstream behaved drunk..just one of lifes many lil mysteries..really ironic..n sad fr me coz i was really hoping sumthg wud happen..n was sorely disappointed when it had lesser effect than diluted pepsi..oh well theres always a next time i suppose..so lounged around there for sumtime n finally decided we should be getting a move on around 11.30 or so..a great ride back..just luuuv goin bak late at nite wen its all dark n silent n cool..reached univ jst after midnite..thus ending our "night out"..freshers was still on..but it would be kinda cheap to jump in like that w/o paying jst to dance..n we were dead tired anyway n at least i was in no mood to go tango..so bak to "room sweet room" n "bed comfy bed" fr us..n one ep of haruhi later i was dead to the world..

in other news..these past few days..watched "suzumiya haruhi no yuutsu" aka "the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya"..had heard of this one from many a die-hard haruhi-ist chanting stuff like "haruhi kami-sama desu"..well apparantly its all true..n guess what??..the universe does revolve around her n will end if she gets bored or mad or sumthg..which makes for one hell of a wacky weird totally demented anime..in other words..i luuuuuv it..hehe..so what with haruhi-ism n waiting for the latest eps of my regular animes..n two eps of "hana kimi" (yeah got too bored of sars to upload on cr n ended up watching it on yt itself..cant blv its gonna b ending in like 4 eps or so..gonna miss it..dats like the one bad thing abt jdoramas..they end too soon..hopefully there'll b another season like the tw version)..pretty nice week iv had all in all..

sooo..been writing this one for ages too..time to wind it up..seems like every time i get down to pen sumthg down i invariably have to do a million n one things in b/w..this time it was a trip down to ananyas room to return sum stuff which naturally turned into this looooong adda session (n ur coffee is gr88..there! now thats on record too..so dont go around being all modest abt ur brewing skills..hehe)..n random chat sessions with ppl..n watching this n that in between..checking fr sum updates..so like i said..i manage to drift a lot..like all the time..n now m likely to go into a long drawn-out explanation of sum incident highlighting my drifting abilities to the fullest..thereby drifting away from the main point here..which was to end this thing fr now..

so..jaa mata ne!!
ciao..

in a very crappy mood

2007-08-15T10:02:00.000+05:30

happy independance day!!..60 years since india achieved independance n the only reason i welcome this day is coz i get to sleep in in the middle of the week coz of this..tch tch..tho looks like not this time..up since 3.30 in the morning again..sleep patterns outta whack again these days (along with my patriotic sentiments it seems)..either i sleep jst fr a couple of hours or end up sleeping the whole day and night off..n needless to say every waking second is spent in watching japs..(or indulging in rampant lalala-ness..no dnt ask..in this case ignorance is bliss..)

so its my anime phase again..i get these phases sumtimes when i can watch only doramas or only anime or just read mangas..so right now its anime time..n boy r there sum great new ones floating around..started on "claymore", "zombie loan" n "mushi uta"..each great in its own right n very different.."higurashi no naku koro ni" also deserves special mention being easily one of the freakist animes i hav ever seen..starts out as really innocent n the main xters look really cute n all..but who would have thot that..all i can say is "wow" to whoever thot the plot(s) up..guess its even more freaky coz it was so unexpected from kids with such innocent expressions on their faces..wat else..have been trying to rid myself of all those pending anime on my list i had to watch since god knows when..finally finished "dn angel"..turned out to be nice actually even tho i had gotten pretty bored with it in the middle..

m too much into manga as well now..ever since i read "kakashi gaiden"..bt simply coz it wasnt there in the anime..as a rule i dnt like reading the manga for an ongoing series coz it just spoils it when u watch it..best to read it when the animes ended n the manga continues the story..like in "ouran"..but majorly, been reading "inuyasha"..always been very dissatisfied n disappointed with the anime ending bt was too lazy to check out the manga..watchd a few reruns sumtime bak n caught the bug..n of course cudnt resist reading the next bit of naruto..but thankfully didnt read too much..just a chappy or so..(enough to spoil last weeks ep tho..hehe)..but now everytime i get bored i feel like reading it a bit more..seriously the animes dragging on too much..at this rate it'll take 50 eps more just to get to sai n yamato..so right now whenever i get impatient with an anime i feel like reading the manga..getting really irritating now..at this rate there will be nothng to look forward to in the anime at all..

basically been really bored..yeah dats like d story of my life..bt cant blv i was soo bored that i actually checked out chang's prf again..well also to check wethr he was still in the game or not..now i can happily assure ananya that yes our "idol" is indeed going strong..theres actually a chance that he might win this thing..seems to be everyones fav rt now..hes a great singer..n its certainly helps to be uber cute!!..hehe..anyway so i checked his prf n found his blog..decided to give it a try (boredom talking again it seems)..he actually writes really well..very bookish or travelogue-ish sometimes..but seems like he does have a pretty sarcastic witty side as well..wich is soo not apparant on tv..n apparantly he likes to flirt!!..which brings me to my next point n current major grievance in life (ok maybe thats stretching it a bit..but still..it does piss me off..no not guys who flirt..but guys who....well just read on will ya!!)..jst that i find it really hard to stomach that guys who flirt with gals do not expect the girls to flirt back n when they do they presume it to be some sort of declaration of undying devotion!!..i mean is it that hard to imagine that a girl might also wanna have some fun sumtimes just for funs sake???..if a guy is flirting then its totally for the sake of flirting n nothing else..no strings attached..but the second the girl reciprocates..its to be assumed that shes genuinely interested in him??..yeah it might be so of course..bt is it soo hard to imagine that it might not be so as well??..so i was like really pissed one night n net being too crappily slow i couldnt watch my regular stuff so i went ahead n chatted with this one guy..i had added him thinking him to be someone else..n hed added me..well mayb coz thats the first girl whos ever wanted "franship with him" mayb..hehe..anyway so just that day i asked him who he was coz he had just put up his own pic in the prf n i cudnt recognise him obviously..so we just got to talking..n having nthg better to do, i thot id humour him n chat anyway..turns out he likes anime as well n we also share few similar interests..we chatted fr like the whole night..flirting back n forth..all fun for me n wat i thot for him too..but no sir-eee..the next day i had an offliner saying he wanted to chat again that night..well i certainly didnt mind..he was sorta ok timepass..but wow what a bomb awaited me that nite!!..so apparantly since last nite he hadnt thot of anythg else than me..i thot he was still flirting..fyn by me..i teased him a bit about it saying that i was too busy with sum other guy to be thinking of him..hehe..normal stuff..imagine my surprise wen he got all serious n said that i was "unique" (yeah like i didnt knw dat already!!..tho i am better known as weird than unique exactly) n that we "connected" last night n he was "falling for me"..dialogue straight outta sum soppy movie..i almost gagged at it..i still wasnt serious n teased him for messing around..well turns out hes like all the other guys who cant differentiate between harmless flirting and falling in love..needless to say it was "bbye"..part of me still hopes he was kidding..n bad luck for him if he wasnt..bt who told him to take me seriously wen probably the first thing i told him abt me was that im nevr to b taken seriously unless its a matter of life n death (n even then it depends on whos life or whos death it is!)

so that brings me bak to crappy guys n their crappier take on girls..seriously im fed up with the whole gender itself..morons all of them..wimps..sentimental soppy fools..gale paru-s to the core..n worst of all r the so called "nice guys"..the most boring ppl on earth (more like entire universe!)..n stubborn..so stupidly stubborn that they make me itch to slap..no, bitchslap them!!!..forget the "ideal guy", im yet to find a single specimen of a "guy" at all..whoever said that all the gud ones were either taken or gay was 200% correct!!..seriously makes me wanna become lalala for real..

n yeah if u havnt guessed already m in a particularly pissy mood..nets kinda slow so i cant watch "goong" now..n theres only a few eps left n i was right in the middle of one too!!..usually nets real fast in the mornings at least..but been real crappy since last evening..hence my bad mood..i hav a good mind to pound someone right now..break a few skulls or so.. :x

well seems like iv been writing this piece forever..already been over 2 hours since i started..watched an ep of "sola" in b/w..so far so good..read my old posts..cant blv i actually wrote stuff like that bak wen i started out blogging..hehe..guess il b thinking almost the same while reading this post few months frm now..hehe..anyway this has been dragged on enough..

bbye till the blogger "mushi" takes me over again..
ciao..

for want of a title (actually for want of a less lazy blogger!!)

