happiness..

it was a gorgeous rainy afternoon, if you go for those kinda days..had been pouring all day..really cold..i normally do not like excessively rainy days..just makes me feel all "romantic" (read moody n depressed..hehe)..mostly id feel like staying in, ordering some food and watching fluffy yaoi stuff all day cosy in bed to shake off the bad feeling..but today that was not to be..

on the way back from court, as we were driving past victoria memorial (which btw luks awwwwsummm wen its all wet..especially against the backdrop of a dark grey sky), it suddenly struck me..i was happy..like actually truly happy..lessee..i can now introduce myself as a "practising criminal lawyer of the calcutta high court"..i have just started earning for real..finally started wearing the gown n band in court..can actually be useful..have gotten cases of my own..u knw, like with my name in the vakalatnama..its an amazing feeling..and then there was a really nice song playing on the radio..normally id feel all blue that i was alone n stuff..but not today..maybe it was the impromptu biryani lunch we had (yummmm!!!)..or maybe it was that it just got through to me that things were going right in my life..that the huge gamble i had taken in college was really paying off..a feeling that this is what i was made for..a sense of belonging..

im probably rambling too much..but it was like i had this one moment when it suddenly became dazzlingly clear that this is what my life is gonna be like..as in, all those times when id be thinking n imagining as to what kinda life id have n sumhow it wud feel like my life was always gonna start sumtime in future..i guess it hit me now..this is my life..this is it!..i am a lawyer and i am practising..of course i hav a huuuuge way to go before i actually become any good..but i've started..my life has started..n it was very clear to me right then that i had actually pretty much gotten everything i wanted..im staying alone (which is to say that i go for work in the morning n cum bak at abt 11-11.30 at night, sumhow eat sumthg, finish any pending work n then crash..life is truly too busy to be "alone" really..the only time i even feel like i hav time to miss frnds n all is like a few hours snatched during the weekends if m lucky..i actually truly dunno how ppl manage to hav bfs or get married n stuff while maintaining a life like this..where on earth do u get the time????)..n i hav this amaaaaazziinngg job that i luuuurrrvvv..its an added bonus that my boss n colleagues r totally pally..complete sweethearts with mile long funny bones..hehe..then..i just luv kolkata..i have like the best lappy evah!..plus everyones a foodie in chamber which makes it that much easier for me to hog in front of them..its like i cudnt ask for anything more..except maybe a trip to japan..n thats covered as well if this guy keeps this promise he made a few days back!!

i guess even tho sumtimes i feel a bit sad that my frnds r not in the same city, all the gr8 things that r attached to kolkata would not have happened if id followed the crowd n gone to delhi or mumbai..joyda asked me sumtime back whether i liked college better or work better n was appalled wen i said i preferred work..i guess it is hard to comprehend since i pretty much had a 5-yr vacation back in univ n had probably broken all records for laziness..it would be hard to imagine that i actually wud wanna "work" at all..but then the first day u step inside the court room..its like u can hear a "ding! ding! ding!" going on inside your head telling u that this is the right answer..n thats it..

anyhoo..that was just a bit of a random ramble..spur of the moment thing..as i was thinking it all, i just knew that this wud have to be written..as incomprehensible as it is..

toodles for now..