return of the boredom..

yes i am bored..again..i know..story of my life..giant seas of boredom interspaced with tiny land masses of fun..well i am seasick..

got to reading my own blog..yes i am *that* bored..was kinda unsettling to note that most of my posts either start off or end on or at least mention in passing that i am bored..its like its official..on the record..that at least since 2006, i have been bored more or less all the time..but my life kinda rocks as compared to a few others i know..it must suck to be bored AND have a crappy life..at least i don't have that on my plate..still bored tho..

dammit i want a congregation in kol asap!! i know that at least ananya reads this fairly regularly..so plz..set the ball rolling..

ps: do ppl who write pompous blogs actually think in such complicated language or just use such words in their blogs to make them seem more "meaningful"??

blog tweet

so this is wat has been bugging me tonight..well at least a considerable portion of it..

"he's everything you want, he's everything you need
he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
he says all the right things at exactly the right time
but he means nothing to you and you don't know why.."

fn: vertical horizon - "everything you want"..

ok scratch the 1st two lines..its the last two which r down pat on the point..

ps: yes..i have issues..

pps: i wish ghosty were reading this..she'd understand the real meaning behind it..i guess..

ppps: i love barney (the one from himym n NOT the purple dino!)

pppps: i wanna play the slap bet board game too!!..n wow that was some mental ad..

suddenly sad..

a few hours back..heck like just 15 mins back, i remember being bored..immeasurably bored..trying to find something to occupy my mind..n suddenly now m sad..not depressed..not lonely..not nostalgic..just very very sad about something..weird coz i don't have anything to be sad about really..hmm..

timeline of wake up sid's release..well..not entirely..

at work..bored outta my mind..went blog hunting..greatbong had some amazing stuff as usual..but when my demented laughter started turning a few heads, had to change tracks..landed up on a "mush blog"..that is to say, a typical mushy-wushy poem/prose blog stating in increasingly gory details blow-by-blow accounts of all her relationships starting from when she was a baby!!..but again when my demented laughter rang out after reading a few posts, had to remove myself to more serious pursuits..didnt happen..few more random n boring blogs later chanced upon the following post: "timeline of wake up sids release" ..needless to say my demented laughter made yet another appearance..

i gave up and gave in..no work and all play makes me bored and laugh..dementedly..apparently.. :P

boy boy then..

ps: need tips to commercialise my blog..turning out to be more "dear diary" type than i intended..and i need to be a famous movie star to pull that off commercially..hmm..well whatever..

a girl in the rain..

a chilly night..a little after 11 pm..drizzling quietly..a lone girl is walking down a deserted gariahat getting wetter by the second..the few passersby who are there look on curiously as she continues walking, occasionally smiling to herself or nodding her head to some unknown beat..suddenly a shiny black car stops beside the girl and rolls down the window..inside is a appropriately confused looking young chap..he asks (in very proper cultured english mind you) for directions to salt lake through park circus and the girl duly obliges..as the girl starts walking away, the guy requests to drop her if its on the way..the girl politely refuses n moves forward..the guy (who she notices is actually quite cute) follows n asks again..n again..n just when the girl thinks it's getting annoying, he says something that makes her almost laugh out loud.."don't worry, i'm not gonna kidnap you"..the girl almost turns around to make a sarcastic remark but decides not to humour the guy n walks away..she reaches her bus stop..within a few minutes guess what passes by? the shiny black car! (moving in an entirely different direction to the one she gave the driver to arrive at his destination :P)..a bit more window rolling, polite "no thanks" n "i really *am* safe..trust me" ensues..a few more people start gathering n the guy finally takes the hint n drives away..the girl finally gets on a bus, sits down n bursts out laughing..

is it too sad that one has to be so untrusting that one doesn't recognise genuine "good samaritanism"?? or is it better to always be on your guard??