2007-07-22T19:38:00.000+05:30

its 6 am on a sunday morning n im jobless enough to b blogging!!..actually iv been meaning to get back to this for quite sum time now..days..weeks..months even..but as usual my laziness proved to be quite a formidable barrier..hehe..anyway back now..hopefully for good this time..n whats happened to me in the meantime??..well..in one word..JAPS!!!..wish i could put it up in huuuge blinking neon lights but thats nt quite my taste n would ruin the whole charm of this rather muted theme..hence bold caps would hav to do :)

so thats it..jap mania has swept me up n blown me away..i mean i know iv been watching few anime stuff here n there for years now..but never was i this obsessive..n much more than anime, its jdoramas..god knows how many hours i devote to it these days..regular movies remain unseen in my comp for days now..cant blv iv still got "oceans 13" rotting!!!!..n iv been meaning to watch it for ages now..took me 2-3 weeks to watch "potc 3" even!!..but heaven forbid that an episode of "hana-kimi" gets released n i dnt watch it within the hour!!..bt then cant really blame me can ya..after all no hollywood hero can quite match up to the gorgeously cute jap bishies out there..yamapi, akanishi, oguri n the others..even writing abt them makes me go "aaaaahhhhhhh" inside..hehehehe..gotta luv japs..wat with the way they luk..sing..dance..act..oooohhh lemme think of sumthg else b4 i get carried away n start writing really indecent stuff now..hehe..anyway there are all these amazing jap dramas n movies iv been lapping up..not to mention korean n taiwanese stuff as well tho m not exactly quite as maniacal about those..tho "goong", "devil beside you" n "why why love" are among my "fav drama" list..cannot match up to the likes of "hana yori dango", "nobuta wo produce", "kurosagi" or "gokusen" of course..

n anime toh is always there.."naruto shippuuden" n "bleach" remaining my only on-air favs at present.."death note" having ended..tragically so..though i knew what was gonna happen it was still a shock..no more raito..waaaaahhhhhhh..*sniff sniff*..tho "bleach" is going rapidly down the drain with these dratted fillers..seriously this weeks was the dumbest..shinigami baking a cake???..a cake!!!!..really..what next!!..thankfully narutos showing sum good stuff..when its showing at all that is!!..but then the mangas not that far off..tho i sooooo wanna see the whole sasuke killing oro stuff..its killing me having to restrain myself from reading the manga..thankfully they'll show some substantial portion of the sasori-sakura-chiyo battle this week (he is quite cute tho in his real body ne??..hehe)..oh n started on "fma" as well..quite good really but its a pain to find the original jap version with only the dumb english dub being circulated everywhere..

anyway so that in short..make that very verrrrrry short..describes the past few months of my life..apart from the usual events in d univ..boring classes..funny profs..crazy frnds..crazier me!!..that is..the usual..hehe..oh yeah..shasthri!!..your greatness himself is taking our criminal law hons. classes for yours truely!!..amazing ne??..n guess who i have to keep me company??..ok..ready??..now with bated breath..tada!!..gas (got quite a reputation he has..tho he hasnt been quite such a pain as id been expecting from what everyone had warned me abt..n hell is it soo much fun teasing him with shasthri!!!..hehe..)..snehdeep (one guy who knows his stuff..when his stuff is criminal law)..n shavii (a frnd at least!)..n no its nt the people thats the problem..its the density of population thats more my concern..man is it hard to switch off during his class when all he does is stare at u as he teaches!! (for the ill-informed..there is little else u can do in vss's class than switch off if u r to survive the hour..or in some cases, if ur hair is to survive the merciless pulling u are sure to subject it to b4 long..n yes he stares at me..like all..the..freaking..time!!..dnt even remind me of the whole "can i call u leena" stuff..really where does he come up with stuff like this??)..n as gas refuses to duck out from behind watevr hes hiding he has noone else to turn his gaze towards than me (one day il actually go sit behind him n see what he does..hmph!!)

sooo..i know im missing a lot out here..n i really wanna write more..soo much more..abt stuff..happenings..this n that..bt its like 7 now..n i really really REALLY need to go sleep..even for a saturday nite..err sunday morning..its pretty late..very late actually..hehe..

ja..mata ne..
ciao..

ps: read the last hp book friday nite..amazing..thankfully it didnt suck like i feared..jkr probably couldnt hav asked for a better finale..tho yes lotr still reigns supreme in my heart..hehe..

my first convocation!!

2007-01-24T03:05:00.000+05:30

so yesterday was the first convocation for nlu..(n for me as well since i never went for the iit ones n wudnt be allowed anyway..hehe)..the empty field had been transformed with pandals n tents n what-not..initially looked kinda marriage pandal-ish what with all the multi-coloured stuff n red n garish wall pics all over..finally tho it actually turned out to look quite decent by jodhpur standards..hehe..guess its gud to have a low opinion eh??..anyway the experience itself was not quite at par with what we thought it would be like..the degree giving n the gold medal thingy was over before u knew it..tho the seniors did look quite nice with the whole convo get-up..the black robes n sashes n the caps!!..but most hilarious was what all the dignitories n all had to wear..red velvet!!..n gold tassels hanging..couldnt believe they actually had a "robing ceremony" for all this..now i do!!!..wish they had allowed cams in tho..would hav taken sum priceless shots..hehe..

anyway the worst part was the neverending stream of the most boring boring BORING speeches by every possible boring person on earth..that too when essentially everyone said the same things over n over n over again..cant they have just gotten over with sumthing like "heyy..congrats dudes n dudettes..wish u all the best in life and make the univ proud"..but nooo!!!..one has to talk all about what law is and what lawyers should do and shouldnt do and a bunch of other irrelevant stuff in between about the state of the country n the youth's duty n blah n blah n blah!!!..in as boring a voice as possible..we felt sooooo sleepy..hehe..n on top of that it was too hot in our formals (thank god they didnt stress on the tie!!..would have died with that noose around my neck..hehe)..but overall not bad..n of course the "high tea" was the best..hehe..must have boiled joshijis blood to see us all gobbling down stuff without handing over coupons..hehehehe..

the most awsum part of the convo tho was the holiday today!!..the first time ever in history that nlu has declared an extra holiday for no real reason (for ppl who dont knw..we dont believe in the concept of hols for saraswati puja or bose bday anniversary)..as it is classes got cancelled yesterday after 10 (officially then..but thanks to pkp's absence n ap singhs generosity..no classes at all!!!)..so sunday to tuesday total off..(tho marred by a dumb ad law project..not that i really devoted much time to it..hehe)..not to mention this looong weekend!!..so the best week ever..hehe..n if we manage to get 27th an unofficial off-day like 1st jan, i might still be able to hop off to del for the weekend!!!..yieeee..well heres to hoping..

anyway so me getting back to 'bleach" (my current anime obsession..its really good tho)..n maybe a movie or two later!!..

ciao for now..

they're taking the hobbits to isengard!!!!

2007-01-16T12:53:00.000+05:30

long time no see eh??..well kinda fell outta the habit of blogging these days..been stuck on watchin all these anime streaming vidz..n "boston legal" season 3 (which kinda sucks btw..)..plus a lot of other interesting stuff on net..heres a choice collection of some of my recent "eye candy"!!

mads told me about this hilarious vid on youtube.."how lotr should have ended"..amazing!!!!!..seriously it makes much more sense..hehe..i mean really it does!!..refutes the whole purpose behind the whole book itself..hehe..gotta check it out yourself.........

really..wasnt that sooooo much more easier??????..what was tolkein thinking right!!! (probably turning in his grave at this very moment!!..hehe)

now while searching for this..i kinda veered into other segments relating to lotr..n came up with a collection of comments or jokes..set to all these situations..(n very serious situations too i might add..hehe..)..we laughed our guts out at this one..to the ones in the know, legolas (aka "lego" or "legsie") should remind you of a certain person from my batch..n to all the ignorant - its ananya nath..really the resemblance is so uncanny its not even funny!! (now if you're reading this ananya..plz plz plz i implore u not to kill me just yet..in a manner of speaking, u should actually be grateful..i am after all putting u on the map so to speak!!..shouldnt it satisfy your narcissitic tendencies???????..ok if that sincere appeal didnt work..plz plz pretty plz??..*cute doggy eyes*)..ok so even tho some of these are extremely dumb..it is watchable or even bearable only for those small snippets into our dear beloved princess ananyas heart..hehehehe..hence watch only in that context and keeping her in mind (there u go ananya..anyone watching this will now be thinking of you..only you..satisfied???.. :D)

last but definitely not the least.."they're taking the hobbits to isengard!!!"..an amazing song based on the lotr series..thats all that can be the description..beyond this any hints would let out the surprise element (which believe me you dont wanna lose at all!!)..suffice is to say that mads, ananya n i went totally nutty after one go at this..n this was last night..the others we saw saturday evening..mads n i..when "i see you" went unseen..hehe..n net wouldnt cooperate enough for us to watch a complete movie on youtube (for the enquiring minds..yes we are jobless n desperate..so much so as to look for movies on streaming media..hehe..)..spent half the night laughing..n i got one of my "fits"..with good cause i may add..hehehehe..so anyway back to the vid..i had seen it while browsing on saturday..but we really "watched" it last night..n anyone who saw us at class today got a first hand experience of its after-effects..hmmmm..lets just say that "what did you say?" is a question you should keep well away from..for a looooong looooong time to come..hehe..seriously we went demented!!!..and i dont mean the usual mild craziness type..it was like hellllooo bizzzzarrrrro worldddd..hehe..ppl actually turned to stare back at us!!!..so here it is..the most amazingly made video ever..n i do mean ever!!!!!

disclaimer: it is adviseable to watch these videos once..and only once..preferably with friends..n a wacky sense of humour is absolutely essential..(a normal sense of humour would also do i guess)..n if u know me, mads n ananya (n especially ananya)..well then this should be a treat..hehe..enjoy!!

toodles till next time..
ciao..

ps: dunno what possessed me to post videos this time..highly unlike me..n that too such weird ones..but then blogging for me has always been kinda impulsive..n i hadnt really blogged in some time..and this seemed to be the best way to explain my absence..so anyway..hope ya had fun!!

spirited away....

