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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

just for a while..

ok so this is my first poem here..n well first poem in years..first "real" poem not counting those rhymes n birthday msgs i used to make up..anyway basically first senti mushy lovey-dovey(?) poem by an adult me which i didnt immediately feel like deleting..made in a hurry by a very sleepy drunk-from-pepsi me (who incidentally is very irritated over a scratchy throat..runny nose..eyes which feel uncomfortably hot..n the beginnings of a pretty high fever!)..inspired from my current gtalk status ("did you know...??") n the hundred n one answers i came up with for all those ppl who bugged me abt it..soo well statutory warning time over..dont expect much n u wont b disappointed..anyway id better stop blabbering n get on with the real task..hai dozo :)

~ Just for a While ~

Oh did you know..
Gazing upon the stars..Still makes me think of you..
Even if just for a while..

Oh did you know..
Listening to our song..Still makes me cry..
Even if just for a while..

Oh did you know..
Looking at you across the room..Still makes my heart clench..
Even if just for a while..

Oh did you know..
Thinking back on our time..Still makes me regret letting you go..
Even if just for a while..

Oh if only you knew..
How many times I still wake up calling your name..
The hollow silence mocking me..
Your face burned in my brain..

Come back..Come back..Screams my empty heart..
Broken into a million pieces..
Too long have we been apart..
I know I loved you then..I know I love you now..
Come back..'Coz I know you loved me too..
Even if just for a while..

leave a comment if ya liked it..n a lil constructive criticism will not be unwelcome either :)
jaa ne!!

2 comments:

Mohan Sandeep said...

"hmmmmmmm....."
that - was my comment...
and as to constructive criticism.. i agree that i am not an expert in poetry.. but well..one line bugged me a bit..
"Your face burned in my brain.."
y didnt u use heart or eyes... face burned in brain is deviating from the lovey dovey senti purpose of the poem..

Debbz said...

wouldnt have gone with the whole rhythm i think.. :)