my moment with lelouch

sitting bored at work
staring into empty space
i looked out the window
and straight into a piercing purple gaze

eyes like burning tourmaline
set in a face pearly white
a striking profile if i ever saw one
made something inside me clench tight

for seconds, minutes or even hours
i stared unblinkingly
till suddenly the ping of my messenger
made me glance away unwittingly

as i looked out again
the man was gone
and in its place i found
the neighbour's dog all alone

suddenly it struck me
why the stranger seemed so familiar
but he couldn't be the real deal
i must be hallucinating, oh dear

for in that split second
or eon i know not which
i had glimpsed lelouch vi britannia
i lie not or throw me in a ditch

a moment with lelouch
is what had made my dreams thrive
but looking at the scene outside my window
at only one conclusion could i arrive

you may laugh in disbelief
or look at me with disdain
but i will never forget the lazy afternoon
my moment with a cosplayer in a calcutta bylane

yes yes i know..horrible..posted on a dare so there! ha ha!

of age and lists..

seems that lately all my friends have suddenly realised that they are ageing!..n since most of my frnds r chronologically younger than me, this situation dusnt exactly make me feel the best..i hav like 21 yr olds talkin abt hitting mid-life crisis fr gods sake!! n here i am, a year from attaining "silver" status, made to feel like a 2 yr old at work..in fact my boss actually likens me to his not-even-2-yr-old-daughter!!! go figure..anyway that probably has something to do with the fact that i behave like a looney at work what with being too bored during the court strike n well - actually being a loony inside..hehe..n coz my brain probably holds lesser legal knowledge than my boss' daughter..well anyhoo..a "heated discussion" about ageing and de-ageing ensued..n how one dusnt grow old really unless one starts "feeling" old mentally..anyway whatever..blah blah..

basically what it all culminated in was the bringing up of our old original "to do before so n so age" lists..my "so and so age" was 25 yrs old incidentally, a point which had kinda slipped my mind..reading through what a relatively naive 18 yr old carefree college kid had thought would be accomplished by the ripe old age of 25 yrs was a revelation..i laughed n laughed at a few of my weird choices..cant blv that even then i had somehow thought that after getting the law degree i would be nearer to becoming a spy (my one true lifelong dream which ruled my imagination till i woke up one morning n realised that i dont live in america, the cold war is over, and that no indian intelligence service comes round for college placements)..n since this was my pre "jap crazy" phase, it contained a few really nostalgic names of guys who had later been overshadowed by the likes of yamapi n oguri shun..then again, a few dreams remain constant to this day..anyway going through them made me go all mushy n nostalgic inside, which was of course made a 100 times worse coz i had no court the next day n was bored mindless and hence had the time and energy left to wallow fully..saved somewhat by sreeni's msgs..nothing like discussing sadism to get outta the dumps eh??..at least distracted me a bit..but then a painfully cheerful 1/2 hour of conversation with et made me feel even worse..its at times like these that i miss having net 24/7..what i wudnt have given for an all-nighter chat with sumone..

hmm..this entry is getting too depressing..which wasnt my initial intention at all..anyway it all got me to thinking that maybe i should pen down my current list so as to let a future me have a laugh one boring day..so here it is..

renewed list of things to do before i turn "old" (in no particular order):

1. earn shitloads of money!!!
2. buy my dream car
3. go to japan and have a crazy affair with a hot japanese guy
4. go to japan and buy a real katana
5. go to japan and visit "ni chome"
6. basically just go to japan and go nuts
7. buy shoes i can only drool over now
8. fall in love (the real deal)
9. watch n read everything in my pending list (impossible i know)
10. buy the island (hehehe)
11. stay in a 7 star hotel for the weekend just because
12. become a successful criminal lawyer
13. defend a badly framed but innocent client and win
14. have annual holidays with ananya, mads n ghosty
15. adopt a daughter
16. attend a real anime convention and behave like a total fangirl (tho too old already i guess)
17. meet up with a few online friends who have become better friends than ppl i see everyday
18. pay back my parents
19. get back to reading books
20. learn how to speak japanese properly

just 20 for now..mostly do-able..lets see how long it takes me to fulfill these..
toodle dee doo!