2007-01-06T12:44:00.000+05:30

a simple yet touching story..told in the simplest way..spirited me away into that world..just finished yet another anime masterpiece "spirited away"..one which i had heard a lot about but never got the chance to watch..from the synopsis of the story-line, didnt really seem all that gr8..but only once u watch it can u actually begin to grasp the brilliance of it..n here m talking about the original jap version with subtitles..(so dunno how the english dub turned out even if it did win an oscar..)..even now if i were to write a review right here n now it would seem to be lacking..its one of those movies which u dont want to end..which leave an odd emptiness inside when the credits start to roll..n wow what a soundtrack!!..n especially the ending song..very well performed..again very simple but powerful nonetheless..the lyrics, both japanese as well as the translated meaning in english, are very touching..here it is..

Itsumo Nando Demo

Yondeiru Mune no Dokoka Okude
Itsumo Kokoro Odoru Yume wo Mitai

Kanashimi wa Kazoekirenai kedo

Sono Mukou de Kitto Anata ni Aeru

Kurikaesu Ayamachi no Sonotabi Hito wa
Tada Aoi Sora no Aosa wo Shiru

Hateshinaku Michi wa Tsuzuite Mieru keredo
Kono Ryoute wa Hikari wo Dakeru

Sayonara no Toki no Shizukana Mune
Zero ni Naru Karada ga Mimi wo Sumaseru

Ikiteiru Fushigi Sinde Iku Fusigi
Hana mo Kaze mo Machi mo Minna Onaji

Yondeiru Mune no Dokoka Oku de
Itsumo Nando demo Yume wo Egakou

Kanashimi no Kazu wo Iitsukusu yori
Onaji Kuchibiru de Sotto Utaou

Tojiteiku Omoide no Sono Naka ni Itsumo
Wasure takunai Sasayaki wo Kiku

Konagona ni Kudakareta Kagami no Ue nimo
Atarashii Keshiki ga Utsusareru

Hajimari no Asa Shizuka na Mado
Zero ni Naru Karada Mitasarete Yuke

Umi no Kanata niwa Mou Sagasanai
Kagayaku Mono wa Itsumo Koko ni

Watashi no Naka ni Mitsukerareta Kara...........

Always with Me

Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
May I always be dreaming, the dreams that move my heart

So many tears of sadness, uncountable through and through
I know on the other side of them I'll find you

Everytime we fall down to the ground we look up to the blue sky above
We wake to it's blueness, as for the first time

Though the road is long and lonely and the end far away, out of sight
I can with these two arms embrace the light

As I bid farewell my heart stops, in tenderness I feel
My silent empty body begins to listen to what is real

The wonder of living, the wonder of dying
The wind, town, and flowers, we all dance one unity

Somewhere a voice calls in the depths of my heart
Keep dreaming your dreams, don't ever let them part

Why speak of all your sadness or of life's painfull woes
Instead let the same lips sing a gentle song for you

The whispering voice, we never want to forget,
In each passing memory always there to guide you

When a miror has been broken, shattered pieces scattered on the ground
Glimpses of new life, reflected all around

Window of beginning, stillness, new light of the dawn
Let my silent, empty body be filled and reborn

No need to search outside, nor sail across the sea
'Cause here shining inside me, it's right here inside me

I've found a brightness, it's always with me................

ringing in 2007!!

2007-01-01T15:12:00.000+05:30

so here we are again..new year's eve..the end of yet another year..seems like it all passed in a flash..wasnt it just yesterday that we were wishing each other "happy new year 2006"???..n in just a few more minutes i'll be joining the mad rush to wish my friends..hehe..time really is flying too soon..n looking back, there isnt much in particular that was different this time round either..same ol' univ..same kinda studies..same kinda fun..same friends..nothing seems to change other than the date each day..guess all the "eventful life" stuff happens only in sitcoms or movies in which everything seems to change even within that one season..hehe..

so what exactly am i doing in at such a time like this??..how cum im so jobless as to be actually blogging rather than partying n painting the town red..hehe..sitting in my room with a motherload of pizzas n garlic breads n an assortment of movies..while there is extra-loud music blaring outside my door n ppl bursting crackers all over the place!!!..not that i didnt go out or enjoy at all..no sir-eee..dinner at pizza hut (the only place which wasnt hosting some "fancy" - read "waaay too pricey" - new year booze party) with the gang..a very fun evening..but nothing particularly "new year-ish" if u knw what i mean..hmmmm..

okay..yeah so this took too long..n now its past midnite..so happy new year ppl!!!!!!..joined the mad rush to wish n be wished in turn..lingered with friends n exchanged gossip yet again..as we seem to do anytime we get together even if we have the world's most important xam the next day!!!!..hehe..so now its 1.26 n m finally back to blogging again..cant believe i started at 11.45 or so for what i thought would be an extremely small blog account..hehe..actually, it is a very small blog by my standards at least..considering that almost everytime i sit down to write something, i end up typing up this huge manuscript or something..hehe..

anyway..so guess i should go back to my movie(s)..tho there are maybe a few things at the back of my mind which i do wanna write about but m just too lazy to dig into now..hehe..hmmm..well..a very happy new year to every other jobless person reading this "peice" which can only be a level or two above total crap..heres to writing better blogs in the new year!!!..hehe..

goodnight n good luck..
ciao..

ps: oh this turns out to be my 1st post of 2007!! :)

THE MOST AWESOME BIRTHDAY EVER!!!

2006-12-26T12:12:00.000+05:30

25th Dec' 2006...today i turned 21..nthg much changed since yesterday i guess..except that now i can legally buy drinks..not that that lil technicality stops others..hehe..

so anyway..my budday started with what should only be called "midnite madness"!!!..a lovely chocolate cake (really pretty cake) lit with a candle "side dish" (this is when we dont really have any proper bday cake candles n have to make do with normal ones..placed on something beside the cake so as to not mar it in any way..) on my new candle stand (thats exactly what i needed..now no more candles in bowls n plates!!!!)..normal bday song apart..doel did the honours by singing anything and everything..god she can go sooo crazzzzzzzy at times..hehe..the funniest was to try n click pics of me feeding cake to my friends..its just soo weird holding the cake just in that position till the pic is taken..hehe..sum pretty fantastic pics with hands here n necks cricked this way n that!!!..anyway so some cake smearing ensued (which i dont get the point of..as in why would anyone wanna waste such nice cake!!!..hehe..)..n more pics of me running to wash it off before a really embarrassing pic could be taken..n being victorious in the venture :P ..oh n ghosty, mads n ananya got me such a pretty bandhani sari..i had been cribbing about one for some time now..convocation n farewell this sem n i couldnt buy a nice sari back home..cho chweet of them to get this fr me..biscuit coloured (i guess thats what its called anyway) with a dark maroon border with little gold in it..all thin n light..just like how i wanted..at first i thought it was a churni or maybe some dress material or something..was quite a surprise to find it was a sari..n its soo soft too.........ookk well sorry to go on n on like that..hehe..

well..so the "party" wound down..n i ended up chatting n orkutting..n of course..how can i forget our new beloved "greys anatomy"..hehe..wow tonight to there seemed to be no end to the thnx scraps i sent out..hehe..well nt that im complaining of anything..but scrapping sooo many people..im just soo glad for that scrapping from own s/b thing..saved me from having to open each individual scrapbooks..

so that brings us to this morning..and day..which ended up being one of the best bdays i can remember!!..all thanks to my frnds who were soo kind enough to tolerate me n my very entertaining (!!!) "amazing" jokes (i hope ur reading this ghosty n mads..hehe)..hmmm..so we went out for lunch in otr (n waited 2 hrs for princess ananya n deeksha to land up!!..they actually came in while we were paying the bill..hehe)..n then some window shopping..bought gifts for kart's bday (which was on 4th n who suddenly landed up this aftee when we were expecting him some two days later!!..hence the mad rush..hehe)..anyway..next stop: mehrangarh!!..in an effort to culturally enrich ourselves..hehe..n what an experience that turned out to be..cute-guys-in-blue-shirts-n-over-enthu-strange-women-who wanna-take-their-pics!!!..god that was sooo nutty..with mads n dixy screaming around about how cute n hot this one foreigner was n wanting me to take his pic so that we could "immortalise" him!!..n now on top of that some woman lands up wanting to take his pic too!!!!!..guess thats what knocked some sense into those two who quickly sobered up..hehe..but that woman was sooo hilarious!!!..so we went up the elevator (after a loooonnnggg wait in the queue) to the museum..n walked all the way down..stopping at every opportunity to take all these really unusual pics..most came out really well tho..n then the guards (?) got mad coz we "blocked the traffic"..hehe..but the other people started copying our poses n they finally gave up i guess..hehe..we took these really impossible but really cute pics..all hanging outta windows..posing with canons (mads, ananya n me firing it with dixy getting "blown apart"..hehe)..oh this that n the other..hehe..probably will put up the pics on orkut tomm if i upload them by then..had a wonderful time..the guards had to practically push us out i think..hehe..

back to the univ..all spent..feet screaming..n back to the windfall of mails!!!!!..time for the fingers to scream now..hehe..well its high time i got some dinner in me..n enriched myself with a few more eps of "greys anatomy" yet again..

ciao for now..(hey that rhymes!!!) :D

back to the grind..

2006-12-19T08:35:00.000+05:30

cant believe the vacation is over!!..seems too soon that m back here..n i cant believe that i havent blogged in suchhh a looong time..but then this time i was more of a tv couch potato type than comp chair potato!!..anyway started on some really good serials..loads of movies (but of course..hehe)..n watched too much "full house" n disney channel stuff..hehe..well so thats that..bt right now having the time of my life finishing off a whole pkt of "celebrations"..n with net n lan, its almost worth it being sem time again..hehe..

anyway so today was my first day of VIth sem..and as all other first days, no real classes..just intro sessions n stuff..started late n left early - in short, my kinda day!!..hehe..had the vc lecturing us about this n that..n with jasleen making funny comments from behind, it was sooo hard to maintain a straight face..that too with shasthri staring us down!!..hehe..m sure he thought it was either ananya or me..oh well like that matters anyway!!..as it is all his lectures are the same and full of utter crap..n its awesome fun to pass comments all the time..hehe..but then we are in general a very "commenty" kinda group..the poor guys who are unfortunate enough to sit in front of us in movie theatres get regular doses!!..

well, nothing more to write right now..switched to blogger beta..lets see how that works out..doesnt look all that different except for a few minor format changes..

home sweet home!!

2006-11-14T07:20:00.000+05:30

ahhhhh finally m back..after what surely is an eternity..at least feels this way..hehe..n such a lotttt has happened since my last post that i quite seriously dunno where to begin..all that last-min-everything-needs-to-be-done-right-now types..assignments, vivas, presentations, moots..n then mom came to visit n my netting was cut down considerably..especially hit was this as my creative juices ran dry..hehe..n just like that - plonk!! - the xams were there..n again just like that - poof!! - gone!!!..before i knew it i was on the homebound train..n its like a second after that that im here now..almost the end of the first proper day into my vacation (not counting those mindless hours in the train..which i slept off most of the time anyway..to the detriment of my multifarious aches n pains..hehe..

so well..the start of another vacation..n tho can guarantee that il b heartily bored by the end of it..but at least now the feelings fresh n m sooo gonna revel in it..

heres to loadsa fun!!
ciao..

jaan-e-mann...

2006-10-24T12:16:00.000+05:30

went for this last evening..(actually supposed to go during diwali time..but somehow never made it..hehe..)..so yesterday..major diwali hangover..almost no classes..dead bored in the evening..hence the movie thing..just for a lark..shavii was supposed to come with me but that got scrapped in the last min (her loss as it turns out now..n boy was she madd last night..oopsie..hehe..)..so pataod shanu bhaiya finally (even tho he was partial to "don"..which id already promised id go with mads n the gang for the treat thing..actually well even i had certan misgivings at first abt this..but as it turned out..)..hehe..anyway it actually turned out to be good..one salman movie i didnt balk or gag at..interestingly made..its obvious that the director went nutts in the first half..hehe..refreshingly n surprisingly not a total lift from some hollywood flick (tho there is a total carbon copy of this one scene from "win a date with tad hamilton"..the six smiles thing..but since most of the population has no idea about the original anyway so guess not many caught on..hehe..)..total time-pass fun movie..second half had the predictable tears n stuff..but then thats indispensible..all in all..wacky crazy but at least not a total waste of time like "kank"..hehe..n thankfully..no srk or big b around.. :D

in other news..classes getting cancelled right, left n centre..hehe..which is gr88 of course..even today had just one class so far..with the prospect that the two left might get either cancelled or at least shortened to a considerable degree..hehe..n with tomorrow as a holiday again..yieeee!!!!!!..hehe..thinking of going for "don"..gotta take some advantage outta the hols right..if not, then sunday is always there..hehe..anyway..outta here now..planning on squeezing in a movie before heading out for the next class..

until then..
ciao..

unimaginably bored.........

2006-10-22T04:58:00.001+05:30

5.30 pm....
extremely bored..mostly coz m supposed to be going out at 6.30..and its just 5.30..which means i have an hour to kill and nothing in particular to kill it with..this must be what is termed as the "diwali slump"..hostels almost empty..n the mess has quit making anything remotely festive to hold me here..city-food beckons n here i come....................

9.00 pm....
still have the slight aftertaste of being bored..hehe..back from my expedition for the quest for good food..now armed with noodles, manchurian, tarts n rum balls..soft drinks as well..(oh yes of course we got it all packed..dont wanna miss the fireworks "show" in the univ now do we..hehe..actually..more like dont wanna get caught in the crossfire..)..well the room is all cleaned..with lil diyas outside the door for fancy stuff..(should see shikhas deco..wow!!)..no candles or diyas in the balcony this time tho :( ..for one, the chiks would have to be removed (no biggie that..)..but more importantly..the family of pigeons currently hanging up "home sweet home" posters in my balcony would rather not be migrated..hehe..

feeling extremely sleepy tho..stayin up 24 boring hours sucks..hehe..maybe il chuck the fireworks n just sleep it through..as it is, not missing much..as is evident from the view from my very convenient balcony..guess will continue when m up next..hehe..

n boy is it annoying to write fifty million zillion gazillion "thnx..wishing u a very happy diwali as well" scraps to what seems like every person on planet earth..with maybe a few martians n krptonians thrown in for good measure!!!!!!

4.40 am....
up again n one rum ball later..still bored..watching "the punisher"..regular pow-wow bang-bang vigilante style action flick..had a kgp dream again..weird how places seem to blend together somehow..school n univ mix-up..hehe..but quite fun..saw shasthri trying to teach physics in school!!!!!!!!!!..n get ragged mercilessly..n him replying with his regualar siddhu-type dialogues..hehe..peppered with a liberal dosage of "calm down shasthri".. :D ..total laugh riot that guy..in the middle of it however jain sir materialised n wanted the class back..n also that other woman who taught us physics in Xth..n for some time before him in XIth..forgot her name..anyway so these three start arguing as to who is better qualified to take the class!!!!!..nothing could be funnier..hehe..pity dont remember the result tho..

anyway..back to the movie for me..lets see if sunday is any better.. :)
ciao..

dandiya nite!!

2006-10-14T23:58:00.000+05:30

the grand finale..a fitting culmination to the cultural week..creations '06..a brilliant week of fun n games..hehe..hats off to the scc!!..n whoever came up with the whole theme idea..pure genius!!..the mess was like entertainment central every night..all those events..singing..dancing..mad-adz..the awwwwsumm mimicry..pola n arnav rocked!!!..truly..n with me having fam law moot the next day..n that too with arnav only as opposing counsel!!..thank god i didnt laugh outright at monos "ok pliz"..hehe..but seriously..guess even zafeer wasnt as funny as those two (n he is funny believe me..a total cartoon..dunno why he didnt go with his trademark shasthri gig tho..)..they brought the house down..really they did..the whole univ was in uproar!!..unbelievable..

anyway..so dandiya nite..held in the mess this time..n surprisingly on a friday..n even more surprisingly..free!!..hehe..guess not many were all that interested tho..n after being up fr 24 hrs making a damn memo, neither was i..as in..who would wanna spend hours getting ready..that too in ethnic!!..n dancing when i was already tired enough to drop dead??..no waaayyy..in fact..till about 8.30 last nite..i was totally sure i wouldnt be going..even mads, ghosty n all were not too keen on it..but then wham bam!!..dunno what hit everyone..n amazingly suddenly i found that i was in fact going!!..really this was the most impromptu party iv ever gone to..the mad rush to get ready!!..n god! the pain of accessorizing!!!!..hehe..n then again half the population doesnt know how to wear a sari..not to forget our dear darling ananya whos affair with the mirror will go down in history most likely..hehe..was nothing short of a miracle that we even reached the mess by 10.00..hehe..but not late tho..not by a loooong shot..the "show" went on till 1.00 am!!..we toh were back by midnight..by which time i really was almost dead..n damned inconvenient dancing in the sari..actually dancing western in the sari..n with a digicam hanging from the wrist no less!! :D ..speaking of cams..yesterday was like a photoshoot out there..god knows how many pics i took..mostly posed..n sum candid shots..it was like click-click-click snap-snap-snap..anyway managed to have loads of fun..n a lott of dancing..hehe..soooo..dandiya was great..tho we didnt really end up dancing much dandiya..managing those dandiya sticks on top of everything else..n protecting fingers from getting amputated as well..hehe..no mean feat..

so well..i had this ridiculous urge to get sloshed last nite..(guess what..turns out deeksha did get totally hammered..hehe)..but i like the good lil girl i am settled for rum balls instead..my current fetish it seems..cant seem to get enough of 'em..taaassttyyyy..well getting late..thinking of catching a movie before "embracing the blessed oblivion of dreamland"..

hokay then!!..tada.. :P
ciao..

zsa zsa zsu...

2006-10-12T13:49:00.000+05:30

zsa zsa zsu..aka that special something that gives you butterflies in the stomach..its supposed to be associated with guys..hot guys actually..as in when u see this really smouldering guy walk by..n u like step on the brakes..inadvertantly causing a multiple car crash..n u still got eyes only for that smoking hot guy??..hehe..but woah woah..why write about that since it wouldnt apply to me anyway..havnt even seen even a remotely hot guy outside of movies or tv..let alone while driving..n since the only place i have driven in is kgp..which hasnt yet seen the advent of even a single hot guy in centuries (not in my lifetime at least..that i can vouch for)..and is not likely to in the near future as well..so guess one can safely rule out any hot guy induced car crashes from my to-do list..hehe..seriously i have no idea why iit guys bemoan the lack of girls on campus..not like there are any great looking guys around either!!

anyway..back to zsa zsa zsu..(i kinda like the sound of that..the alliteration maybe??)..so well..i would more attribute it to the new relationship feeling..when the little things matter..like him holding the door open for u the first time..the accidental brush of fingers while reaching for the bucket of popcorn..that "look across the room"..holding hands for the first time..y'know..cute stuff like that..which somehow take on a special meaning in those first few days..n those who can make that last..well therein lies the true magic..in other words..zsa zsa zsu...............anyway im not the best qualified person to be talking about that either i guess..so on to yet another definition..

hmmmm..well..for me (well at least till the above comes true..highly unlikely though that is..) it would have to be........while mooting..actually not exactly while mooting..just before it begins to be exact..once you've bowed to the judges but havnt yet launched into it..you're just a teensy bit nervous..but this is the zsa zsa zsu of anticipation..you know that once the words start coming out its gonna be alright..15 mins never seems so short..then again..those moments before some result is announced..or when test answer-sheets are distributed..thats the zsa zsa zsu of expectation..then there are those countless cricket match finishes..hehe..also..how can i forget those nailbiting novels..or even movies..plenty of butterflies-in-stomach moments in those..hehe..

anyway..right now just too dog tired to write any more..n have a visit to the forensic lab in the morning..gonna be spending half the day walking around..off to bed i go..so..this is bbye..
ciao..

ps: creations goin on in the univ..cultural week..it rocks..really!!..great events..n the dress codes n themes..niiiicee!!!..n now plans are on for a full fledged law college fest next sem..hope that goes tip-top..now this feels like a real college..woohoo!!!

titleless

2006-10-08T00:58:00.000+05:30

sunday again..well so same old story..only significant (?) difference..m getting up early now..(for the ones basking in ignorant bliss..that means m up before noon..hehe..)..but seriously..m waking up at all odd hours of the early (make that verrrry early) morning..which is a huge pain-in-the-a$$ really..coz now i have to feed myself something at like 4.00 am!!..that too when im feeling most particularly laaaazzzzyyy..m steadily getting heartily sick of biscuits n (would u believe it?) chocolates!!..

so anyway..watched "woh lamhe"..good story..kinda the powerful kind..n the girl really can act..n shiney ahuja plays second fiddle most of the time..cant blame him though..the movie is all about kangana..but they make a nice couple onscreen..

well..went out last evening with shanu bhaiya..just for a lark..saturday evening..food n movie trip sorta..hehe..n as usual we dilly-dallied here n there..always end up doing so when m out on a bike..hehe..so we had like 5 mins to get back (ya well OTR always did take too much time in packing food)..we were like really really late..n had like 16 kms to make up in 5 mins..so 8.55 pm n no permi..hehe..i knew i wouldnt get a notice or anything..but then why take the chance..anyway so that return trip was gorgeous..exhileratingly fast!!..oh to feel that cool wind blowing through your hair..i just luuuuuuv fast rides..the faster the better..bikes or cars..especially at nights..dark dark nights..with the moon up (n last nights sight was a beauty..really..especially the full moon over the umed palace..wow!!)..clouds floating around..n to top it off, some nice music if its a car..(if its a bike you pretty much cant hear anything over the screaming wind anyway..hehe..)..so anyway..made it back by 09.07 pm!!!..pretty good eh??..hehe..n that too after being stuck in stupid senseless jodhpur traffic..clear sailing after we hit the highway of course..god i love that stretch..

so in other news..nets been acting up again..connects only during late nights n early mornings n stuff..works for me of course..but anyway..damn pissing off having to reload a page ten times for it to connect..hate that "problem loading page" thing..aaarrrggghhh!!!!!!..n iv got a hectic week of moots n projects staring at me..guess there'll be a lotta muttered curses then..

guess this is it for now..
ciao..

ps: rum balls..one word for them..yummmmmmmm!!!!!

pyar ke side effects

2006-10-06T04:50:00.000+05:30

cant believe that i actually sat through an entire mallika sherawat movie without flinching (or visualizing my sisters face if she saw this!!)..i must say i had my reservations about watching it..but it actually surpassed my (albeit extremely low) expectations..of course i was hoping that the presence of rahul bose wouldnt disappoint me..but then any movie which boasts of ms. sherawat in its starcast..well id pretty much rather give it a miss..it was a pleasant surprise hence, when i actually recieved pretty nice reviews of this..its appearence on lan the next day was like a sign..hehe..anyway long story short..it wasnt a total waste of time..so yes its cliched a bit..n the songs could have been done away with..(really what is it with bolly movies n irrelevant songs???)..but it actually was quite funny..and no regular cheapo mallika stuff if u know what i mean..traces of "meet the parents", "notting hill" etc etc dozen other hollywood movies..but it all fell into place nicely..i wouldnt call it a brilliant movie or a must-watch or anything..but nice time-pass kind flick..worth it..

next in line.."woh lamhe"..n this time i have pretty high expectations after "gangster"..lets see if it can live up to it..love the songs already..hope i like the movie..

ciao..

nostalgic..

2006-10-02T02:06:00.000+05:30

well m in a weirdly senti mood this nite..hav loads to do..also well-stocked on movies n stuff..but feel like just staring into thin air..hehe..see??..m totally crazy..missing pujas like anything..come to think of it..while i was at home, i wasnt particularly interested in all those pandal hopping sprees..everyone dressed up like they are going to some marriage party in the middle of the day..loudspeakers blaring away some dumb songs at ear-splitting volume..all those traffic jams n one-way roads milling with soo many people the car always got stuck..hehe..detested it all then..n was soo impatient..n now..id give anything to be there..weird eh??..the roads here seem soo empty when i know that the cal roads will have all those huuuge light things..no atmosphere here..the pujo-pujo bhab thats unique to only cal..

but what i miss the most is our own puja at our place..how our whole family used to come together for it..n the house would invariably fall short of space..il be sleeping on the couch (still reserved for me i hear..sweet aint it?)..my bros all packed in like sardines on the floor..all the adults looking for bedding everywhere..all us kids (ya still consider myself that) assigned duties n stuff to help in the puja..making all the prasad n bhog thalis..making the alpana..getting all the flowers..dubba n bel-pata..readying the veranda for the protima..getting the idol..in fact the preparations are much more fun than the puja itself..all us cousins running around all day..me keeping nirjala upwas n my dratted bros n sis (wretches that they are) deliberately taking me out pandal hopping in the evening n making me look at all the food..knowing i cant even think of a drop of water before the puja is over..which will be the middle of the night..hehe..but its all soo much fun..getting everyone to stay up all thru the night..fighting over the dhak-dhol to peetofy..losing breath in between sankh bajaoing n all those weird noises consequently made coz i just couldnt keep from laughing at all the funny faces my dumbo bro would deliberately make..uloo-ing our lungs out..all in different pitches..some not even properly..just wagging the tongue while screeching "uloo-loo-loo" at the top of the voice!!..collapsing in giggles after a sec or two..the exasperated glares from the purut..hehe..

everything so vivid still..as if it just happened yesterday..so many many memories..and to think i still have two more years at least when i wont be home for the pujas!!!..n then god knows where il be working..god how i wish one could remain a child forever..leading careless tension-free lives..school days..only worry being tests n holiday homeworks (oh how i hated that..n put it off till the last min always..classic me..hehe)..all those tiffin periods.."buffet system"..hehe..rainy days when almost noone would come to class..splashing around in the "ganga-yamuna" of the cycle stand..hehe..free periods galore!!..chatting, teasing n joking..getting caught reading a novel in class coz sum dumb guy snitched..making up some wild excuse like it being a "serious book" read as research for a project (well that part was true..i did need anthrax material for my "biowar" project..but that robin cook thriller didnt really give me much material..hehe..but guess what..jain sir actually believed it..n since my notes were top-notch n i read only when the guys asked some dumb question to sidetrack the class..which was like all the time..so he actually gave a telling off to the guy for snitching on me!!..cool or what!!)..hmmm..playing "killer-killer" and some guy winks at u thinking u were winking at him..hehe..all those sessions of "dumb charades" n "spin-the-bottle" during the last few days before exams when almost noone turned up for class..killing time with gay abandon..looking at us noone would think we had our xams in a few days..living life like theres no tomorrow..those really were the best days of my life..unforgettable experiences all..miss it all like hell..

god..all of this is making me feel just too nostalgic..n then m listening to all these senti instrumentals as well..too much "atmosphere" around..well anyway..guess id better get going..this could take forever..
ciao..for now..

ps: i cant believe its my fifth month of blogging!!!!..i mean..woah..time really does fly.. :)

crazzzy times!!

2006-10-01T23:59:00.000+05:30

im crazy..i talk crazy..walk crazy..behave crazy..i just am crazy..not to be confused with crazy for something or someone..
i am crazy..thats it..period..

latest crush..

2006-09-27T00:33:00.000+05:30

inuyasha!!..(well surprise surprise its anime again..oh ohhh..naughty naughty!!..get your mind outta the gutter now..hehe)..anyway lately iv been absolutely devouring these episodes..had seen a few back home during the hols..but didnt really like it..coz i watched it from the middle or something maybe..n seemed just too kiddish that time..but nothing good on lan makes one go through a lot..long story short got a few episodes and the four movies from another anime buff..and the rest is history..m officially hooked..i mean its not all that great..and it does kinda repeat stuff a bit..but overall not all that bad..and it definitely has its moments..and if the lan-sea is drying up..well beggars cant be choosers right..you get the picture..so anyway i liked the movies better..but maybe thats coz those were subbed and the eps are dubbed in english..i toh personally feel that the original jap versions sound much better..not only in this..but all animes actually..some people say they cant read the subs and watch it simultaneously n all..but thats never been a prob for me..works like a charm..n its just better hearing it how it was meant to be..and the dubbing is what makes the voice n all slightly on the silly side..the jap version is more serious..grittier..and the terms n spells n all arent translated to english..and that weaves its own magic..i mean..its much more mystical if one hears "kaazana" rather than "wind tunnel"..and anyway like i said..the voices are much more suited to the characters in japanese..its as if in jap its anime..but once its in english..its cartoon..dunno if thats how to explain it..but anyway..hellooo bigger picture here..

so well apart from my new interest in inuyasha..lifes pretty much the same around here..no hols for dp again..hmmm..but well no point bemoaning that now..rather get back to watching those eps..oh n btw..inuyashas got a nice soundtrack..n some of the endsongs are quite hauntingly melodious..too bad they are in jap or would have posted the lyrics as well..translations dont really have it..not the real thing..

anyway..until next time..(which i guess doesnt seem to be too near in the immediate future frm the current trend of things)..
ciao..

thinking..

2006-09-14T18:53:00.000+05:30

these past few days..i have opened loads of "create posts" pages..and closed them again due to various reasons..the latest being me accidentally deleting the text before publishing or saving the post..most pissing off..but anyway..mostly its coz i have nothing to write about..weird coz of course things keep happening all the time..yet i have nothing to blog about..like at dinner everyday mads will always have to ask her trademark question "n what have u been upto?"..n to this my stock response is always the monosyllabic "nothing"..without fail..not that i really do nothing..(as in i dont spend my time just staring away into space or anything..though that would also constitute as something..n thinking..or contemplating to use a fancy term for it..is definitely not nothing..)..so anyway its more like theres nothing "new" that i do..or can write about..the same old monotonous routine..day in and day out..everyday..with the possible inclusion of new movies as each day goes..hehe..otherwise nothing else changes..ever..

so m stuck here again.."nothing to declare" as one would tell customs officials (tho why i brought up this similie is beyond me)..whatever..hence without further ado i bid goodbye..with these lines from "incomplete"..backstreet boys..(tho "show me the meaning" still remains my all-time fav from bsb..but right now these words sorta "speak to me")..
ciao..

I've tried to go on like I never knew you..
I'm awake but my world is half asleep..
I pray for this heart to be unbroken..
But without you all I'm going to be is..incomplete..

ps: done with "smallville"..itching for the 6th season now..

sundayyyy!!!!

2006-09-10T10:56:00.000+05:30

so a sunday again..a day of fun n masti..no classes n no tension..n best of all no waking up to the alarm clock!!..so needless of to say the majority of my sundays are always spent under the covers..blissfully in dreamland..but not so today..after wat seems like ages..m up on a sunday morning!!..actually woke up before 7..n had to force myself to go back to sleep to get up at a more respectable "sunday time"..which happened to be 9.30 (in case u wondering, thats a new high fr me..)..weird really coz this is one sunday which i dont hav to go out in the morning (whch is usually the main reason of my waking up before noon on sundays)..n can actually spend doing nothing..no pressing work for monday as far as i remember..yieeeee..

so lemme nt waste any more time writing stuff here..n get on with it..so off to "smallville" again..on 5th season now..had heard abt it n seen a few promos n ads n even a few snippets while channel hopping..but got down to watchin it this summer vacation n actually pounced on it once it came on lan..hehe..

soo..later..
ciao..

nothing

2006-09-09T22:19:00.000+05:30

i wish i had kept this blog anonymous..or at the very least..not broadcasted its existence to all n sundry by putting it up in huge billboard-style neon lights on orkut!!

but well whats done is done..thats it..nothing else..
ciao

moot!!

2006-09-07T21:09:00.000+05:30

back after a bit of a snooze from bloggerworld..been very busy..have a dratted moot tomorrow..ct (thats commercial transactions to the blissfully ignorant)..for which had to submit the memorial this evening..god knows why this guy is such a stickler for day-before-memos..usually one can happily make the memo on the last nite and submit in the morning itself..but not so for biki..oh no..he has to have it before so he can "read" it..which in other terms means him chronicling each and every teeny tiny insignificant mistake made anywhere..so as to get more n more ways of ripping u apart at the moot the next day..him n his dumb comments!!..like "why have u referred to benjamin when hes been dead for years??"..i mean..wth!!..the next time he even utters the word "benjamin" in class we're gonna ask him the same question..lets see what he can come up with then..a worse pj cracking prof iv never seen..n u hav to laugh at them..coz well..hes the prof..and with his track record n reputation..noones takin chances..hehe..

so anyway..meant to finish the memo last nite itself..but slept off and had to do it in the day..which is pissing off coz had to bunk classes..not that i dont like bunking classes..buttt..attendance!!..and i didnt end up utilising the whole day either as i had expected..ended up wasting a lot of time..but in the end memo done n printed n delivered..well before time..even after having to comb almost the entire univ for the guy who found just that time to go for walks all over the place..finally pinned him down at his apartment..now m waiting for d-day..i just knw im gonna get screwed..royally..n with "dangerous dave" spouting cpc (the code of civil procedure) mumbo jumbo next to him..

anyway..so after a while now..free for the night..thinking of a movie..got a few choices there..might finally watch poseidon n delete it..been rotting in my comp for ages now..ummm..gonna have a loooong chat with subho again..we've been chatting all the time..so much so that theres almost nothing new to say when im back home for the hols..hehe..anyway..m nt complaining..shes probably the only gud frnd frm kgp that im really in touch with..not counting orkut that is..including that..theres alsmot noone i am not in touch with..hehe..but not quite the same..

so well..gotta go now..dinner beckons..
wish me luck for tomm..
ciao..

the notebook

2006-09-03T02:33:00.000+05:30

so here i am again..writing a review for yet another movie i liked..make no mistake i dont review just about every movie iv watched..with the sheer number of them i watch all the time, this space would just overflow if i were ever to do that..hehe..

so now back to what i started with.."the notebook" is a love story..n a sweeter one i never saw..iv always been kind of a sucker for stuff like "a walk to remember" n "love story" n all..when im in the mood that is..and a saturday night with a packet of chips, chocolates n some fresh hot coffee..makes for great atmosphere..i had heard of it..even read a few reviews..but probably wouldnt have watched it if there were any better choices available on lan..but since iv watched probably every good movie ever made, finding something like that was a chance one shouldnt bet on..so i was resigned to watch this mushy romantic movie with quite a bit of misgivings..and at the end was blown away..totally..

an old man in a nursing home reads a story from a notebook..a diary..to an old woman suffering from dementia and whose memory is slipping from her more and more everyday..set in the 1940s, it is the story of two lovers who meet in the south at a carnival..allie was 17, a city girl from money..and noah was a country boy..the two fall crazily in love and spend the whole summer together but allie is forced to move and go to college..noah writes 365 letters..one for each day..for a year..but she never gets them..7 years pass and allie meets and falls in love with a wealthy soldier lon..but an article in the paper with noah standing in front of a fully restored, 200 year old home draws allie to him..the last time she saw the house it was a rotted decaying shamble..it had been noah's dream to buy and restore the house..for her..just the way she wanted it..she goes back to him to sort things out in her head..and to seek some closure..they spend a few magical days together and she doesn't want to leave ever again..allie now has to choose between her fiancé and noah..

thats all that can be said without letting out the plot..and it is really very very cute..the end is just sooo sweet..n lemme tell you..nothing is more adorable (or luckier) than old love..two old people dancing..gazing at each other as they did 50 years ago..anyway this is one movie even a part-time romantic like me will love..n it has all the magic of a timeless classic..dont miss it..happy watching..

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more..
that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds..

where am i??

2006-09-02T23:36:00.000+05:30

this past few days..actually weeks..make that months..or is it years??..iv been wasting my time..doing nothing..absolutely wasting it..throwing it down the drain..with no regard to anything..or anyone..and i really dont knw why..i mean..i love what im doing..law..in fact, i chose it much to my whole family's surprise..and a whole lotta frnds too..previously just one person from the whole of kharagpur had ever even thought of pursuing law..i didnt have a clue as to what it would entail..or what it was about..where to apply..what to do..what to prepare..i had no contacts in the field..not even a single lawyer in my whole huge extended family..all docs n engineers n profs n ias officers n businessmen..but a lawyer??..not one..zilch..so i had nothing in fact..till january of 2004 i was clueless as to what i wanted to do with my life..the only clear idea i ever had was that i wasnt going to end up in iit kharagpur..bog or otherwise..i mean i liked science n all..always have had a knack for it more than arts..but i was not a fanatic over maths or physics or anything..it was just that i was better at it than arts or commerce..but making a career of it!!..never came into question..my life wasnt one filled with plans or anything..it was strictly living in the moment..no HOWGIHs or HOWGALs for me thnx very much..hehe..n guess if i hadnt come across that ad by prime tutorials i would be doing something entirely different..like english..or mass comm..or even designing or something..but point is..i did see it..and went ahead to their office in cal..n the rest as they say is history..appeared for just three entrance exams that year..(even the worst students in my batch probably appeared for more!!)..lucky for me..got thru at one go..so welcome to national law university jodhpur..

it was my dream come true..(in fact, still is)..i was a bit confused when i came..but within a very short time i knew that this was where i belonged..really n truly belonged..was doing b.sc biotech hons. with ll.b hons..combining both my interests..n i was happy..more than i had ever been..i mean..this was the life i had always dreamt of..iv always loved arguing..n have always joked about committing the perfect murder n all..n now i could maybe do it knowing all the loopholes in the law..hehe..read all those novels of perry mason in school..hehe..true that my first choice would have been to become a secret agent..hehe..but never mind those childish fantacies..i had arrived!!..finally..the place was great..away from the city..no pollution..great sky..awesome climate..perfect lil single rooms!!..(i was a bit apprehensive about having to live wth someone..i mean..poor girl..)..great mess food..(yeah another thing i was verrry afraid of..having had to hear of the awful inedible stuff they serve in iitkgp)..24/7 net n lan..a great group of friends..i mean..what else does one need in life??..

hehe..anyway..the first sem was a breeze..the best ever..and i dont knw exactly when things started to go downhill..when the novelty wore off..when the monotonousity set in..suffice to say..the rose coloured glasses came off..n then as they say..the rest is again history..

so now..where am i..what am i doing..i have no business wasting my time like this..living in a dream world..refusing to step into reality..even knwing that someday it will all come crashing down as nightmares..oh i soo envy retired people..who have already gone through life..and have only memories..like dreams..n why do i do this??..my usual excuses of laziness or procastrination with regard to anything even remotely resembling work??..maybe..maybe not..not this time..im not that dumb or stupid..to throw my life away for a bit of a lie-in..not for this long anyway..or am i??..so what is it??..i happen to be perpetually bored..even when i have a million things to do..even watching movies or reading isnt quite as appealing as they seemed to be..nothing is..everything is in like a haze..time flies..just now it was yesterday..and now its today..and before i know it, it will be tomorrow..n i dont knw where all this time goes..so fast..days come and go..how..its like im standing in the middle of..everywhere..and everything is moving..very very fast..like streaks u knw..n im still..so perfectly still..is this how a druggie feels??..i wonder..(not seriously no..actually who cares..if im "high" on life..so be it..but somehow i dont quite think so..)..

anyway..as usual my fingers are typing away at something which i have no clue came from where or how..or even why..n i might be making a huge mistake..penning all this down n publishing it like this..but what the hell..wats life without a few mistakes right??..

tada then..
ciao..

vanilla sky

2006-08-31T06:26:00.000+05:30

the sweet is never as sweet without the sour...

soo true..so open your eyes to reality..living life in dreams doesnt pay off..n one can only truly appreciate the "sweet" when there is the "sour" to compare it with..well guess thats what "vanilla sky" is in a nutshell..but not quite..its very simple and yet too complex..a movie i just cant justify with an orthodox review..still reeling from the after-effects of it..that too a good 3 hours after m dun..it hits u at sooo many levels..at one side its a sweet romantic movie..on the other hand its a dark psychological thriller..or again a sci-fi futuristic flick..one man's journey thru his life..his mind..tom cruise is magnificient..a rivetting role..and he actually does justice to it..n thats no mean feat..

the subconcious is a very powerful thing..and has been portrayed beautifully in here..the mind can play tricks..looks can be deceiving..whats reality and where does the dream end??..a striking movie..ambiguous to the end..something which will make u stop and think at the end of it..if this does not raise a question or two in ones mind..one of those few movies which are soo quirky..disturbing..different..one cant call it weird coz that would be an obvious insult..n thats the problem..coz one cant call it any one thing in particular..its a suberb blend of sooo many things (for want of a better term)..one just has to see it to get it..and even then u might not..and definitely not at first..the twists n turns are just soo intricate..sometimes quite overwhelming..but disarmingly simple really..from the correct perspective..

this will have to do for now..i knw its mostly disjointed phrases n all..but saying more will only deduct from the pure viewing pleasure of it..and im not about to put a spoiler alert on this one..has to be experienced first hand..so i leave it at this..

i'll tell you in another life, when we are both cats............

my blog for the day..

2006-08-31T02:27:00.000+05:30

yes thats how its become now..as is obvious frm the frequency of my posts, the blogger bug has bit me..big time..its now almost at par with orkutting..well..on second thought, mayb not quite..but anyway its part of my daily routine now..wich can be effectively summarised as: cum bak frm class/anywhere else..open door..switch on comp..close door..keep keys, mobile, bag, watch, coupons (by which time comps booted up..see everythings sooo well coordinated)..start sum music..start lanfind..chek gtalk..open ym..chek offlines n click on mails..chek yahoo mail, gmail..(hotmail n rediff sumtimes too)..whew..delete like a hundred irrelevant mails..read n reply to the dozen or so kv grp mails (n sumtimes a lot lottt more)..check orkut fr scraps, frnd requests n msgs..n reply..mayb evn visit a few profiles to leave my share of itty bitty lines fr d day..read d orkut fortune n laugh abt it..mayb chek a community or two..open blogger..click create post..by wich time ders sumone or d othr online tryin (yes trying being d operative word) to bug me..n a few reply scraps hav landed up as well..n anothr dozen latest kv grp mails..deal with dem..bak 2 blogger..write a few lines..munch on sum chocs..chek bak on lanfind..preview a few of d new movies..mayb start downloadin sum..again a few lines fr d blog..reply to d newest mails again..scrap replies..chatting on in d background as well..silently scream n utter a few curses wen d comp unshares d movie with ~5 secs remaining fr download..(thats about as close to really pissing me off as u can get)..back to firefox..suddenly realise d person ur chattin with hasnt replied bak in sumtime..guess wat..yes..nets gone again..fiddle with d proxies a bit..scream n curse again..(dats me nearly but nt quite royally pissed)..ask sumone outside wethr nets wrking..negative as expected..bak inside..n miraculously in d meantime nets started again!!..yiee..whoop of joy..but now gotta chek archives fr d missed "hii..u der..dc??..its been 15 mins..busy??" msgs..couple of "yes m here now..net probs again..srry"..now bak to the grind..in dis lil while another spate of mails has arrived..after finally m dun with that..bak to blogger..n dis time get a lotta words in before m torn bak 2 orkut fr dat scrap-chat i was having..a near repeat of the abuv with a few permutations n combinations later..my blog for d day is dun!!!..so update d date n time on d post a few hrs forward to b in sync with d present..n finalllyyy..hit "publish post"..net willing it works the first time around..

now in case ur wondering..yes after publishing the blog its back to the usual gmail, orkut, gtalk blah blah routine..of course there are the occassional time-outs for movies..n sumtimes assignments, moots n projects..or just random netting away till the wee hrs of the night..

so..now blogging has become an added "attraction" in my routine..as one can see..its not quite the intellectually-superior-opinion-on-everything-blog..or the soppy-mushy-senti-poem-blog..just a regular-off-the-top-of-my-head-anything-goes-kind-blog..weird mumblings et al included..just wat i feel..when i feel..n thats the way i like it..hehe..tho i dont have any idea why m actually writing all this down!!!

oh btw..suddenly started raining..n of course there were the few weirdos who went romping around even tho its freezing at this time..(actually "that" time..it being around 11.00-11.30-ish then)..considering ppl r dying of floods around us..its a wonder we have been spared..a pleasant dry spell fr sumtime now..not that i hate rains n all..i actually happen to like the rains..but only coz of the nice earthy smell..the gorgeous sky..the clean look..n the coolness it brings..so since its been quite cool enough even w/o rains..n the sprinklers bring in the smell everyday anyway n the sky is perennially gorgeous..n m willing to forego the "clean look" part if it means less mud n water-logged roads around..god knows how many ruined jeans i had to wash this season coz of it!!..

so well thats it fr now..in the middle of watching "vanilla sky"..mayb will review it once m dun..but so far its been good..very powerful..if thats the word m luking fr..the food for thought kinda movie..

point to be noted..started writing at 12.34 am..n look at the time now!!..hehe..
ciao..

wish update!!!

2006-08-29T22:32:00.000+05:30

well seems like my dearest wish was of a gud dinner..jst came true..asked for butter chicken but got one better..fish curry today!!!..yummmmmm..yieee..now its on for a gud nite..with me armed with chocolates n cookies..books, movies, music n net..lets see how it ends up..hehe..

yieee again..
ciao..

dilemma..

2006-08-29T20:23:00.000+05:30

todays orkut fortune: "your dearest wish will come true"..well and good..id love nothing more than my dearest wish to come true as well..that is..once i decide what that is..n thats where my dilemma is..coz i just dont knw..so lemme review my choices..hmmm..good (make that gr888) grades in acads..at least a few of my magnaminous prayers answered..removal of the marks-for-attendance rule..(hehe)..being able to keep a few resolutions fr a change..all those wishes i made for every forwarded chain mail (and thats a lotttt)..good health..doing something great maybe (pretty vague that..)..becoming filthy rich!!!..hehe..n last..definitely not least..the very cliched: happiness!!..add to that a few other odds n ends which cannot quite be listed in such a public place..lol..so quite a nice lil shopping list of wishes iv got here..and im sure that il remm a few more after iv published this..

and that leaves me exactly where id started..square one..whats my dearest wish??..n for the life of me i cant quite point a finger at one..and even if one does..there still remains a teeny tiny doubt..the question of "what if"..that maybe if i had chosen the other one..its easier to make it a blanket call and wish for something like happiness..sure to encompass everything then..but again what sort of happiness??..the right here right now kind??..or the forever type..the one in the long run..for which u have to suffer today to prosper n b happy tomm..n what of wishing for others..what goes round comes round right??..so that should be good enough to ensure future happiness..so wat do ppl do wen they see a falling star??..or chance upon a jenie bearing oil lamp!!..guess il forever remain at a disadvantage der..but maybe then il improvise..or more likely blurt out some really dumb wish in a hurry..as it is falling stars are always too fast for my reaction times..even if i am stupid enough to believe in them..

anyway..im blabbering away..n that too on sumthg which is nt quite relevant..i mean..face it..however much i write abt this here..or debate on it..no jenies gonna be granting me any wishes soon..so guess i shud be focussing my energies in more productive directions..like getting ready fr a yumm dinner..(well hopefully yum..plz god plz let der b butter chicken today..hehe..)..so guess fr now..thats my wish..a gud dinner!!..n a gud nite..a maybe a gud morning as well..n a gud day tomm..n a gud nite tomm.................see there i go again..hehe..see now thats my problem!!! :P

oh n btw..latest crush.."kya mujhe pyar hai"..frm "woh lamhe"..the music..the beats..the chords..the chorus..the bhatts have struck gold again..so wat if its a total lift??..when has that ever stopped them from becoming chart toppers..the latest "ya ghali" to "ya ali" in gangster worked better than a charm..

now i shud really get going..
ciao..

ps: still thinking..what is my dearest wish??..will knw for sure n share once it comes true then!!

unbreak my heart...

2006-08-28T22:13:00.000+05:30

currently listening to..."unbreak my heart"..toni braxton..and plz no questions abt who broke mine..fyi its still intact n will b so in the foreseeable (as well as unforeseeable) future..just happen to really like this track..the music n the lyrics..so here goes..

Unbreak my Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Un-do this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart..my heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Ohh..oh
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my
Un-break my heart, oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on

freshers' nite!!!!!!!!

2006-08-27T03:38:00.000+05:30

partyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!.....one heck of a parrrtehhh..hehe..the dj was gr888 (someone roped him in frm jaipur..guddd move..hehe)..the music jst rocked!!..then the food was yummm..specially the chilli chicken..scrumptious..de-hiii-licious (as in when stretched the cox way)..only thing missing frm before was the never-ending supply of pepsi n the like..man i miss that..too bad its still banned..anyway..d dance party was sposed 2 have started frm 7.30..but late kates that we are..we ended up just shy of 9..n it was already pretty much on the go..still we danced till we dropped..just got over a few hours or so back..so one can imagine how much we jingled jangled around..n in those mt. everest-like high heels too..the basky court was transformed as usual into the disc..all dark n smoky..proper ambience..proper lighting..n with skimpy skirts n slutty dresses all around..hehe..everyone dresses up sooo..ppl running around all nite yesterday..so well i donned a skirt after what seems like ages..n even ghosty wore a dress..

hmmm..well it was just ghosty, surabhi n me this time..mads, ananya n deeksha ditched us to go fr a nite out at ananyas..that sucked..wish they'ed been here too..wud have been sooo much better with the whole gang..n in some time gaurav n kartikeya also went off..n g toh was of course flitting around like the lil kid he is..jai stuck around till the end tho..his n polalis moves are the funniest ever..playing "piya tuuuu ab toh aaja"..n il forever remm those two everytime i hear "monica my darling" now..hehe..n all along they'll just keep on moving..here..there..everywhere..n anupam seemed stuck hanging upside dwn to nilesh's waist..hehe..well so we danced n danced n then danced some more..got back bone weary after 1..n had jst awsum funn..n at this hr of course no ones online to stem my bubbling word flow..hehe..hence blogger world's bearing the brunt.. :)

so..all in all..the best freshers' since iv been here..n to think we thot id be too boring n all..n almost decided not to go..anyway just tooooo tired to type any more..

signing off now..
ciao..

ps: watched "dragon tiger gate" today..amaaazzinggg fight scenes..brilliantly choreographed kung fu sequences..n nicholas tse is jst sooooo cuuuteee..n a good fighter to boot..hehe..a must watch for all action buffs..

kids in america...and other things...

2006-08-26T00:33:00.000+05:30

"get schooled..not fooled".........the tagline of this off-beat movie i watched this aftee.."kids in america"..while glancing thru it before downloading it appeared to be one of many regular teen high school movies rampant on lan..but m glad to have been wrong this time..rather, its a movie about teens..n carries quite a compelling message..nt really in the mood to write a lengthy synopsis now..so heres my take from an official review..

based on real events, "kids in america" is a teen comedy/drama about a diverse group of high school kids who band together to peacefully kick their principal's ass..holden donovan is fed up with principal weller who goes to great lengths to stop the students from exercising their right to free expression..she expels a girl for passing out condoms and advocating safe sex on "national safe sex day" and suspends another for writing an expressive poem in her "private" journal..meanwhile, she is running for the superintendent of their school district, which will give her a chance to practice her brand of administration beyond booker high..the students have an ally in mr. drucker, one of their teachers who encourages them to fight for their rights..he pays a high price for his leadership and is fired by the principal too..he decides to use his dismissal to make a change of his own, by producing a documentary chronicling the experiences of students who are faced with similar issues..as the story unfolds, donovan befriends a group of kids including charlotte, lawrence, chuck, walanda, emily and katie..together they organize the student body to take on weller and bring some real change at booker high..

so thats it..some funny gags on the princi..incidently shes julie bowen of boston legal..but with a serious undertone..one of the few "teen movies" which actually speaks to u..and not about the normal "dont go drugs" n stuff..overall a good watch..a good concept..and the portrayal of some great acting skills..totally worth it..

well..in other news..was mads bday yesterday..had a fun midnite bday bash again..deeksha made a yummm rum cake!!..considering the ingredients were fruit cake, choc horlicks n cashews..this 10-min delicacy is nothing short of a miracle..anyway..we hoped to get high coz v had put in quite a lottt of rum..but (un)fortunately we all seem to be experts at holding our liquor..hehe..sooo another bday shopping spree last evening too..this time with ghosty..n sooo last min that for the very first (n i hope last) time in my life i went out with not a single rupee on me..felt sooo naked somehow..lol..this time it was soo much harder to decide wat to get..n we ended up getting quite a lot actually..havnt calculated how much it all was..must hav exceeded the budget by millions..n g was also along fr the ride..wanted to fag on the way bak in the auto..n ghosty took a few drags..says she liked the smell n all..weird how anyone can do that!!..i toh positively gag at even passive smoking..sorry but cigs n drugs are the two things im nt gonna be doing in the near (or far) future..but drinking..as in properly getting roaring drunk..definitely..if only to check my threshold or to freak this one guy out..hehe..

anyway..fam law test tomm..problems on partition..hopefully will turn out fine..and i wont end up making sum dumb-dodo-style-blunder..otherwise have a good feeling about this..n then theres freshers in the evening..supposed to be something big this time..with a dj from jaipur n all..lets see..n ghostys sooo dead if she ditches me fr the guys..thnk god kart n gaurav will also be there..

well so long..
ciao..

yippeeee...

2006-08-23T14:22:00.000+05:30

yep..yiee fr me.."me comps wrkin agin"..after 2 days of pure unadulterated torture..which i dunno how i cud endure..never realised more how handicapped i am without my comp..there seemed to be nothing to do inside the room which did not involve the comp..it was soooo weird to see the blank black monitor staring back at me while i sat n read on my bed..n no music!!!..no movies..no mails or chats!!!..time seemed to drag on so..and i ended up sleeping all thru last evening n nite..literally of boredom..n its doubly worse when i dont knw whats wrong with the comp..as in..there was some problem in the monitor..now something wrong with the cpu..or if the hard disk crashes..that i get..but the monitor not switching on inspite of everything is beyond me..even when the connections were perfectly fine and one could hear it booting up in the background..n added to that is our resident comp idiot kk singh..someone should seriously go dunk him in all this recent mud..that guy actually wanted me to go ask the electrician guy about the monitor!!!!!..n i was like "OMG"..n den he has d gall to call himself a comp repairman!!..anyway m glad its wrking again..miracle really..must have been all d damp n stuff..tho knwing my comp..it was all in spite..probably trying to punish me or teach me a lesson..well message recieved thnx very much..whew..more than glad to be back n dismiss it all as a baaaddd nightmare..

so alls well in my lil world now..n the sun is shining again..truly..after what seems like an eternity of cold wet incessant rains..and consequently cold damp living conditions..actually had to plug the heater in sumtime during the night!!!..heard there were floods in udaipur n even osian..that must be a first..n did someone mention snow in sahara??..ppl dying of heat strokes in assam!!..seems to be rapidly turning into the plot of "day after tomorrow"..i fr one luuuv winters..but an ice age is not what i bargained for when i wanted the climate here to always be cool!!..

anyway..gotta rush now..class in a few mins..
ciao..

ps: my todays orkut fortune - "you will spend old age in comfort and material wealth"..glad to knw and i certainly do hope so..hehe :)